Sunday, April 27th, 2008 was The Perfect Day.
I woke up and checked our team fundraising site and we had hit our huge goal of $10,000. Brian and I quickly got ready, we woke the kids, we ate breakfast in the car, we pulled into the March of Babies parking lot. (by the way, today Team James & Jake is at $10,660 – you can still donate. Something tells me we’ll hit $11,000.)
The March of Dimes reserved a parking spot for us because we were the #1 Friends and Family team.
As we drove through the lot, (because we missed our close parking space the first time around) I looked around and saw many faces that I love, getting out of their cars, getting ready for this day. My heart started to melt seeing these people.
I met Stacie, a fellow blogger, Stacie who I had never met in person, Stacie who felt compelled to walk with us and raise money for this cause. I am in awe of Stacie.
Before I knew it, our entire team was there, with our shirts on. These shirts that I love so much I can hardly take it. Every time I saw a shirt, which was often with almost thirty walkers, my heart skipped a beat. Thank you, Amy – my neighbor, my friend, for getting these shirts donated to us. I think you are awesome.
The director of the event approached me and told me that Team James & Jake would be leading the walk. Pride & disbelief is what felt.
Before the walk, at nine in the morning, inside the concrete building there was a joyous celebration taking place. Hundreds of people celebrating love, life, family and babies. Music, food and clowns added to the exciting atmosphere.
The six mile walk was ready to begin, Team James & Jake and all of the other walkers gathered outdoors to begin the long journey ahead, once again, Team James & Jake was announced with our amazing fundraising accomplishment over the loud speaker. Loud cheers came from the crowd, in my head and in my heart I could not fathom that people were cheering after hearing the names of our twin sons. I could not fathom that WE, my family, my friends were at this event because of James and Jake. I felt a strange mixture of elation and sadness.
We started off the walk – Team James and Jake in our shirts – we started walking and a wave of emotion swept over me, sadness really, the gravity of it all dipping deep into my soul. But soon, as has been the case in the past nine weeks, my family and my friends were there to put a band-aid over the hurt.
As I promised, in the silent moments of this six mile walk, I thought about James, Jake, Lydia, Jonathon, Grace and Allison Jane. I thought about all of the amazing Mommies who have e-mailed me privately telling me about their personal losses. I thought about all of you – I walked for you, too.
After an hour and forty-five minutes of walking, we were done. I was so hungry and my foot hurt, but I swear to you, I would have walked for twenty more miles if that’s what we set out to do. As much as I wish I could take James and Jake and hold them and squeeze them and kiss their beautiful lips or smell their sweet baby breath, or comfort them or fold their laundry, I can’t and never will in this lifetime, but for my beautiful sons, who have taught me so much in just nine agonizing weeks, I would walk forever for them. And I will walk for them again.
Yesterday I experienced a day that honored my boys, a day with family, a day with friends, a day with hugs, a day that held moments of multiple friends whispering I love you in my ear, a day filled with pride, a day filled with a reflection, a day where I know there were hundreds of people remembering James & Jake. It was the perfect day.
It is now that the emotion overcomes me, the tears fall quickly from my eyes, the day after the walk when I think about ALL OF THE LOVE that has filled our lives since that tragic day on February 26th, 2008 – the donations, the flowers, the cards, the dinners, the McDonald’s gift cards, the e-mails, the comments, the prayers, the thoughts – I know we are loved and I thank you for it. We feel your love. I thank James and Jake for giving us the gift of love, life and insight.
The tears may be flowing, but so is the love. The pain hurts so bad, but the love feels so good.
Pictures. (more pictures on my flickr page and on Crooked Eyebrow’s flickr page.)
Starting the walk. (photo by Crooked Eyebrow)
Left to right – my sister Sarah, me, my mom, my niece’s boyfriend, my niece, Amber, my sister, Amy. (photo by CE)
Crooked Eyebrow and I
My Mom. (photo by CE)
My Soul Sister and I. I would need a separate blog to be able to tell you about this amazing friend of mine.
Crooked Eyebrow and Racecar.
Stacie and I (photo by CE)
Kim (proud Mommy to a beautiful angel baby, Allison Jane) and Becca. Thank you, Kim & Becca.
My girls. Crooked Eyebrow and Milk & Honey.
I adore these girls.
Finished! Where’s the food?!
Dancing girls – CE and Lynette
Brian and I. Brian has raised OVER $2,600. I am SO proud of him. (photo by CE)
Why we walk. (photo by Dad F.)
Leading the way.
Proud Grandparents (photo by CE)
Proud Grandma F. (photo by CE)
Proud Grandpa F.
Walking. (photo my Mom H.)
CRY, CRY! Sniffle, cry. What an amazing post. What great pictures. What a perfect day (you said it!). You recreated it amazingly well…in this post that gave me crying face while I sit here at work.
CRY, CRY! Sniffle, cry. What an amazing post. What great pictures. What a perfect day (you said it!). You recreated it amazingly well…in this post that gave me crying face while I sit here at work.
damn, crying again, lump in my throat. I loved yesterday and would do it all over again in a heartbeat!
damn, crying again, lump in my throat. I loved yesterday and would do it all over again in a heartbeat!
Oh the tears- they are a flowing!
Steph
Oh the tears- they are a flowing!
Steph
People are awesome!!
People are awesome!!
I’m with you. Tears are flowing all over again.
That was once again,beautiful.
You and your family are so very loved and just the fact that you think about others and their pain while you walk. It’s just another reason why you are so beautiful.
$10,660 now
$11,000 soon
but wonderful, priceless memories.
No need to stop at $11,000…
I’m with you. Tears are flowing all over again.
That was once again,beautiful.
You and your family are so very loved and just the fact that you think about others and their pain while you walk. It’s just another reason why you are so beautiful.
$10,660 now
$11,000 soon
but wonderful, priceless memories.
No need to stop at $11,000…
I wish I could have walked with you. It looks like you had an amazing day…
I was thinking of you!
I wish I could have walked with you. It looks like you had an amazing day…
I was thinking of you!
I wish I could have walked with you. It looks like you had an amazing day…
I was thinking of you!
I wish I could have walked with you. It looks like you had an amazing day…
I was thinking of you!
I wish I could have walked with you. It looks like you had an amazing day…
I was thinking of you!
I wish I could have walked with you. It looks like you had an amazing day…
I was thinking of you!
(SNIFF)
This is beautiful.
(SNIFF)
This is beautiful.
Your team raised more than the whole local event here where I live. Congrats! What a beautiful, perfect day.
Your team raised more than the whole local event here where I live. Congrats! What a beautiful, perfect day.
I’m crying again……..
James and Jake have shown me more love than I knew existed and from so many beautiful people. Thank you James and Jake. I will always love you and miss you along with Grace and Jonathan.
I’m so proud of you, Beth, for your enduring strength,generosity and love. I really am in awe of you.
Beautiful post and pics!
I’m crying again……..
James and Jake have shown me more love than I knew existed and from so many beautiful people. Thank you James and Jake. I will always love you and miss you along with Grace and Jonathan.
I’m so proud of you, Beth, for your enduring strength,generosity and love. I really am in awe of you.
Beautiful post and pics!
Beth, I’m just swept over with emotion right now. What a fantastic group of supportive family and friends you have! Your story has changed my life, did you know that?
Beth, I’m just swept over with emotion right now. What a fantastic group of supportive family and friends you have! Your story has changed my life, did you know that?
Good grief…I started bawling as soon as I read the title.
What a wonderful circle of family and friends you have. I know that you know. That’s the best part.
Hugs and blessings…
Good grief…I started bawling as soon as I read the title.
What a wonderful circle of family and friends you have. I know that you know. That’s the best part.
Hugs and blessings…
What a beautiful post, Beth. You’ve outdone yourself again.
What a beautiful post, Beth. You’ve outdone yourself again.
What a wonderful wrap up to the day. Thank you for describing it and including all of the pictures. Your support system is amazing. You are all truly blessed.
What a wonderful wrap up to the day. Thank you for describing it and including all of the pictures. Your support system is amazing. You are all truly blessed.
Wow! That is just incredible, Beth! You should be so proud and thank you for sharing your pictures with us. You are amazing and I am so happy that you were able to do that!
Wow! That is just incredible, Beth! You should be so proud and thank you for sharing your pictures with us. You are amazing and I am so happy that you were able to do that!
Makes me so happy and hopeful that you have gotten so much support and participation, both in the actual walk and financially. There may be bad stuff going on in this here world of ours, but there is some seriously good stuff too. And you’re part of the good stuff. Hugs and congrats to Team James & Jake!
M
Makes me so happy and hopeful that you have gotten so much support and participation, both in the actual walk and financially. There may be bad stuff going on in this here world of ours, but there is some seriously good stuff too. And you’re part of the good stuff. Hugs and congrats to Team James & Jake!
M
That is awesome!!! I was crying before I even finished reading. Congratulations on raising as much as you did, and I hope the money continues to come in!!
That is awesome!!! I was crying before I even finished reading. Congratulations on raising as much as you did, and I hope the money continues to come in!!
I am sitting here, tears flowing again. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal journey with us. May your heart heal given the gift of time. Many hugs, Lisa
I am sitting here, tears flowing again. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal journey with us. May your heart heal given the gift of time. Many hugs, Lisa
AWESOME.AWESOME.AWESOME.
My sister and I walked in our March of Dimes here in Maryland…we walked in memory of her angel baby Moses and her on earth angel, Abraham! Wow, your pictures from your walk are just inspiring, thanks for sharing! I posted mine on my blog…remembering your boys with you today…God bless, Kari
AWESOME.AWESOME.AWESOME.
My sister and I walked in our March of Dimes here in Maryland…we walked in memory of her angel baby Moses and her on earth angel, Abraham! Wow, your pictures from your walk are just inspiring, thanks for sharing! I posted mine on my blog…remembering your boys with you today…God bless, Kari
Beth,
You are amazing! What a wonderful event. And so inspiring. I am in awe of your strength. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me.
Beth,
You are amazing! What a wonderful event. And so inspiring. I am in awe of your strength. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me.
yes…it’s perfect… Glad to see all of you on photo. What a great TEAM!
yes…it’s perfect… Glad to see all of you on photo. What a great TEAM!
yes…it’s perfect… Glad to see all of you on photo. What a great TEAM!
yes…it’s perfect… Glad to see all of you on photo. What a great TEAM!
yes…it’s perfect… Glad to see all of you on photo. What a great TEAM!
yes…it’s perfect… Glad to see all of you on photo. What a great TEAM!
You guys captured your perfect day SO beautifully. You have some amazing photographers (and cameras) amongst your team
Thank you for sharing with us. We all wish we could have been there with you!
You guys captured your perfect day SO beautifully. You have some amazing photographers (and cameras) amongst your team
Thank you for sharing with us. We all wish we could have been there with you!