Hammer has a blog.

Supposedly, if you have a sour stomach after a night of heavy drinking, you are supposed to eat copious amount of grease. I’m not sure why, I will not question the theory, I shall only following directions. Brian is on his way home with 2 breakfast burritos from McDonald’s right now. Brian got his haircut this morning with my new hairstylist, I schedule the appointment last Friday. What was I thinking scheduling his haircut after a night of my drinking? I’m a fool. Surprisingly, I am feeling OKAY. Just okay. Sleep was a little rough, in particular when I laid down on the bed and laid on my side and the bed started spinning and jumping all throughout the bedroom. I then laid on my back and covered my eyes with my arm.

Here is what I know about last night:

• Our dinner was delicious, but our waitress was not. She forgot to bring me more bread and our dessert menu.
• We first walked into a bar that I had been to in the past. When I was there before, it was filled with younger people and was lively and smokey. When we (three girls in their upper 20′s) walked in last night, a line of mullets sitting casually with a smoke in one hand and a rum and coke in the other, all turned their mullets towards us, simultaneously. It was unnerving and scary and smokey. And we left.
• We found, after walking and then driving, another bar and it rocked my world.
• I know I played the air drums too much.
• I know I danced to people like Nelly, (the guys with the perpetual cut on his face, poor guy), Ying Yang, Eminem and Nate Dogg singing about asses, of course, and I also danced to Twisted Sister, Stevie Wonder, John Mellencamp and Prince. Ah…Prince, you rock my world. Just ask the guys in the booth behind me.
• When I say danced, I mean sitting in the booth dancing….playing my air drums.
• I met Tequila Rose shots. Twice. They taste like Strawberry Milkshakes. They cost more than my shoes.
• I learned that you can give your credit card to your booby waitress and they will keep a tab open for you. They’re so nice!
• I know I drank alot of beer. I know I thought it was the schiznit. It was like drinking ice water.
• I learned that one of the girls I was with is freakishly strong and can do the running man…sober.
• I know the other girl likes country. There was a song about a redneck girl and it was awful and you had to yell “hell ya.” Not Cute.
• The other thing I know….too many pictures were taken.

My eyes are burning, contacts irritate me. Sometimes I feel like my eyes are flat and my contoured contacts are trying to grab onto them. It’s irritating. I have a headache. and it’s so hot outside I want to vomit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a good mood, I just wanted to get the bitching out of the way. ah… I feel better.

At 10:48am today, I was in my mini-van, driving away from home by myself, thanks to my MIL. I had a great time, but I spent too much money. I’m thinking about divorcing Target. I think I’m going to go 1 month without going there to see if I actually have more money in my checking account, I think I will. I hope Brian doesn’t read this, he may hold me to it. (he knows just how addicted I am to that stupid store. God, I love it.) I came back home at 2pm. Over 3 solid hours of solitude. I went to Old Navy, DSW, Office Max (to return my easel, LMAO!), Pier One, Value City Furniture, Taco Bell and Target. I need coffee.

And I can’t stop eating EL Fudge sandwich cookies…………..