I Should Be Folding Laundry

Unprepared

I'm hesitant to write here tonight.  But writing is so important to me and really does feel like therapy.  I'm hesitant to hit publish, but I know you care.  I know someone will be able to relate to me, someone will benefit from reading my words, and I think that is beautiful.  Honestly, I need you tonight.

I desperately needed all of the encouragement, love and prayers everyone has sent to me on this day.  Whether it was by leaving a comment, sending me an e-mail or just thinking about my family and my precious sons.   I was not prepared for the amount of grief and just pure sadness I have felt today, it's been overwhelming, I am ready to go to bed and start out fresh in the morning.  I am exhausted.  It is my hope that tomorrow, the heavy weight in my heart will be lifted, somehow, someway.

I had this realization today, that my sons are dead.  Those words, those four words were words I never really allowed myself to say or even think. My sons are dead.

oh my god.

It's more than my heart can bear.  It's bigger than pain.  It's larger than sadness.  It's heart break.  It's my world torn apart.  I don't know how I got through today.  It was not because of strength.  Today I had none.  While crying in the shower, or while trying to put my make-up on, riding in the car or sitting in the bathroom stall in a restaurant, I pleaded.  I NEED STRENGTH.  PLEASE GRANT ME STRENGTH.

And there was none to be had.

This pain is bigger than me.  Today the pain, the evil beast, picked me up in it's palm and threw me against the floor.

I was unprepared. 

I was reminded over and over again that I was NOT THIRTY WEEKS PREGNANT.  That my boys were mere ashes in my bedroom.  just sitting.  not growing.  not thriving.  not loving.

They're not here.

And it's more than I can bear.

I can't help but scream and cry inside.  GOD NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO.  Please, no.

Please.

My son just came up to me and said "mama, are there babies in your belly?"  I replied, trying to sound brave, "no honey, I do not have babies in my belly."  He turned and said slowly, "okay.  I'll go brush my teeth then."  I wish I could just say "okay, then.  I surrender." But I can't.

Tonight, today.  I have no silver linings.

Just tears. so many tears.  and heart break.  Today I can't pretend.  This Mother's Day, this typically beautiful day for me, was dark and horrifying.

If you have prayers or positive thoughts to spare.  I need them more than I care to admit.

I just need them.

Mothers

I approach this Mother's Day in a way that I never knew possible.  I think back to last year when my biggest concern was if Brian was going to offer to take us out to breakfast or would I have to suggest it?

I didn't know how unimportant that really was.

My foundation, my beliefs, my soul have been rocked.  My life flipped upside down and shaken - it's contents flying about.  As a person, a woman, a mother, I'm no longer certain.  I ache.  I realize I am not in control

When I think of James and Jake, I feel their love immensely.  I sense their guidance, although they were with us for such a short time, I would rather have known them a little, than not known them at all.  How does that saying go?  It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

It is so painfully true.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and the day I would have turned thirty weeks pregnant.  It's almost too much for me to be able to handle, I am feeling so much emotion right now.  My sister and I just went to Kohl's and the sight of infant boys summer clothes hanging on a rack with clearance tags nearly brought me to my knees.  I swim in sadness, but somehow, my love for my family and those tiny boys is bigger than anything I could ever imagined.  Somehow, someway, my heart and my life are full, although empty.

Back on February 26, 2008, if I had even imagined what my Mother's Day would have been like, I would have seen myself in the fetal position, crying out, clutching my heart.  I would have wanted to skip over this celebration of Mothers and landed on the day after.

But I can't.   I am here.  Ariel and Racecar are here.  James and Jake are in my heart - where they belong, for the rest of my life.  Although it's not how I want to mother them, just in my heart, it's all I have and I will take all I can get.

It is my hope for you, whether you are expecting your first or your fifth child, whether you are trying to conceive or are adopting, whether your children or your child are in heaven or here on earth, it is my wish that you feel the love that surrounds you on this day.  That you see how special you are.  It is my hope that you comprehend the enormity of being a Mom.  and the miracle growing inside of you, if you are pregnant.  The importance of your role is not only significant in your children's lives and your husband's life, but yours and other mothers. Realize the good.  Accept the difficult.  Embrace the noise, the mess, the tantrums, the diapers, the late nights. 

They will not last forever - now is your time.  Hold it tight, it is so very precious.

Happy Mother's Day.

Surfing & Sharing

It's been a long time since I have been able to sit down and really browse the blogosphere and read blogs; I miss it.  Tonight, however, in between working on my BIG project and eating ice  cream, I have been catching up on reading my comments from this past week (I have never been behind before and I don't want to miss a single one!) and I have come across a few interesting blogs you may want to visit.  So, you come here, read this post, leave a note that says "happy Saturday, Beth!  I hope you are sleeping in!  Thanks for showing us these new blogs."  and I'll wave back and say "sleep in?  nope, we've been up since 6:30 an I want to bang my head against the wall.  Say, while you are visiting these fine bloggers, make sure you introduce yourself.  Everyone loves to meet a new reader, don't you?"

These bloggers sparked my interest.

Jen at Daily Mish Mash has an interesting post about Mother's Day and how commercialized it really is.  (this coming from someone who received a Blackberry Curve for Mother's Day two weeks ago.  But in my defense, I was going to get one anyway, it's our way of saying "hey we don't buy expensive things for no reason!  Let's make it a gift!"  and then we do.

Jill @ Live, Laugh, Blog was so inspired about my post about comments that she is having a giveaway for a Starbucks gift card.  All comments on this post will be entered to win.  What are you waiting for?  Get your caffeine on.

Yesterday was West Coast Diva's birthday and well, I really like her, she has been a great source of comfort for me, so it is my hope that you hop over here and wish her the happiest of birthdays.  (and read her post regarding her birthday - it's awesome.)

So, that should keep you busy for a little while.  See how I take care of you?  If you want more, let me know, because there are so many incredible blogs out there. (and I still have to catch up on my comments and my bloglines.)  So much to do, so little time.  I guess the laundry and the toilet cleaning will have to wait.  Thank God.

Happy Saturday.

Lemonade

Today started out like any other day, I woke up a little too late, the kids and I ran around getting ready for school, as is our routine and we had ten minutes to spare.  Just like everyday.  I had a full list of to-dos today, which included my job, a huge side project that isn't a side project at all, a showing at our house and being a Mom and a Wife.

We dropped Racecar off at school, picked up a cup of coffee from McDonald's and headed home.  I was busily preparing my massive to-do list in my head, knowing that I'd forget something if I didn't write it down.

We pulled into the driveway, I couldn't spare a second, I had so much to do.  Deadlines!  House to clean!  Blog! I opened the garage door with the opener, we jumped out of the car, approached the door.  And it was locked.  but that's okay!  I have a house key!  I retrieved my keys from my messy purse, "I don't have time for this!" I say to myself.  I slid the key into the lock.   No good, still locked.  I slid a different into the lock; still locked.

We were locked out of the house.

All I could think about was my laptop sitting on the table and I was unable to access it.  Sure, I had access to my blackberry, but there wasn't much I could do with that.  So, I called my realtor, I knew she would be able to open our lock box and get us in.  I called.  No answer.  I left a voicemail.  I e-mailed her.  In the meantime, poor Ariel was starving as she hadn't had breakfast, yet.  We drove through the McDonald's drive-thru, we parked and ate and waited for a return phone call.

"Could this day get any worse?" I thought to myself.

We drove back home, parked in the garage, I sent a few e-mails, cleaned out the car, while Ariel rode her bike and drew on the driveway with sidewalk chalk.  Suddenly, she comes running towards me with her hand behind her back, she screamed at me concerned "I HAVE TO POOP!  I HAVE TO POOP!  I HAVE TO POOP!  IT'S COMING OUT!"

oh dear.

"Ariel, you are going to have to hold it."

She shot me a look like "honey, they're ain't no holdin' this shit in."

I read her look, got the message, and told her to get into her car seat, "sitting down will help you" and "I'll drive us to the gas station." "Okay, Mama," she replied.  I rush her, "hurry, honey! HURRY!"

We went into reverse.

And I ran over her bike.

Are you freaking kidding me?   The only thing worse than running over your child's bike, is if they are with you when you run over their bike.  She watched heard ME massacre HER bike?  Suddenly she wasn't worried about poop any longer.

And I started looking for hidden cameras and Ashton Kutcher hiding behind the bushes.

No camera.  No Ashton.

We drove to the gas station, did our business and started heading home to, I don't know, sit in the driveway and stare at the broken bike.  But instead, I turned in the other direction.  My mood suddenly shifted.

I surrendered.  I quickly realized that sitting in my garage isn't going to make my realtor call back any sooner.  Instead, I embraced the bad moments of the morning and set out to make our morning better.  We drove to the Dunes and went for a long walk, or adventure as we like to call it.  We sat at every bench on the trail, but only for a moment on each as we had lots to see.  We talked.  I smelled spring.  I listened to those birds singing their amazing songs.  I felt the softness of my daughter's hand inside of mine.  No computers.  No cell phones.  No blackberries.  Just she and I, and James and Jake. 

I felt them.  I was filled with emotion, sadness and love mixed with anger and delight, but I felt the peace of my life during those moments.  Walking hand in hand with my daughter, I missed my sons so much.  Her touch providing the strength I needed. 

During those moments, while surrounded by trees and birds and flowers and sun and love, so much love, I felt like James and Jake had wrapped a gift up for me, wrapped in a bad morning, but inside that bad morning was glory and goodness.  We have decided, Ariel and I, that on Mother's Day we will walk through the Dunes with Brian and Racecar by our sides.  And I know, I just know James and Jake will be above us, smiling.

I can't wait to do it every single year.   I am so glad we were locked out today, it is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.

In over my head (and a contest!)

For the first time in what feels like forever, I am in over my head.  And it's not a negative thing, I have some very exciting things going on in my life right now and between that and blogging and cleaning my house and working and you know, mothering, I have darn right run out of time.

So, it's time for me to take a teeny-tiny blogging break - just a little one, see how I'm holding up my fingers?  It's small, right? 

I'll be back tomorrow, maybe Friday.  But I will back, you can count on that.  If you have e-mailed me, please forgive me, I will be checking and responding to your e-mails during this blog break o' mine.

In the meantime, I do have a post up here, feel free to read, but only if you have cereal stuck to your kitchen floor, dust on your end tables and crumbs in your carpet, it's important for you to relate, you know.

Look!  A contest!
I need you to tell me who you think is going to win American Idol.  Anyone who guesses correctly will be entered to win a free blog makeover.  If you just redid your blog, never fear, you will get six months to claim your prize.  Remember, you must guess who will win the entire thing.  You can guess until next Monday, May 12th, the comments will be turned off at 10:00 p.m. CST.  The winner will be drawn after the finale on May 21st.  If you do not have a blog, I will send you a $10 gift card to McDonald's or you can give the free makeover to your fave blogger.

oh and if you don't watch Idol, maybe you should start? or go here and take a wild guess on who is going to win.  (but don't guess Jason Castro - because he's gotsta go. oh and don't guess Syesha or David A, either.  I'm just sayin', dawg.)

oh and don't listen to me because I am always wrong.  I thought Guliani had the presidency in the bag, man.  (I didn't really, geeze - I told you not to believe anything I am saying.)

oh and leave your guess on this post and THIS POST ONLY. 

oh and make sure your e-mail is valid, ai'ght?

oh, if you vote for David.  Please tell me which David.

oh and ....oh, I guess that's it.

You've got questions? I've got answers...

It's becoming increasingly difficult to come up with catchy titles for these answer posts.  In fact, I don't think I have thought of one, yet.  I'm trying though, really, I am trying.

Here is the FIFTH installment of answers to your questions.

Let's get started, shall we?

Rebecca asks:

Hmmm... how did you meet your husband?   Brian and I went to high school together, however, we did not date during high school, we starting dating a few weeks after graduation.  I have been making him crazy ever since!  For more on how we met, click here.  It's a cute and romantic story.  Well, it's not really cute.  or romantic, really.  But it is a story.

and from Debbie:

How old were you when you got married?  I was young, although at the time I thought I was so old.  I do not have any regrets, however, well, I suppose I wish we had been a little more financially stable before our wedding day, but...what can you do?  I was 22.  At least I think I was 22.  (this requires math, don't ever believe any answer I have that requires math.)

and a good question from Megan at Fried Okra:

What's your biggest pet peeve? Let's see, I absolutely can not stand it when people (READ: MY HUSBAND) chew with their mouth open.  It makes me crazy, it actually puts me in a bad mood.  Why should I have to listen to that?   Also, I'm not a fan when people file their nails in public.  I think it's nasty and the noise annoys me.  (I constantly file my nails, but I do it at home or in the car.)  From a blogging perspective, I don't like it when people comment only to gain popularity, I am not saying any of you do it, but I have seen it done and I think it's wrong.  There's more, but I don't want all of you to start hating me.

Laurie (a Mom to FOUR BOYS!) wants to know two things:

Which gender is easier for you to parent - boy or girl?  Boy.  At least my boy.  He's so easy going, like his father.  Ariel is high maintenance but very loving.  Racecar is very loving, but happy as long as he as toy cars or a Wii nearby.

What kind of music is on your ipod when you exercise?  ANY MUSIC with a good beat. I listen to Britney Spears, Madonna, Army Cadences, Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Snoop Dog, Eminem.  I listen to it all.  My favorite, if I am being honest, is Madonna.  But my all time favorite work out song is Pump It, by the Black Eye Peas.  It's crazy good.

ie (Internet explorer? Is that you?  Is internet explorer asking me questions?)  Anyway, ie asks:

What's your favorite color?  This is so hard for me to answer.  But, I'll say green, slate blue and pink.

and a question from Ann:

Where did you attend college?  How long did you go?  What was your major?  I attended Purdue, but I did not graduate.  My major was communications.  I firmly believe that college was not meant for me at the time, in fact, I am passionate about many things, I have always done what I wanted to do in life and I wonder if I would be so fortunate had I received a degree in whatever I was majoring in.  I feel like I would have had to stick in that field because it's what I paid for and worked so hard for, whereas now, if I want to try something new, I do it.  I enjoy my life, not to say I wouldn't if I had finished college, I'm just saying I have no regrets.  And that pleases me and makes me happy.

wfbdoglover ask:

What is your favorite color?  Answered above.

How many countries have you visited? I have visited Barbados and Mexico.

Stacey asks a very interesting question:

Hubby has given me a free pass. Should I ever meet a certain celebrity (Okay it alternates between Bruce Springsteen and Jimmy Smits) and the opportunity presents itself I get one night of freedom from monogamy! So who would you consider pass-worthy? :-)  Wow, no one pops into mind, I suppose I would say Brad Pitt because OH MY GOD HE IS SO HOT and it would be a very interesting blog post, don't you think?  (I would totally tell you all about it, you're my friends!)

Heather asks one of the most disturbing questions of them all, but it's SUCH a good question, if you are reading this, I'd like to know how you would answer this one.  It's so gross.

Would you rather find a hair or a fingernail in your food at your favorite restaurant?  BLECH.  BARF.  VOMIT.  PUKE.  a hair.  *gagging*  And that restaurant would no longer be my favorite, no matter how good their damn chicken strips are.

and from Emily (isn't Emily one of the cutest names ever?):

When you were a kid, what did you think you would know by now that you do not know?  Emily, I don't know.  You have stumped me.

If you could bring back one thing from the 80s, what would it be? I personally love it when I see combs inside the back of jeans pocket, it's subtle yet stylish.

Amanda - Vintage Dutch Girl wants to know:

Do you wear flip flops? And if yes, what are your favorite brands?  I just started wearing flip flips two years ago.  The thing between the toes would drive me crazy, but Memorial Day weekend in 2006 I decided to wear them ALL weekend no matter how uncomfortable and we have been in love ever since.  I like Old Navy flip flops and a particular type from Target.  This kind, they are awesome, I need to go buy some more.  Right now.

And for the final question of the night, Susan asks:

What is the thing you like to do most as a family? If I said sleep, would that count?  Except I do not sleep with my kids, I just enjoy sleeping.  Honestly, I really enjoy vacationing with the kids and going out to dinner with them, they are very well behaved at restaurants, we have a lot of fun.

Time to watch American Idol!  Thanks for reading!

Oh, don't forget to tell me if you would rather find a hair or a fingernail in your food.  ew.

edited to add:  Our DirectTV receiver failed to record American Idol even though it said it was recording American Idol.  This is the THIRD time this season DirectTV has screwed up American Idol, the other two times were the results show and it stopped recording mid show.  Thanks, DirectTV, you're the best.  I guess the one benefit is that I don't have to look at Jason Castro's dreads and wonder how badly they smell.  There is always a silver lining.

So. Apparently you agree.

My post on comments yesterday sure did get a nice, positive reaction.  I love nice, positive reactions, it makes me happy, makes me do crazy things like shower and cook dinner and clean out my car.  And hum!  And whistle!  Yesterday will go down as one of the greatest blog days in the history of my blogging days, which says a lot considering I have over 750 posts under my belt and almost two and half years.  And it wasn't just MY blog post that made me so happy, it was hearing from you and learning new things from you.  Many of you have told me that you think of me as a friend, and (in your words) "seems so strange considering you don't even know me."  Well, you are changing that, I want to know you, too.

Thank you for your support, your agreement, your e-mails and mostly...YOUR COMMENTS! 

I have big news, well for me, it's big news, I wanted to show you what I have been up to, I have designed TWO more blogs.  That's right, TWO more.  Lynette and Mandy have both received complimentary blog facelifts, done by me. (complimentary because I am a rookie, an intern, if you will.)  Go check them out, won't you?  (here's a link to the first blog I designed)

This designing stuff is so much fun and just about the greatest distraction I could have asked for. 

so. 
who's next?  **Wow!  I've had enough volunteers to keep me busy until August.  or next week, whatever.  My queue is now full, I'll keep you posted when it opens up again!**

(more answers to your burning questions tonight!)

On Leaving Comments

I have had many discussions this week with various bloggers about the importance of commenting and how much they mean to a blogger.  We all understand that sometimes readers do not comment because maybe they are in a hurry, maybe they are not in the mood or maybe they just don't think that what they have to say really matters.

As a blogger, let me enlighten you on the subject of commenting.  I hope that I can encourage you to begin commenting on blogs (not just mine) that you read and also express my gratitude to those readers and fellow bloggers who always or most of the time, make it a point to leave a comment.

I will not speak for ALL bloggers, but I will speak for most, commenting is our payday.  Very few of us receive a handsome salary (I've always wanted to say handsome salary) or ANY salary for blogging.  Which is fine, many of us blog for the love of blogging, not for money.  Some people actually lose money because they pay to keep their blog and pay for their design but do not receive any financial kickbacks.  It's a hobby, something we enjoy.  Sometimes it's hard work, sometimes it's painful, there are so many reasons to keep a blog, but there is one thing all bloggers have in common, it takes our time, it comes from our hearts, (I hope) and most of the time, bloggers are proud of what they have written.

How do we get paid?  Through your comments.  A comment is more than just a comment, it's feedback, it's conversation, it's appreciation.  You not only hold our "paycheck" in your hands, you also hold our longevity.  A blogger who is appreciated is more likely to be a happy blogger and a happy blogger blogs for a long time and doesn't stop because they are under appreciated or frustrated.

The best way I can explain the importance to you, is with this question:  Can you imagine wanting to share a story, a thought or a belief with forty people and preparing what you had to say, choosing the right words and nervously approaching them and then saying what you had to say, you say it just as you planned and you wait for the response and the person you are talking to listens to you, looks at you and just walks away.  Without a smile, a frown - no reaction.  They just walk away.  And out of the forty people you say this to, only one replies to you. 

That's how it feels for a blogger.  But that's the way blogging is and we know this.  Do I always leave a comment on blogs that I visit?  No.  But I should do it more often, and I will.

You may think that what you have to say doesn't matter or your words are insignificant.  You may find it hard to believe, but your words are important, they make a difference.  Every comment that comes through my blog, is read and appreciated and I know I am not the only blogger who feels this way.  I KNOW THIS.

After reading all of this, I hope you don't feel like you can't go to blogs without commenting - because you can.  Readership is also very important, I justed wanted to portray for you how wonderful it is to share our thoughts and life experiences with you AND receive some form of feedback.  If you are still feel uncomfortable, that's okay.  I promise.

So, for all bloggers today, I hope you click on that comment button and say "great post" or "well said" on every blog that you visit. 

And I hope you feel good about leaving a comment, because that blogger feels so good that you took the time to leave one.

*Yes - you may link this post from your blog.*

More Answers to Your Questions and questions FOR YOU to answer

Are these series of answering questions interesting to you or does it make you wish I had never asked you to ask me a question? 

Because I don't want to bore you.  I'm just here to entertain.

and complain.  and vent.  and cry and scream.  Yep, it's all about entertainment.

And answer your questions - here I go for round three.  or it four?  I think it's four.

Today we start off by answering questions from a good blog friend of mine, Thea, she asks:

When you vacation, would you rather go sightseeing or shopping?  Mountain or Beach?  Downtime or activetime?  Sightsee AND shop, beach and downtime.  I enjoy allowing myself to fully relax and tend to do that on vacation.  I need a vacation.

If I actually WERE to start stalking you, what would be your most active time of day?  I'm all about efficiency you know.  hmmm...I spend much of my morning driving around, dropping off and picking up for preschool, so stalking me at that time would just cost gas money, I am almost always home between 12 and 4, if you need my address, let me know.

Did you throw nachos at the TV anytime this year? Gosh, I haven't.  Unfortunately, nachos and I broke up when I became pregnant with James & Jake.  I was so sick at night, nothing sounded good, especially nachos.  We have actually thrown away nachos AND queso because they expired. (THE HORROR!)  Maybe some day our love will be rekindled, right now I kind of like not relying on a snack every night.

I do want to throw my food at Jason Castro though.  I know some of you are fans of his, but he is so creepy to me, I just need him to be voted off.  STAT.

This is from my real life, very good friend, Lynette who is moving away from me next month.  (The nerve.  I am looking for someone to replace her, if you are interested in the position, e-mail me for an application, applicants must love to clean, bake chocolate chip cookies and enjoy watching my kids.)  I am also working on a new blog design for her, anyway, here is her question:

If you could change one thing about yourself (either physically or otherwise) what would it be and why?

Well, this is tough because I would change like 10 things about me, not that I hate myself or the way I look or anything, it's just some areas could be...let's say a little tighter, but if I have to choose one, then I would like a tummy tuck. 

This question is from Amy F. - a beautiful person, whom I went to high school with:

Dang girl, are you going to answer ALL of these questions?  Yes.

Hmm...since we know each other from high school, what were some of your most memorable moments from your time with the last graduating class of ___HS '95??  Amy, to me, high school feels like 170 years ago.  But it was only 13 years ago, which is still A REALLY LONG TIME WHICH MEANS WE ARE OLD.  But, I did enjoy my friends in high school, I loved being the editor of the school newspaper and I loved our spanish teacher.  I loved it when he called me an idiota.  No, really.  It was endearing.

A question from Kiki from Seagulls in the Parking Lots:

Good Wii game recommendations? (4 and 2 year old boys)
Yes, Mater National racing game.  It's awesome, Racecar totally gets it and loves it. (he's four)  Do not buy the Disney Princess game because it sucks, not that you would for your two boys, I just wanted to tell you that that game sucks because it sucks.

A question from Steph at Adventures in Babywearing, she asked

What's the last book you read? What's next on your list?  Then the next day she said "Oh I feel like my original question was so boring now. I'll have to come up with a better one." And she's right, her first question was a little boring, only because I can't remember the last book I read, I think it was My Sister's Keeper.  then she asked:

How about this: Tanning? In the sun? Self-tanning lotion? Spray tan? Tanning bed? Just go white?  I typically go white.  Tanning in a tanning bed bothers me because you know, The Skin Cancer n' all, self tanning lotions are no good because I always end up looking like a tiger with all of the orange stripes, spray tans freak me out and becoming tan from the sun takes me 40 times longer than a normal person.  So, white it is.  Very white.  Bright white.

I will blind you.

Elaine asks a fun question, she writes:

What would you do if you won the lottery (and I mean the BIG ONE!)?

Oh Elaine, first, I would go buy any handbag I wanted, then I would buy 100 pairs of shoes, then I would get a tummy tuck (sorry, I would) and then I would take my kids on a two week long vacation on the beach and then I would buy 1000 acres of land in North Carolina and build homes for my entire family on the land, but we would be far enough away from each other that we would not get on each other's nerves.  Big plans.  Oh and I would buy this camera and sleep with it every night.

I really need to start playing the lottery.

And from Lisa:

Are you going to come and visit Christy in Texas? Man, that would be fun, wouldn't it?  I dream of eating chips and salsa and drinking margaritas with y'all.  (see, I even talk like a Texan.)  And Christy has been teaching me so much photoshop over these last fews day, I need to buy her a gallon of margaritas.  So, the answer is, Yes, I am certain that someday, I will visit Christy in Texas, I'm assuming you would be at Christy's when I am there, right?

What is your favorite restuarant to eat at?  I love to eat at Red Robin with the kids, I love eating at Longhorn or anywhere with $2 draft beer and some of the local places around here.

When you want to feel "girly", what do you do? Put on a bra.  Just kidding.  (or not)  Pedicures, manicures, eyebrow waxing.  The works.  I love shopping for handbags, but I rarely buy them - according to me.  According to Brian, I buy them all of the time.  I honestly never really feel REALLY girly.

Frances asks:

You said that it would be fun to be a photographer.  Have you ever taken any classes to learn all the "proper" techniques?  You know, Frances, I have not.  But I need to.  I have a fear of my little hobby going from fun to work.  But I need to take that step and see.  Brian and I just found a course the other day.  Good question.

from Becky:

What's your favorite part of the day and why?  I love the time of night when the kids go to bed.  It's no offense to my children, it's just that I love sitting in the peace and quiet after a long day of time outs and wiping butts.

That's all for now.  But before you go, answer me this:  Do you have children?  If so, how many?  What's your favorite food (ONLY ONE THING) and do these questions and answers bore you or enlighten you?

And to the person reading this who has never commented, I DO want to hear from you, your comment DOES matter, so de-lurk already, okay?  I promise, commenting IS FUN.

Thanks.  Real much.