I did not want June or July to come.
Even though they are my favorite months of the year, but this year? June and July equaled heartache and pain.
I wanted to run away, I wanted to be busy.
Well, I can’t run away, but I am busy. Almost too busy. My days and nights feel like hours to me, I work until sometimes one in the morning, the kids sleep until nine and the crazy day begins again. And I’m content with this, because I’m doing work I love and in between work and cleaning and phone calls, I’m loving on my kids.
But there is no beach, there are no vacations, no family picnics, no lazy days spent outside eating watermelon and playing with water, we do not spend our evenings talking to neighbors, but rather sitting inside -working, or sometimes watching our kids ride their bikes. And I’m not sure I’m okay with that. I mean, I AM okay with that now, but five years from now will I regret the summer we spent being too busy? or will I look back and think "it’s okay, Beth. It’s what you needed to do for the summer, it’s really okay."
I just hope, that years from now, I’ll look back on myself and on the summer of 2008 and I hope I’m easy on myself because it just feels right, right now.
I have, however, been able to spend time with Ariel and Racecar’s cousins, just today they spent the day with us, they ate outside and ate Peanut Butter and Jelly and they want to come back tomorrow. And all of the laughter I have been listening to ALL DAY LONG, makes me fall in love with this summer – even while sitting at home.
I know. I have a hard time, putting things aside and savoring the summer moments. I find myself struggling internally with sitting inside-doing chores or venturing to take the kids outside to enjoy the sunshine. When I make it out, I am always glad I did…but the times I don’t or can’t, I do regret. I need to be at peace where ever I am, and know I did the best I could for that moment.
I know. I have a hard time, putting things aside and savoring the summer moments. I find myself struggling internally with sitting inside-doing chores or venturing to take the kids outside to enjoy the sunshine. When I make it out, I am always glad I did…but the times I don’t or can’t, I do regret. I need to be at peace where ever I am, and know I did the best I could for that moment.
I’m glad you’re staying busy–it’s probably best this summer. If you know that it feels right NOW (to be busy this summer), then I doubt you’ll regret it later–you have to do what you have to do, right? *hugs*
I’m glad you’re staying busy–it’s probably best this summer. If you know that it feels right NOW (to be busy this summer), then I doubt you’ll regret it later–you have to do what you have to do, right? *hugs*
Oh Beth. *hugs* Do what feels right to you now and it will feel right to you later. You need this right now.
Oh Beth. *hugs* Do what feels right to you now and it will feel right to you later. You need this right now.
Keep pressing on these months…the good news? August is coming. There is still a lot of summer left.
Keep pressing on these months…the good news? August is coming. There is still a lot of summer left.
Keep staying busy! If it’s what you need to do. Looks like in the pictures the kiddos are happy. You sure are doing something perfectly right!
Keep staying busy! If it’s what you need to do. Looks like in the pictures the kiddos are happy. You sure are doing something perfectly right!
I totally understand! Sometimes being a grown up is just too hard. Take some time to do something fun!
I totally understand! Sometimes being a grown up is just too hard. Take some time to do something fun!
You won’t look back on this summer as the summer you missed out but rather the summer you made it through…. And thats what you need right now.
You won’t look back on this summer as the summer you missed out but rather the summer you made it through…. And thats what you need right now.
It’s all such a balancing act and you seem to be doing a great job of it. Love ya!
It’s all such a balancing act and you seem to be doing a great job of it. Love ya!
You aren’t missing out on the summer, I hope you find the perfect moments to cherish like you did today even more this summer.
You are improving yourself this summer, creating and designing, not to mention moving. You are busy, but hopefully you will look back at the summer of 2008 and feel nothing but self pride.
You aren’t missing out on the summer, I hope you find the perfect moments to cherish like you did today even more this summer.
You are improving yourself this summer, creating and designing, not to mention moving. You are busy, but hopefully you will look back at the summer of 2008 and feel nothing but self pride.
You looked gorgeous at the wedding. Peace, sister. Lots of Peace!!
You looked gorgeous at the wedding. Peace, sister. Lots of Peace!!
I hope you go easy on yourself, too. One summer spent being too busy so you can heal? That is not too high a price. If you try to hide your feelings and be something you’re not – they’re just going to fester and explode later, causing real damage. Go easy on yourself. You’re doing just fine.
I hope you go easy on yourself, too. One summer spent being too busy so you can heal? That is not too high a price. If you try to hide your feelings and be something you’re not – they’re just going to fester and explode later, causing real damage. Go easy on yourself. You’re doing just fine.
Ditto to everyone else’s comments. Give yourself credit and enjoy the moments with Ariel and Racecar
Ditto to everyone else’s comments. Give yourself credit and enjoy the moments with Ariel and Racecar
Oh the cousins! I love the cousin time! I wish Bean’s cousins were close so I could soak them up for days on end, too. That pic of the little brigade of PB&Js – adorable. Frame it and hang it in your new kitchen – it’s a keeper. (The kid picture is good too! I don’t mean to imply they aren’t darling!) You just do what you need to do this summer – I think you’re on the right track for everyone’s well-being, honestly. Hugs.
Oh the cousins! I love the cousin time! I wish Bean’s cousins were close so I could soak them up for days on end, too. That pic of the little brigade of PB&Js – adorable. Frame it and hang it in your new kitchen – it’s a keeper. (The kid picture is good too! I don’t mean to imply they aren’t darling!) You just do what you need to do this summer – I think you’re on the right track for everyone’s well-being, honestly. Hugs.
Mmm… pass the blueberries please. You are totally going to look back and know you did what you had to do. That’s what we’re all doing, really.
Steph
Mmm… pass the blueberries please. You are totally going to look back and know you did what you had to do. That’s what we’re all doing, really.
Steph
It’s okay. You are doing what you need to do. And you will look back, and it will be a blur, and you will know that it’s okay. ((hug))
It’s okay. You are doing what you need to do. And you will look back, and it will be a blur, and you will know that it’s okay. ((hug))
It’s a good thing. The memories will still be there and you’ll make it through the best you can. You’re amazing.
It’s a good thing. The memories will still be there and you’ll make it through the best you can. You’re amazing.
You need to do what feels right for you now and don’t worry about how you are going to feel about it later. You are doing what you need to do, and it’s ok. You are a great woman, your kids are happy, and in the end that’s what will matter.
You need to do what feels right for you now and don’t worry about how you are going to feel about it later. You are doing what you need to do, and it’s ok. You are a great woman, your kids are happy, and in the end that’s what will matter.
you are doing what you NEED to do to get through it, you are doing your BEST…can’t fault yourself for that sweetie!
you are doing what you NEED to do to get through it, you are doing your BEST…can’t fault yourself for that sweetie!
We always have to go through seasons of life that are like this…maybe not what you would have bought a ticket and signed up for, but still what’s best for you none the less. I think busy is exactly what you need right now, and I’m so glad you are!
We always have to go through seasons of life that are like this…maybe not what you would have bought a ticket and signed up for, but still what’s best for you none the less. I think busy is exactly what you need right now, and I’m so glad you are!
Beth…you will be able to look back onthe summer of 2008 and say, “it was okay” because you know what…YOU SURVIVED! Right now…it’s all about that. Kids are resilient…they will look back and think that the summer of 2008 was just dandy. You love your children and it’s evident that they love you too! They don’t need fancy things, vacations, etc. to feel that they’re loved…so staying home is actually OKAY! HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS! This is the best way to deal with what has happened. You’re not going on vacation to “get away” but rather you’re staying home and dealing with the loss of your boys. This is what YOU need to do. You will look back on this year and say…DAMN RIGHT, IT WAS A GREAT CHOICE TO STAY HOME! Hang in there! (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Beth…you will be able to look back onthe summer of 2008 and say, “it was okay” because you know what…YOU SURVIVED! Right now…it’s all about that. Kids are resilient…they will look back and think that the summer of 2008 was just dandy. You love your children and it’s evident that they love you too! They don’t need fancy things, vacations, etc. to feel that they’re loved…so staying home is actually OKAY! HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS! This is the best way to deal with what has happened. You’re not going on vacation to “get away” but rather you’re staying home and dealing with the loss of your boys. This is what YOU need to do. You will look back on this year and say…DAMN RIGHT, IT WAS A GREAT CHOICE TO STAY HOME! Hang in there! (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
yes…i agree to,do what you have to do
yes…i agree to,do what you have to do
Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Summer is so fleeting I think that we feel if each day is not over the top fun, fun, fun, we have somehow failed. There will be moments, good moments and those are what you will remember. And if busy makes mommy feel good then that is what mommy needs to do right now.
Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Summer is so fleeting I think that we feel if each day is not over the top fun, fun, fun, we have somehow failed. There will be moments, good moments and those are what you will remember. And if busy makes mommy feel good then that is what mommy needs to do right now.
I don’t think you will ever regret staying busy. Listen to that laughter and enjoy it.
I don’t think you will ever regret staying busy. Listen to that laughter and enjoy it.
We moved last summer, and I missed a lot of the things I would have like d to do. But it is life and what happens. You are doing your best, and that is all you can expect. Love the pics of the sandwiches.
Jen
We moved last summer, and I missed a lot of the things I would have like d to do. But it is life and what happens. You are doing your best, and that is all you can expect. Love the pics of the sandwiches.
Jen