Today was a different sort of day. I woke up, sicker than yesterday, but still got the kids fed and we went to the gym. They really loved going, which took a load off of my shoulders. While I was walking on the treadmill, at minute 26, (I wanted to walk hard for 30 minutes) the child care person came to get me to tell meAriel had pooped. Which isn’t a big deal, I just hated the fact that I couldn’t cool down. oh well. I should have shownAriel where the potty was before leaving her, but I’m not used to having a mostly potty trained child, so I forgot. I went back to my treadmill and every single one was taken. Silver Lining? Instead of walking, I worked my arms, did extensive stretching and learned from the trainer how to work my abdominals effectively on a fitness ball.

We came home, the kids ate really well and at 2pm I put them to bed. I was so incredibly tired and didn’t feel well at all. Not too mention that Brian is in Kentucky for a job interview and won’t be back until tomorrow. Silver lining? Brian’s mom offered to come over. I stayed in my room for over 2 hours, sleeping and working on the newsletter. It was perfect.

Noah was showing some “toilet” distress. He is not potty trained, but lately has shown extreme interest in going potty, particulary when he poops. The other day, I bought him his own pull ups. (by the way, Target brand pull-ups are awesome and they are incredibly cheap, and cute!) Anyway, he looked very stressed and was walking around uncomfortably saying “potty, potty.” so, I checked his diaper, to make sure it was clean, pulled his pants down and then removed his diaper. I sat him on the potty, which was already in the living room. He wouldn’t sit on it, he just loves being naked, so he stood up and walked around. I literally ran into his bedroom (15 feet?) to get his pull up and during that “run” I thought “I wonder if he’ll poop on the floor, if he did I bet I would blog about it.” Sure enough. I heard it. Not hard poop hitting the floor, but loose poop dripping on the floor. He’s been on an antibiotic for 6 days day and he always reacts with loose diapers. Anyway, there he stood, pooping on the kitchen floor. He hated it. Immediately he stepped in it and hated that even more. I didn’t know what to do. I ran to get a dish towel, I wet it quickly and cleaned him up as best as possible. All I hear isRacecar crying andAriel in the background saying “Noah pooped in the kitchen. That is so naughty.Racecar, go in the naughty corner. Mama, didRacecar poop in the kitchen? Is he so naughty?” Of course, I tried to explain accidents while cleaning the crap off of the floor, but I don’t think my explanation was very effective. So, I cleaned it up with paper towels and lots of toilet flushes, kitchen cleaner and clorox bleach. And we took a very early bath. All this occurred in the middle of my dinner. Silver lining? It wasn’t on the carpet.

That time of the month for me means time to layout the monthly Friends of Allie Newsletter! So, no blog tonight! I have to say that I kinda dreaded sitting down and doing the newsletter, but once I got started I got all fired up again! It makes me so proud to see what we have done and what we will do. I especially love seeing the list of returning captains. I feel like the current list we have is a list of substance. A list full of people with the same passion as myself, Tracey, Christy, Sara, Tracy, Penny, Lois, Jenn and Lara. (could there be anymore hyperlinks?) I can’t wait to see what we do with 2006.

P.S. I’m now sick.

I started out the day withRacecar waking up nice and early. Yes, they are still sick.Racecar much more so thanAriel. He woke up crying and screaming for Mommy, so I went into his room, this is at 8am, he looked so tired and felt so warm. We sat in our Lazy boy together and he fell back asleep. It was wonderful. One of those moments you love. You miss having your child sleep on you. I often wonder if I’ll ever know when it will happen for the last time. I savor it each time it happens. I think withRacecar, the last time was last June! I putRacecar back to bed and then I did Yoga. I heardAriel waking up, nice and late, while doing Yoga. She, too, looked tired. I asked her what she wanted for breakfast and she said “kitty.” The other day while grocery shopping,Ariel spotted a box of Pop Tarts with Hello Kitty on the front. She loved it! (I had no idea she liked Hello Kitty.) I bought the box for her.Ariel andRacecar ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS eat their meals at the table in their booster seats, but for whatever reason, I said toAriel “do you want to eat in the chair?” She pointed at the kitchen chair and she said excitedly “that one?” I replied “No, this one” while pointing at the Lazy boy. You would never have believed her excitement! I thought, it’s Saturday morning, it just Mommy andAriel, both Daddy andRacecar are in bed, sick and sleeping, why not? She enjoyed it. I’ve attached pictures.Racecar woke up whileAriel was still eating pop tarts on the chair. I allowed him the same luxury. Both the kids, sitting on the furniture, eating pop tarts for breakfast. That’s what I call Mother of the Year! Don’t worry, they both followed up the tarts with a banana.

I tookRacecar’s temp about 45 minutes after he woke up and it was 100.9. He’s truly acting miserable. I can’t wait for this illness to leave our house. He’s been sleeping pretty good, he only wakes up 1 or 2 times per evening. It could be worse. Also, Daddy has an upper respitory infection, all of my babies are sick!

What is this stuff?

Sick kids picture taken last week. I can’t remember why they are touching their noses!

It’s a funny thing about life. If you refuse to settle for anything less than the best, that’s what it will give you.

-W. Somerset Maugham

Years (and years) ago, I read a book titled “Something More,” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It’s a book with a mulititude of different topics, all of which should help a person learn to know and love themselves. It’s really a great book, although, looking back, I definitely feel I was too young to fully understand the complexity and importance of this book. However, in this book, there were two topics that stood out in my mind, one of which I am going to write about in this entry. (the other, perhaps another day.) This particular topic struck a cord with me at that time, because I felt I was living what she was writing about even at the age of 19, that I was doing something right. She wrote about settling. (for those that have the book, page 153.)

Many situations over the years have led me back to the idea of settling. Fortunately for me, I rarely feel I am settling. The idea of settling is this “we do not lose ourselves all at once, we lose ourselves day by day, we settle for loveless marriages, a dead-end job, and someone else’s opinion of our gifts, dreams and what should make us happy. We settle for a passive, rather than a passionate life.” The line “someone else’s opinion of our gifts, dreams and what should make us happy” is a line that makes me think of so many women who are with a man for all of the wrong reasons.

Can you imagine a “relationship” where you settle for not doing things that you want to do, because it’s easier than fighting your mate for it? For example, you don’t cut your hair, because he likes it long, although you’d love to try out short hair, you know he would be mortified and would probably stop talking to you if you ever did that. What about a favorite TV show? Take American Idol, say you LOVE that show, but your mate refuses to watch it, so rather than going to a friends house and visiting family and watching it, you stay and miss out, the problem is that you’re not staying because you’d rather spend time with your boyfriend, you stay because you don’t want to fight. Can you imagine not spending time with your family because he doesn’t want to? I can’t.

Why do women stay with men who truly offer nothing to them at all? I know many woman have a fear of lonliless and it’s that fear that makes them live a life unfilled. I’m not saying men fulfill women, but men, if you have found the right one, will help ignite a woman’s soul. A woman with a supportive, loving man, will freely share her dreams and aspirations with her mate and he will listen and encourage. A woman with a man who only cares about himself, with no aspirations of his own, will laugh and snicker and make fun. Here is a quote in this book I read that explains settling so perfectly, “her lover appeared indifferent or insensitive to ideas and causes of deep importance to her, that her chosen family and friends weren’t comfortable in his company and that he really did nothing to extend himself to them, even though he must have known how it would have pleased her. But she continued to hope-as we all do-that somehow he would change. After all, hadn’t she?”

And she had changed. For someone who didn’t care for her.

My question is this…at what point in our lives are we given that choice of paths to choose from? When I was 16, I started dating an 18 year old. We got along very well and had alot of the same interests. He was not a huge fan of my family, but that did not stop me from attending get togethers, etc. For whatever reason, and I really don’t know why, I had always told myself that I would never stand for any boyfriend of mine to yell vulgarities at me. Well, one night, my boyfriend and I stood in my driveway arguing about something and he yelled “FUCK YOU” to my face. Without a second thought, I turned and walked away and went into my house, I didn’t yell back, I just walked away. I could have reacted a million different ways. But it was at that moment that two things happened, one, he never spoke to me that way again. Two, I never expected anything less, not from myself, not from my boyfriends. I chose the path to stand up for myself and walk away. I didn’t start crying, I didn’t beg him to apologize, I did not scream back. I walked directly into a path that was right for my soul. Not into a path that would damage my soul.

I know I can thank my Mom for giving me my spirit, my knowledge of knowing that I am just as good as anybody else, if not better. (she still tells me I could be a celebrity! LOL!)
How do I do the same for my daughter? How do I make sureAriel lives a passionate life, not a passive life? How do I make sure her husband wants one thing, her happiness? I need to tell her she is good. She is beautiful, she is sacred. And to never settle for anything.

Anna’s nose is a faucet, one that can not be turned off. This poor child has more snot inside her little body than the entire population of Indiana combined. I feel so bad for her. She is a fantastic nose blower, however, about 98% of the time, she blows her nose before the tissue hits her nose, but at least she’s blowing her nose. (98% of the time, seriously translates into 30 times just today) Her nose is red and she loves vaseline on her face, she says “it feels good, mama” after applying the vaseline. When I put a tissue to her nose and she blows it, in between blows she says “this is so tricky.” I have no idea why. Ariel loves to watch me do puzzles on-line. (www.jigzone.com) I don’t do them alot because they make me nauseous, but she frequently asks me to do it. Tonight, I did two puzzles for her, her eyes were watering so badly there was a tear almost to her mouth. Poor girl. Obviously the kids are still sick. They are both still running fevers and yes, I was up withRacecar last night. Soon, the antibiotics will kick in.

American Idol is taking up too much of my time this week. I finally watched last night’s Idol tonight, now I have to watch tonight’s Idol tomorrow and then Thursday’s Idol on Friday. This is craziness. I also have to watch the Figure skating competition from last night and I have to Tivo tomorrow night’s competition-so much to do. Seriously, though….Idol three times a week is just too much for me. I look forward to it tapering down to 2 nights. Actually, I look forward to it ending. I LOVE Idol, don’t get me wrong, but it’s the only show I HAVE to watch every week and that bothers me. Which girl is your favorite? Mine is Katharine McPhee, she’s been mine since the first time I saw her. I’m glad she’s made it this far.

Accordingly to my WW meeting, my weight loss this week was 2.8 lbs. According to their records I have lost 9.8 lbs in 2 weeks. I found myself pretty bummed with this number seeing as how my personal weigh in in the mornings are quite different, but that’s okay. 9.8 lbs is still good. I hope I see a much bigger difference once I start working out more!