Sometimes, I get tired of pretending. At the store, with family, with my friends, with my kids, with my husband.
With me.
I look into the mirror each morning and I can almost convince myself that my heart isn’t broken, I look at my eyes and they look the same at the surface and that will carry me through the rest of the day, pretending there is no pain.
But sometimes, I can’t pretend anymore, sometimes, like last night and RIGHT NOW, the wound is so deep and raw, that I wonder how I was ever able to get out of bed just today. Now, when I look into the mirror, I see empty, wet, puffy eyes.
It still hurts so bad. I still can’t believe this is where we are in our lives. I can’t believe they are gone. I can’t believe that today, almost four months later, I still feel like I won’t make through this day. I can’t believe I’m not stronger than this.
Sometimes, I need your words so badly. Right now is one of those times.
Sending you love.
Sending you love.
Honestly Beth..if you didn’t feel this pain so raw…I wouldn’t know who you were. There is no way in hell you shouldn’t feel it so raw. You know how much you love those boys from the very first instant you knew you were pregnant…probably even before you knew that you were going to be pregnant with them. It is an unbearable and totally un-understandable thing. Nobody knows why this would happen…well besides God. I know you are supposed to trust God…but that doesn’t make it hurt any less or make it any more understandable. The whole thing completely SUCKS. You feel your grief girl…as much as you want. Don’t try to “rush” thru it. There is nothing but time that will make the pain diminish a little bit. Besides these 2 months will really REALLY suck. Cry, scream, get pissed, sulk, sleep, do anything you want to “help” the pain. We are all here for you…if just to listen.
Honestly Beth..if you didn’t feel this pain so raw…I wouldn’t know who you were. There is no way in hell you shouldn’t feel it so raw. You know how much you love those boys from the very first instant you knew you were pregnant…probably even before you knew that you were going to be pregnant with them. It is an unbearable and totally un-understandable thing. Nobody knows why this would happen…well besides God. I know you are supposed to trust God…but that doesn’t make it hurt any less or make it any more understandable. The whole thing completely SUCKS. You feel your grief girl…as much as you want. Don’t try to “rush” thru it. There is nothing but time that will make the pain diminish a little bit. Besides these 2 months will really REALLY suck. Cry, scream, get pissed, sulk, sleep, do anything you want to “help” the pain. We are all here for you…if just to listen.
I want you to know that you are strong and brave. You don’t have to pretend here. Four months is not long and you need to feel what you feel. I pray for you. Be easier on yourself. You are handling it like the mom you are.
I want you to know that you are strong and brave. You don’t have to pretend here. Four months is not long and you need to feel what you feel. I pray for you. Be easier on yourself. You are handling it like the mom you are.
Beth.
HUGS, it’s ok to still feel hurt. I think you will feel that pain for the rest of your life and it is normal to feel. Maybe it would feel better to NOT pretend with friends and family (I can understand strangers).
Jeez, I don’t know, I wish you all the strength in the world…here, take mine.
Beth.
HUGS, it’s ok to still feel hurt. I think you will feel that pain for the rest of your life and it is normal to feel. Maybe it would feel better to NOT pretend with friends and family (I can understand strangers).
Jeez, I don’t know, I wish you all the strength in the world…here, take mine.
Just wanted to say Hi and that I am thinking of you.. We don’t know eachother but we have a Friend in Common..
Sending you bunches of HUGS!!!!
You are in my Thoughts and Prayers!
Just wanted to say Hi and that I am thinking of you.. We don’t know eachother but we have a Friend in Common..
Sending you bunches of HUGS!!!!
You are in my Thoughts and Prayers!
Hugs…
Hugs…
I wish there were more I could do to help. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
I wish there were more I could do to help. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Day by day…don’t think too far ahead. You’ll make it. We all have faith in you.
I know it’s hard…but I get through my grief by counting the blessings God has given me in my life. He will help bare the weight of your grief. He is strong.
Day by day…don’t think too far ahead. You’ll make it. We all have faith in you.
I know it’s hard…but I get through my grief by counting the blessings God has given me in my life. He will help bare the weight of your grief. He is strong.
The only thing I can think of to say is that it’s probably time to turn to the bottle, so I should probably just refrain.
The only thing I can think of to say is that it’s probably time to turn to the bottle, so I should probably just refrain.
We are here, Beth. We are with you.
We are here, Beth. We are with you.
I hurt for you so much right now. There is no timetable on grief. You just have to go at your own pace and not worry about anyone else. I think about you and those boys everyday, and even though we will most likely never meet, you are in my thoughts all the time. I pray that God takes away your hurt and makes each day a tniy bit more bearable for you. Hugs.
I hurt for you so much right now. There is no timetable on grief. You just have to go at your own pace and not worry about anyone else. I think about you and those boys everyday, and even though we will most likely never meet, you are in my thoughts all the time. I pray that God takes away your hurt and makes each day a tniy bit more bearable for you. Hugs.
Oh dear Beth I want to give you a big ol’ hug. I hate to see pain and sadness in your life – I wish I could take it away for you. I wish I had words that would comfort you. Just know that you are very dear to me, you and your family are continually in my thoughts and prayers. I love you!
Oh dear Beth I want to give you a big ol’ hug. I hate to see pain and sadness in your life – I wish I could take it away for you. I wish I had words that would comfort you. Just know that you are very dear to me, you and your family are continually in my thoughts and prayers. I love you!
Please consider yourself ((hugged)) and prayed for today.
Please consider yourself ((hugged)) and prayed for today.
I hope you feel this love enclosed in this gigantic hug (((Hugs))). God Bless you, your boys and your family.
I hope you feel this love enclosed in this gigantic hug (((Hugs))). God Bless you, your boys and your family.
i’m so sorry. i hope this blog is providing you some comfort. keep writing.
i’m so sorry. i hope this blog is providing you some comfort. keep writing.
Hugs and prayers Beth. I am sorry for this pain you must endure at this time in your life.
Hugs and prayers Beth. I am sorry for this pain you must endure at this time in your life.
I’m late reading this one, but I think of you and your boys every single day.
I’m late reading this one, but I think of you and your boys every single day.
I’m so sorry, I hope it gets easier for you. I know you’ll remember your boys forever, but I hope it soon turns to joy instead of sorrow.
I’m so sorry, I hope it gets easier for you. I know you’ll remember your boys forever, but I hope it soon turns to joy instead of sorrow.
Beth I know that I am lte with this but I think of you so often and you and your family are always in my prayers. Its okay for it still to be this raw. Take a deep breathe and remember that tomorrow will come and one day it will a little better.
I have no idea how or if these rambling help you but I hope that you do.
Always in our prayers.
~Aimee
Beth I know that I am lte with this but I think of you so often and you and your family are always in my prayers. Its okay for it still to be this raw. Take a deep breathe and remember that tomorrow will come and one day it will a little better.
I have no idea how or if these rambling help you but I hope that you do.
Always in our prayers.
~Aimee
At least once a day you go through my head. I say a prayer, and offer up hugs to you. I know there isn’t much to say, but know that you are in all our hearts!!
At least once a day you go through my head. I say a prayer, and offer up hugs to you. I know there isn’t much to say, but know that you are in all our hearts!!
Oh my dear Beth. I hope today is better. My heart hurts for you. ((hug))
Oh my dear Beth. I hope today is better. My heart hurts for you. ((hug))
Once again, I’m a bit late. But it’s never too late to leave a word.
just want you to know I am here. we are hear. We’re listening and we are praying.
Love,
Liza
Once again, I’m a bit late. But it’s never too late to leave a word.
just want you to know I am here. we are hear. We’re listening and we are praying.
Love,
Liza
Once again, I’m a bit late. But it’s never too late to leave a word.
just want you to know I am here. we are hear. We’re listening and we are praying.
Love,
Liza
Once again, I’m a bit late. But it’s never too late to leave a word.
just want you to know I am here. we are hear. We’re listening and we are praying.
Love,
Liza
Once again, I’m a bit late. But it’s never too late to leave a word.
just want you to know I am here. we are hear. We’re listening and we are praying.
Love,
Liza
Once again, I’m a bit late. But it’s never too late to leave a word.
just want you to know I am here. we are hear. We’re listening and we are praying.
Love,
Liza