Gosh, that comes across so harsh, doesn’t it?  And I don’t mean men are stupid as in they’re dumb.  I just mean, they’re stupid that sometimes they just don’t think.  At all.  hmmm…still harsh.  Okay, let me try to word this better.  Women are superior?   Yes, yes, now I’m on to something.  Women are rockin’?  Good.  Getting warmer.  I GOT IT!  Men are stupid.  BINGO.

If you’ve been reading my BLAWG for a long time, you should know that I never bash my husband publicly.  Because he is a great husband.  He empties the dishwasher every night, he gives the kids a bath three times a week, he shows affection for me and his children, he even brings me flowers "for no reason."  BUT, that doesn’t mean my entry title isn’t true, because, it is.  And when I told him what my entry title was going to be he replied with a chuckle and thought it was funny.  Either he wasn’t listening, (SURPRISE SURPRISE) or he’s just stupid, in a cute sorta way.

A few things have occurred lately that lead me to believe my blog title is true. 

I’ll fill you in.

Last Saturday, as in 9 days ago, I drove his car to do some shopping and I used his coffee mug.  When I got home, I had my arms full of purchases from Kohl’s, Target, Panera, a hot coffee and a purchase from a local children’s consignment shop.  Oh…I also grabbed the newspaper and the mail.  My hands and arms were full.

I did not bring in the coffee mug.

Last Tuesday, 3 days after wards, before he left for work, he asked where is coffee mug was.  I told him probably in his car.  He acted all indignant and abrupt that I had left his coffee mug in his car.  And I was like, "didn’t you drive your car yesterday?  Did ya notice the bright blue coffee mug on the seat beside you?"  No response. 

Which leads me to this morning.  Brian had to work in a suburb north of Chicago, A.K.A. a drive to hell.  I had just made coffee and without even looking in the coffee cabinet he says "Do you know where my coffee mug is?"  uh…unless I took it out of your car, apparently it’s still in YOUR car, where it’s been since before our last conversation about your coffee mug."  To which he replies "I don’t remember having a conversation about my coffee mug last week."  Right.  Play the Memory Card.  After that, play the Confused Card.  And if all else fails, play the Not Enough Sex Card.  Those cards always work out so well for you.  (by the way, he still has no recollection of said conversation and wants me to tell all of you that the mug was ALL THE WAY in the back seat of the 4 door vehicle.  But he does give me full permission to make fun of him for forgetting said conversation.)

The thing about this story is that it’s not about the coffee mug or about someone being right or wrong.  It’s that I KNOW he knew where the coffee mug was.  His point was to show me that I, too, can be irresponsible and forgetful.  Which is fine, I’ll accept that little lesson last Tuesday.  But today?  It’s just stupid.  And maybe I was irresponsible or forgetful but let’s compare that to the time when he forgot to call all night long because he was so drunk.  And I didn’t even know he was going out in the first place.    good times.

Another scenario for you.  Remember our cordless phone fiasco last week at Office Max?  Remember I said the phones didn’t work very well?  Well, we returned them.  Brian went into the store while the kids and I waited in the car.  He was going to exchange it for a different phone that we had liked when we were there.  My cell phone rings and not surprisingly, it was Brian calling from inside the store.  He said the other phone was now out of stock, but "here’s another brand, with the same features for the same price."  I replied with "Fine.  But does it have speaker phone?"  (the one thing I wanted on our new phones.)  He said yes.  He get back in the car, he hands me the phone box and the receipts.  We start driving and I’m checking out the new phone.  As we are heading onto the interstate I say "this phone does not have speaker phone."  He just assumed it had speaker phone because of the speaker holes on the answering machine, he never actually read or made sure there was speaker phone.

I went to Target the next morning and bought a phone.  With speaker phone.

Now, friends, my point is not to male bash, although, it has been fun while it’s lasted.  I have never been the type to stereotype men because I know all men are different.  But lately, my cup runneth over and sometimes, I just need to vent.  But mostly, I need to laugh.  I need to laugh at these moments that occur because these are the moments that make up a marriage. 

This past Friday, I tried to move around our DVD player and VCR and electronic crap, but once I pulled out all of the colorful wires out of the components I had no idea what went where and who was who.  (why are there so many holes??)  So, I left it.

Like this.  And Brian came home from a hard day of computer speak and grunting and walked in and saw the mess and actually laughed and jokingly said "did you have some trouble?"  And he squatted and fixed it in an impressive 37 seconds.  He never got mad or irritated and he never called me stupid.  He just laughed.

I think I’ll try that next time.

P.S.  For those that may be wondering, Brian actually reads every entry that has to do with him and our relationship before I hit the publish button.  There are some posts that you will never see.  Unless he goes out, gets drunk and forgets to call again.