I’m not talking about those cute little chocolate covered malted balls, I’m talking about the flame broiled sandwich, the big kahuna, "the original," you know the one.  It’s delicious.

But because it’s something to the tune of over 1000 calories with a medium fry, I tend to steer clear of such a thing. 

With my last pregnancy four years ago, I honestly did not care what I ate.  Because I ate everything – Little Debbies?  You bet.  Tons of pizza?  Sign me up.  Pop tarts every morning?  S’mores, please.  Whoppers with onion rings?  Bring it on.  After that pregnancy I weighed in at 222 pounds and decided to attempt to lose the weight.  After many attempts I successfully lost the weight and kept it off and I always felt great about it.  I learned the right way to eat, I learned how not to stuff myself and most importantly, I never touched a whopper again.

Until.

Yesterday afternoon I had a strange sensation in my body.  It tasted a little like a grilled burger with cheese, perhaps with mayo and ketchup and I realized something very important.  I needed a Whopper.  Now, I’m not one to have Brian jump into the car to feed my cravings, if I were, he would have been at Arby’s the night before at approximately 11 p.m.  But instead, I went to bed, starving and dreaming of roast beef and ketchup. 

But this Whopper thing that was occurring was very strong, probably because it fell right before dinner time and it didn’t help my cause that if I did partake in a little Whopper awesomeness it would mean not having to cook dinner OR clean it up. 

I shared my Whopper thoughts with Brian and he, being the smart guy that he is, said he would go get a Whopper.  (he knew they were on sale 2 for $3, he ain’t no fool.)  BUT, he wouldn’t leave, he kept working on work and I had to eat because I was Starving with a capital S.  So, I took it all as a sign from the health Gods that I should just make dinner.  Yes, I would make spaghetti.  I love spaghetti, it’s delicious and a cup of spaghetti with sauce is approximately 300 calories.  The water began to boil when Brian jumped up declaring that he was leaving for Burger King.  I told him that I was going to make dinner.  "see the water boiling?  The sauce pan on the stove?  I’m making dinner."  To which he replied, "but I was going to get you a Whopper."

I argued back "BUT…okay."

and off he went.

and he came home and I believe I ate the sandwich in 14 seconds, but I don’t really recall and I believe it was awesome, but it was such a blur.  Throughout this pregnancy I have been avoiding onions (which I
typically love) because they just leave a terrible taste in my mouth
and they upset my stomach, but last night, I caved and ate the onions, too.

That was a whopper of a mistake.  (oh, please, you knew it was coming)

What isn’t a blur was thirty minutes after that when the Whopper hit my digestive tract with a giant thud and sat there.  For literally hours, making me feel full and sick all night long.  I cursed the Whopper and swore I would never have another for as long as I live.

This morning I do feel better, I still feel full from the flame broiled goodness.  Maybe it was the flame broiled patty, or the mayonnaise or the onions, whatever it was, I will not be indulging in one of those for a very, very long time.

or at least for today.