Oh My Lands. (do people really say that?) I am stuffed to the gill. (do people really say that?) Tonight we ordered pizza, some of my favorite pizza and I could not stop eating it. Afterwards, I was trying to mop my kitchen while rolling around and well…it was tough considering I thought my stomach was going to rip open and pizza would come flying out like a volcano eruption. It’s not comfortable, it’s stupid and I wish I wouldn’t do it, but pizza is so good.
While cleaning and popping rolaids, I was thinking that pizza boxes should have warning labels on them like cigarettes do, it would read like this:
-The Surgeon General warns that pizza is freakin’ good. Even reheated.
-The Surgeon General warns that if you like cheese or bread to stay away.
-The Surgeon General warns that if you like garlic to stay away.
-The Surgeon General warns that if you like to eat, do not, he repeats, do not eat this pizza.
-The Surgeon General warns that you may not move after eating.
-The Surgeon General warns that you will not eat just one two three pieces half of the pizza.
-The Surgeon General warns that even after eating half of the pizza, you will continue to eat the pizza.
-The Surgeon General warns if you are on your period or pregnant or a woman, to just stay away from the crap.
-The Surgeon General warns that if your husband takes the last piece without asking when you wanted it (even though you were not hungry at all) he may die or at least lose a finger.
-The Surgeon General warns that just because you only have one ginormous slice on your plate, that does not count as one serving, you idiot.
-The Surgeon General warns that you do not need two pizzas for two adults and two toddlers, you big fat pigs.
-The Surgeon General warns that you will have gas. But he knows you won’t care.
-The Surgeon General warns that if you have garlic sauce and/or cheese sauce that comes with your pizza, that you will search for anyone’s leftover crust so you can dip it in the sauce. You know it’s true.
-The Surgeon General warns that if you can’t find someone’s leftover crust, you will eat another slice just to have the crust to dip in the garlic sauce. You know that’s true. too.
-The Surgeon General warns it will cause you to walk around with your pants unbuttoned. Even in public.
-The Surgeon General warns that even after reading this label, you will still stuff yourself silly.
Don’t even get me started on chocolate.
Read this to my hubby. He enjoyed it as much as I did. We both laughed heartily.
Read this to my hubby. He enjoyed it as much as I did. We both laughed heartily.
LOL! That is so me. I used to be able to eat an ENTIRE pizza by myself until I was about 25. Then people started looking at me funny so I cut back to 3/4 and now I’m down to 1/2. But my husband is still amazed at how much pizza I can pack away. It’s like a form of crack for me.
LOL! That is so me. I used to be able to eat an ENTIRE pizza by myself until I was about 25. Then people started looking at me funny so I cut back to 3/4 and now I’m down to 1/2. But my husband is still amazed at how much pizza I can pack away. It’s like a form of crack for me.
LOL Me too! What’s even worse is that I was feeling this way yesterday after eating pizza last night for dinner…UGH!
LOL Me too! What’s even worse is that I was feeling this way yesterday after eating pizza last night for dinner…UGH!
LMAO!!!!!!! Oh my side hurts. That is SO TRUE.
LMAO!!!!!!! Oh my side hurts. That is SO TRUE.
LOL! You hit the nail on the head with this one. I have absolutely no control when it comes to pizza. Sometimes I’ll even order an extra one with only stuff that I like so nobody else will touch it! Isn’t that terrible???
LOL! You hit the nail on the head with this one. I have absolutely no control when it comes to pizza. Sometimes I’ll even order an extra one with only stuff that I like so nobody else will touch it! Isn’t that terrible???
I love pizza, my absolute favorite food…and we moved to a town that has NO good pizza, none, which sucks. I hope you’re feeling better today
I’m curious if this is Gelsosomo’s pizza? If not, than what’s your favorite up there? I’ve always heard of Gelsosomo’s, but have never had it.
I love pizza, my absolute favorite food…and we moved to a town that has NO good pizza, none, which sucks. I hope you’re feeling better today
I’m curious if this is Gelsosomo’s pizza? If not, than what’s your favorite up there? I’ve always heard of Gelsosomo’s, but have never had it.
How many signatures do we need on the petition to get warnings on the boxes? I can (and usually do) eat a large pizza by myself. I feel like I should have the pizza guy park across the street and use the back door!!!
How many signatures do we need on the petition to get warnings on the boxes? I can (and usually do) eat a large pizza by myself. I feel like I should have the pizza guy park across the street and use the back door!!!
I’m sorry. Were you looking in my windows last night? Because this post could have been about me…except the mopping the floors part.
Dude, ate so much I thought I would puke. So I ate some ice cream to settle my stomach! I do believe that I will have to pay at my weigh in tomorrow…
I’m sorry. Were you looking in my windows last night? Because this post could have been about me…except the mopping the floors part.
Dude, ate so much I thought I would puke. So I ate some ice cream to settle my stomach! I do believe that I will have to pay at my weigh in tomorrow…
LOL!! That’s too funny! There are definitely “certain” brands of pizza that will cause me to go into pizza gluttony! I LOVE the SG warnings!
LOL!! That’s too funny! There are definitely “certain” brands of pizza that will cause me to go into pizza gluttony! I LOVE the SG warnings!
You are hilarious – especially how true it is to go searching for someone’s crust just to be able to dip it in the sauce.
You are hilarious – especially how true it is to go searching for someone’s crust just to be able to dip it in the sauce.
LOL… I am so sorry you were hurting, but MAN do I relate to this post!!
I LOVE pizza. 
LOL… I am so sorry you were hurting, but MAN do I relate to this post!!
I LOVE pizza. 
Holy Cow- look at all the LOL’s in your comments. I feel LOL pressure here… What’s up with my snarky self? ANYWAY… you have got me totally starving for pizza now. Thanks a lot!
P.S. tonight I went in to 7-11 and there is a sign on the outside stating warning about saccharine and that they sell products that may contain saccharine. Have you seen this?!
Steph
Holy Cow- look at all the LOL’s in your comments. I feel LOL pressure here… What’s up with my snarky self? ANYWAY… you have got me totally starving for pizza now. Thanks a lot!
P.S. tonight I went in to 7-11 and there is a sign on the outside stating warning about saccharine and that they sell products that may contain saccharine. Have you seen this?!
Steph
I am very familiar with the pizza eating button poping pig outs.
I feel your pain.
I am very familiar with the pizza eating button poping pig outs.
I feel your pain.
I am very familiar with the pizza eating button poping pig outs.
I feel your pain.
I am very familiar with the pizza eating button poping pig outs.
I feel your pain.
I am very familiar with the pizza eating button poping pig outs.
I feel your pain.
I am very familiar with the pizza eating button poping pig outs.
I feel your pain.
Yep, I feel your pain. LOL, LOL. There, I said it LOL. ha ha
Well, I stuffed myself with a ginormous cheeseburger and fatty fries this afternoon and now, my bowels are screaming out “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS” and I can assure you, I am! I have almost emptied my tums bottle and like Thea, I am thinking of trying to soothe my stomach with some blue bell light ice cream (cause I’m watching my weight don’tcha know) with some caramel sauce and a banana (cause I’m healthy like that)…but I’m afraid my neighborhood can’t take the gas explosions likely to occur if I did so.
Yep, I feel your pain. LOL, LOL. There, I said it LOL. ha ha
Well, I stuffed myself with a ginormous cheeseburger and fatty fries this afternoon and now, my bowels are screaming out “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS” and I can assure you, I am! I have almost emptied my tums bottle and like Thea, I am thinking of trying to soothe my stomach with some blue bell light ice cream (cause I’m watching my weight don’tcha know) with some caramel sauce and a banana (cause I’m healthy like that)…but I’m afraid my neighborhood can’t take the gas explosions likely to occur if I did so.
I love Pizza Hut thin crust pepperoni lovers oh yummie!! I believe I can eat the whole thing!! then of course like you i am so stuffed and beat myself up for doing it. will we ever learn?!!
also I am tagging you for blogging tips Meme:)
hope you do not mind
I love Pizza Hut thin crust pepperoni lovers oh yummie!! I believe I can eat the whole thing!! then of course like you i am so stuffed and beat myself up for doing it. will we ever learn?!!
also I am tagging you for blogging tips Meme:)
hope you do not mind
ok, all you did was just make me HUNGRY FOR PIZZA. It is definitely my favorite food, as un-cosmopolitan as that sounds. (oooo! i had bezbeaux’s (sp?) for the first time this week – OFF.THE.HOOK.)
One more warning: Pizza is freakin’ good, even for breakfast.
ok, all you did was just make me HUNGRY FOR PIZZA. It is definitely my favorite food, as un-cosmopolitan as that sounds. (oooo! i had bezbeaux’s (sp?) for the first time this week – OFF.THE.HOOK.)
One more warning: Pizza is freakin’ good, even for breakfast.
You’re killing me. How’d you know I’m craving a Pizza? LOL
You’re killing me. How’d you know I’m craving a Pizza? LOL
I HATE THAT.
I HATE THAT.
LOL! I laughed so hard I cried. My hubby thought it was funny too since he also believes that pizza is the world’s most perfect food!
LOL! I laughed so hard I cried. My hubby thought it was funny too since he also believes that pizza is the world’s most perfect food!
LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!
This right here says it all for me lately:
“The Surgeon General warns if you are on your period or pregnant or a woman, to just stay away from the crap.”
Hysterical girl!!
LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!
This right here says it all for me lately:
“The Surgeon General warns if you are on your period or pregnant or a woman, to just stay away from the crap.”
Hysterical girl!!