Dear James and Jake –
It’s been two weeks since I delivered you. I just wanted to tell you how much I miss having you inside of me. I miss eating for three. I miss waiting for your movements. I miss writing about how excited I was to have been blessed to have you.
I love how big I was with you, even though something as simple as sleeping was becoming increasingly difficult, I knew it meant that each day you were both becoming bigger and healthier.
I loved how when I became pregnant, I wondered how I would give up my coffee addiction, and you took care of that by making the smell make me sick.
I loved talking about you and telling the story about how we found out you were twins. I loved telling strangers that you were twins when they asked when the baby was due. I loved daydreaming about carrying two identical twins boys around in their car seats, to church, to the grocery store, to family get-togethers.
I loved picturing you two sleeping together in your crib, bringing each other peace and security. I loved thinking about having your pictures taken throughout your life with your identical twin uncles.
I loved daydreaming about the moment your older sister and your older brother saw you for the first time. I loved knowing that soon they would not even remember their lives without you in it. I loved knowing they would love you so much and you would be close and grow old together as siblings, as friends.
I loved imagining your Daddy holding you, one in each strong arm of his, seeing his pride and love for each of you.
I loved you, from the minute I learned of you and I will love you forever, with every part of my heart and soul.
I miss you.
And even though this pain is so deep and raw and as the tears steam down my face, I can say that I am so glad you are our babies. I’m glad that I was yours to provide you with a warm place to grow and to give you the nutrients you needed, if even for a little while. You will be ours forever and we will never, ever forget you and the joy you brought into our lives.
I have always believed that children choose their parents, I’ve thought this even before having my own children, it brings me comfort knowing you chose us, thank you for choosing us.
James and Jake, I hope you know how special you are.
I love you.
Love,
Your Mommy
Oh my goodness. May you always find comfort in those precious memories and wishes for your boys. Your daydreams and imaginations were more than just untangible thoughts. They are real. I can feel it.
Steph
Oh my goodness. May you always find comfort in those precious memories and wishes for your boys. Your daydreams and imaginations were more than just untangible thoughts. They are real. I can feel it.
Steph
Oh, honey. What a beautiful letter. I believe our children choose us too and I know James and Jake chose you and Brian because there were no other two people in this big world of ours who could have loved them and nurtured them more. I am praying for you today and everyday.
Love,
T-Money
Oh, honey. What a beautiful letter. I believe our children choose us too and I know James and Jake chose you and Brian because there were no other two people in this big world of ours who could have loved them and nurtured them more. I am praying for you today and everyday.
Love,
T-Money
I have been a lurker from Southern Indiana and have only posted one comment on your blog….about the sock tied around Ariel’s leg.
I too, come from a large family…2 brothers and 1 sister and I too, have lost a child…August 21st, 2006, my 16 year old son Blake. I blog to him on his obituary page and I wanted to tell you that your writings feel so much like mine. There is no pain even remotely comparable to losing a child, none whatsoever. I wish I had some words of advice, but I can only tell you that I know your pain. There is a support group that you may find helpful when you are ready, The Compassionate Friends. I have just now found myself ready to go. Please feel free to email me should you want to talk. A quote by Helen Keller that I read several times a day….The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
Our children will forever be carried in our hearts, every painful beat of them.
I am praying for you.
Kristi
I have been a lurker from Southern Indiana and have only posted one comment on your blog….about the sock tied around Ariel’s leg.
I too, come from a large family…2 brothers and 1 sister and I too, have lost a child…August 21st, 2006, my 16 year old son Blake. I blog to him on his obituary page and I wanted to tell you that your writings feel so much like mine. There is no pain even remotely comparable to losing a child, none whatsoever. I wish I had some words of advice, but I can only tell you that I know your pain. There is a support group that you may find helpful when you are ready, The Compassionate Friends. I have just now found myself ready to go. Please feel free to email me should you want to talk. A quote by Helen Keller that I read several times a day….The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
Our children will forever be carried in our hearts, every painful beat of them.
I am praying for you.
Kristi
Your posts are all so incredibly moving. I always knew you were a wonderful mother, but now I feel like I’m peeking into your heart and really understanding your amazing love for your children. It’s abundantly clear that Ariel, Racecar, James & Jake all choose wisely.
You, Brian, and your 4 beautiful children are all blessed to have one another.
Love,
Sarah
Your posts are all so incredibly moving. I always knew you were a wonderful mother, but now I feel like I’m peeking into your heart and really understanding your amazing love for your children. It’s abundantly clear that Ariel, Racecar, James & Jake all choose wisely.
You, Brian, and your 4 beautiful children are all blessed to have one another.
Love,
Sarah
Beth,
That was a beautiful letter to your boys.
I pray you find peace and that time will start to heal you and your families broken hearts.
God bless you and your family,
Amy
Beth,
That was a beautiful letter to your boys.
I pray you find peace and that time will start to heal you and your families broken hearts.
God bless you and your family,
Amy
Just last night I was thinking to myself I wish there was a way to tell you to write a letter to your boys. Then this morning I came on and here is this beautiful letter, just as I had imagined. I hope it helps your healing. It warmed my heart as I know they have yours…FOREVER! Don’t forget they chose you and God chose them. They are truly blessed. I wish you and your family continued love, strength, and hope. God Bless.
Just last night I was thinking to myself I wish there was a way to tell you to write a letter to your boys. Then this morning I came on and here is this beautiful letter, just as I had imagined. I hope it helps your healing. It warmed my heart as I know they have yours…FOREVER! Don’t forget they chose you and God chose them. They are truly blessed. I wish you and your family continued love, strength, and hope. God Bless.
What a beautiful letter to your babies. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that you are experiencing right now, but I pray that God will give you the strength to carry on and that He will comfort you in the coming days.
God bless,
Angela
What a beautiful letter to your babies. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that you are experiencing right now, but I pray that God will give you the strength to carry on and that He will comfort you in the coming days.
God bless,
Angela
Beth,
Beautiful.
James and Jake did chose wisely, two very loving parents and one beautiful, adoring mommy. They will be with you always.
You, the boys and your family are always in my thoughts.
xoxo
~CE
Beth,
Beautiful.
James and Jake did chose wisely, two very loving parents and one beautiful, adoring mommy. They will be with you always.
You, the boys and your family are always in my thoughts.
xoxo
~CE
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
I can almost hear your boys saying (yes, I can be just imagining, but I can feel this is what they’re going to say…): “Thank you mom – we love you too. We know you love us – we could feel it right there in that warm belly of yours. We will see each other again mom.. we will…”.
That letter is so beautiful Beth …
I can almost hear your boys saying (yes, I can be just imagining, but I can feel this is what they’re going to say…): “Thank you mom – we love you too. We know you love us – we could feel it right there in that warm belly of yours. We will see each other again mom.. we will…”.
That letter is so beautiful Beth …
What a beautiful letter.
My prayers are still with you.
What a beautiful letter.
My prayers are still with you.
That was beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
That was beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
Is it OK to say that I’m crying with you?
Is it OK to say that I’m crying with you?
That is so beautiful. I am crying with you. For you.
That is so beautiful. I am crying with you. For you.
Dear Beth,
James & Jake know, and will always know, the warmth, happiness, joy, tenderness, security, kindness, and the most extraordinary love of their Mommy. Yes, James & Jake did choose you, and you will carry their warmth, happiness, joy, tenderness, security, kindness and extraordinary love forever and ever. Whenever their names are mentioned, the universe will see and feel beauty… because of you.
Your letter to James & Jake is the most exquisite tribute to your baby boys. Your letter is a poem…
Much love,
Sharon, Audrey & Jane
Dear Beth,
James & Jake know, and will always know, the warmth, happiness, joy, tenderness, security, kindness, and the most extraordinary love of their Mommy. Yes, James & Jake did choose you, and you will carry their warmth, happiness, joy, tenderness, security, kindness and extraordinary love forever and ever. Whenever their names are mentioned, the universe will see and feel beauty… because of you.
Your letter to James & Jake is the most exquisite tribute to your baby boys. Your letter is a poem…
Much love,
Sharon, Audrey & Jane
Sweet Beth, that was a beautiful letter. I don’t know exactly what heaven will be like or what we will look like in heaven, but I do know you will get to spend eternity with those precious boys.
Sweet Beth, that was a beautiful letter. I don’t know exactly what heaven will be like or what we will look like in heaven, but I do know you will get to spend eternity with those precious boys.
I miss them too. I think this letter was a wonderful idea – and I imagine you will write more to them as time goes by. Hope you are having some easier moments this week. Still praying and thinking of you…
I miss them too. I think this letter was a wonderful idea – and I imagine you will write more to them as time goes by. Hope you are having some easier moments this week. Still praying and thinking of you…
I am aching and crying for you and with you. What a wonderful letter and tribute. You are such an amazing person Beth, truly you are.
I am aching and crying for you and with you. What a wonderful letter and tribute. You are such an amazing person Beth, truly you are.
you are in my thoughts and prayers
what a nice letter
love, michelle
you are in my thoughts and prayers
what a nice letter
love, michelle
What a beautiful letter. I have tears streaming down my face and I’m still praying for you.
What a beautiful letter. I have tears streaming down my face and I’m still praying for you.
I have been out of town and out of the loop for a few days, but you have remained in my thoughts and prayers. This letter is a beautiful tribute to your lovely boys.
I have been out of town and out of the loop for a few days, but you have remained in my thoughts and prayers. This letter is a beautiful tribute to your lovely boys.
Beth, That is a beautiful letter to your boys. I feel that I read something very intimate between you and your children that I shouldn’t have. Thank you for sharing it on your blog. I hope peace finds you.
Beth, That is a beautiful letter to your boys. I feel that I read something very intimate between you and your children that I shouldn’t have. Thank you for sharing it on your blog. I hope peace finds you.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Peace be with you.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Peace be with you.
Absolutely beautiful. ((Hugs))
Absolutely beautiful. ((Hugs))
What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful boys. Continued prayers…
What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful boys. Continued prayers…