It’s amazing how ones appreciation for children grows once you have children. It’s amazing how much larger that appreciation grows when another child dies.

Jacob Duckworth, lost his battle to cancer. One of the most amazing fighters I have ever come across in my life, lost this battle, he was six years old. Just like so many others in the Friends of Allie community I am devestated by this loss of life. I never thought the day would come where we would see his death, to me he was a living, breathing miracle, a beautiful boy so full of life and love.
Jacob’s mother taught me how to have faith no matter what is going on in your life. Faith will get you through. Faith will provide you with answers. Faith will lead you to love. Faith will give you a full life. I have always believed in God, I have always believed in a Higher Power. I go to church. My children are baptized. My children will attend a private, catholic school. But through every mass I have sat through in my life, every book on religion I have read, every catechism class I have attended, nothing as taught me more about religion, God, Faith and the Power of Believing more than Jacob’s Mom, Heather. I hope someday she will figure out what her journaling has done for not just me, but for so many others. My life is changed forever.

-Continuing to FROG, today and forever.

No parent is perfect. Some parents wish their kids would eat healthier foods, but all the child will eat are hot dogs and chips ahoy. Some parents wish their kids would not sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s bed, but they just won’t sleep in their own bed. Some parents wish their kids wouldn’t have temper tantrums everytime they walked in Wal-Mart, so to keep the peace, the buy them something to make them happy. Most of us, before having children thought “that will never happen to me.” or “my child will never act that way.” My kids eat five servings of fruits and vegetables a day, they sleep in their beds at night and during their naps and they’re happy as can be at Wal-Mart. Where is our imperfection? pacifiers.

I’ve always been a believer in pacifiers. (still am) But what I didn’t realize was how hard it was to break your child from them. Just last ThursdayAriel threw hers away. That’s right, my three year old. I feel very guilty that she had her “paci” for so long, but don’t get me wrong, it never left her bed. The pacifiers haven’t left our house in years, it was just a sleeping aid. She wasn’t even allowed to have it in her mouth while in her room, unless she was sleeping. It was a strict, understood rule. We’ve been talking to her since she turned three about getting rid of it, telling her that she’s just too old for it, that paci’s are for babies and that once she got rid of it, we would buy her a bike. (I know, but as my friend Sara says “you have to do what you have to do!”) Plus, this approach was shown on The SuperNanny, so I trusted Jo with this tactic. But it didn’t work. She WANTED a bike and even picked it out, but she was not willing to get rid of it. One night, I put the pacifier on the dresser where she couldn’t see it, and as soon as she got into bed she started looking for it. Throwing the blankets everywhere, stuffed animals were being tossed carelessly and then she started to panic and cry. I said “Anna, let’s just read this story and then we’ll try to find it.” All through the story she continued to sit up and search furiously for the pacifier until she eventually started to cry. Really cry. At this point, one word flashed before my eyes: ADDICTION. And another word: GUILT. She was feeling this NEED to have her pacifier because it brought her COMFORT and taking it away was taking away all nighttime securities. It broke my heart knowing we just had to get rid of it.

Recently, she threw it away, twice in fact, but then she retrieved it from the trash. This past Thursday, she threw it away and I knew that that was it. Not because she wanted it gone, but because I did. I dug it deep into the trash, just about before naptime. I told her that if she took a nap without it, we would go buy her bike and she could call everybody and tell them what she did! We even called her Aunt Amy before her nap to tell her that she threw it away and that she was going sleep without it and then after her nap “we were going to go buy her bike, her princess helmet, a bathing suit and her Dora Sprinkler.: uhh….this girl knows how to work the system, don’t you think? Nap time came, she laid in bed and she went ballistic. Terrible, crying, no comforting. Only one thing could comfort her (and me) and that was her pacifier. But it was time for her to learn to comfort herself and I knew I would help her. So, tonight is her third night without it, we’ve had difficult naps, and difficult bedtimes, but once she finally falls asleep, she has been sleepinf until almost 9am. We like that. She’s a big girl and we are so proud.
P.S. She got her Dora bike, her Dora sprinker and her princess helmet. (she has enough bathing suits)

Tonight, Brian and I went on a date. Thanks to my wonderful, beautiful 17 year old neice for being so willing to babysit! We went to the mall, the Olive Garden–and used a gift card that was a gift this past week from an amazing person, and then we went to see “The Break-Up.’
Part of my gift for Mother’s Day was a gift card for Victoria’s Secret. See, with my new size, things are shrinking, not just da boobs, but my bootie as well! (my post sure made a turn in subject, didn’t it?) So, I love nothing more then a good bra and Victoria’s Secret underwear, my favorite. Here is how our date went: stopped at the theatre and bought the tickets, thank goodness, because the line was so long, put our names in at the Olive Garden, 40-45 minutes wait and then we went across the parking lot to the mall and literally ran into the mall. We got to Victoria’s Secret and realized we should have left our “table caller” from the Olive Garden in the car, because when it gets out of range….it’s plays loud music. That was so irritating. Anyway, I was measured and I did need a cup size smaller, which is just fine with me! Finally, after much searching, I found a bra that I loved! I tried it on and it was fantastic! I can’t wait to wear it tomorrow! I picked out my smaller underwear and then headed out the door with my music playing purse!
We went to the Olive Garden and still had about 20 minutes to wait, so we enjoyed a drink at the bar, (I got carded!) and then our waitress came, took our order and brought us our salad and breadsticks! YUM! We mentioned to her that we were kinda in a hurry as our movie was starting in 45 minutes, well, halfway into my first breadstick, our food arrived. No lie. I wasn’t too happy with the warp-speed delivery of the food, but in the end it was for the best We had a great dinner, with great food and great wine. (beer for Brian) And off to the movie! Brian and I haven’t seen a movie in over four years. We think the last one we saw was The Sixth Sense. The theatre we went to was beautiful, with huge, comfortable seats and arm rests that would go up and down, making it easy to snuggle. (where were those when we were dating!?!? Hello!!??) It was a very funny movie. I recommend it. But I wouldn’t blame you for waiting to see it on DVD. I know sometimes I am cheap, but $17 for two people to see a movie?!?! Do they know how much a DVD cost? It was worth it this time, but next time…maybe we’ll go bowling or something!
Anyway, I didn’t mean to throw up on you, all this blog at once, but I just had some stuff to share, I’ve been wanting to blog, but this week any windows for blogging were closed because other things needed to be done!!
As usual, I leave you with pictures!

Before our date!

Anna with her princess helmet, standing on her bike box.

Oh, did I mention we boughtRacecar a vehicular treat, as well? How could we not? He LOVES it!
This morning I woke up at 9:36 am (!!!!) to find Brian making pancakes! Here isRacecar enjoying his yummy treat!
Fun bike, first thing in the morning.
This is the only good picture I have ofAriel on her bike. What’s up with that? But look atRacecar, he’s so cute!

Please join me in praying for Jacob. Jacob is a triplet, who lives in Florida who is fighting the battle of his life. He has come close to death before and pulled through, the doctors even call him a miracle. They received this miracle through our prayers. Please visit their website and sign their guestbook to show Jacob and his family that we are ALL praying for him.

In the words of Jacob’s mom, just keeping frog’ging!
Fully
Rely
On
God

I don’t want to jinx myself, but we have been having the BEST weather here. Currently, the skies are clear, the moon is shining and it’s seventy-two degrees. If the weather was always like this, I’d be the happiest girl alive. (Ibelieve me, I’m almost there, just good weather all the time would definitely get me there!) Multiple times tonight when I was outside, I thought this weather could not be better. The slightest of breezes exists and there are lightning bugs flying around. Summer is here! I was outside setting up my sprinkler tonight when a lightning bug landed on my arm, I let him sit there and then things just got creepy so I asked him to leave. (okay, I made him leave.)

It made me realize that with all that is going on, everything is going to be okay. This too shall pass. Enjoy these moments that make up life. Enjoy your family. Your friendships. Your love. and tonight, enjoy the outdoors. It’s time to simplify. It’s time to rejoice in all that is good. It’s time to get rid of all that is negative. simplify.

I’m in a much better place than I was yesterday and I am grateful for that. For those that helped me yesterday. THANKS.

I know some of you do not know what is going on, I can assure you that everything is great with myself and my family. It’s just something personal that has to do with something that I am involved in. I want to remain professional and not share the details. I’m sure you all understand.

Please take a moment to visit Noelle and her family. They need prayers right now.

Thanks for visiting.

I have herpes. I’m not afraid to admit it. I’ve been dealing with alot of stress as of late, in fact, so much stress that I’m not sure I’ve ever felt such stress before. The herpes began around Thursday and has grown since Friday when the stress began. When I say herpes, I mean canker sores. Two canker sores on the inside of my bottom lip. One is the size of Rhode Island, the other is the size of Texas. One is bigger than the other, but they both hurt like a son of a bitch.

So, I’ve learned a few things about my body and how it reacts when under extreme stress:

• I get canker sores and they will not improve
• I sleep terribly
• I dream about the issues at hand
• I lose all sense of hunger, which was nice considering I ate more this weekend, while I away, than I have since joining WW on February 8th. Putting me right on track.
• I shake.
• I cry.
• I get hot and turn red. (my friends of family know about the red thing)

So, yesterday I spent my day in a tired stupor from not sleeping, while shaking, crying, hot, red and with a mouth full of canker sores. Sounds attractive, doesn’t it?

“I guess so.” That’s whatAriel says now for no reason whatsoever. “I guess so, Mom.” It’s very cute. She also has discovered what an accident is. You know, when she puts her banana in her orange juice at breakfast she says “it was an axcellent, Mom.” How does she know that when she says it’s an accident, I’m not supposed to become angry?

We had a great weekend away. It went really quickly, but it was incredibly productive. You know you’re in good company when the people you’re with always like to eat the same things you want to eat, there are frequent trips to Target and to ice cream parlors and the evenings are spent watching Oprah. yee haw…that’s what I call a good weekend.

I leave you with a picture that Brian took of my babies while I was away and a picture ofAriel and I just before I left on Friday. By the way, Brian is the best father and husband ever. Through all of this stress, he has been an amazing shoulder and a fantastic ear. I’m so lucky. Brian had a great weekend with the kids, I just know they all had fun, I can tell.