Brian came home yesterday, two days earlier than planned and now when I see him I think he’s a Super Hero – because yesterday? I went to lunch with this girl (she lives in the same small town as me and that makes me feel like I won the lottery). Then last night I had dinner with my friends. It was awesome. Like so awesome because I was not stuck at home all day long and I socialized and I feel like a thousand pounds has been lifted off of my chest.
I was beginning to feel like a prisoner. And the thing is, while Brian was gone, the kids were good, enjoyable for the most part. They slept well, ate well, fought well, played well, tattled well and sometimes, they did get on my nerves, but that’s to be expected. I’m sure I got on their nerves, too. Particularly when I would not let them get Swiss Cake Rolls at the grocery store.
It’s amazing to me how quickly time is passing, it’s just unreal. I feel like I wake up in the morning (at eight, nine and once even 10:00!) and before I know it, it’s bedtime (which lately equals 2 in the morning – Thanks, Be Design!) I stay up late, I eat ice cream, I work a lot.
I mean, a lot.
But that’s okay, I’ve been busy. It’s what I wanted.
I guess I’m feeling a little bit down because I thought that if I filled every waking moment with something, that I would feel less sad. or I would be too busy to feel the sadness. But that’s not the case.
I am sad and that’s okay. I so badly need to be okay with my sadness and not try to fight it. It’s just that being sad is so….sad.
Today, I need to focus on the good things, the great things. My sister-in-law and her family adopted a beautiful baby boy, he came home yesterday, my other sister-in-law gave birth to a baby boy just hours ago. I think about the little toes and fingers and the life that is being brought into their families, and the love that goes along with it, well, I can’t help but feel good about that. Two nephews in one week! Not many people can say that. We are blessed, for sure.
Here are some pictures that I took over this past week, more reminders of the good in my life.
There’s beauty on my deck:
And in my yard:
And near my home, at the perfect time of day:
(if you look real close, you can see the Chicago skyline, way in the distance.)
And in the sky:
And a double rainbow.
But mostly:
No matter how hard life can be, it’s always so very, very good.
Amen, girl…couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for being real and for sharing your heart…
Amen, girl…couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for being real and for sharing your heart…
Your Pictures are breathtaking! Just beautiful!
Your Pictures are breathtaking! Just beautiful!
Your pictures are fabulous!
Your pictures are fabulous!
I usually feel like being busy doesn’t make me less sad, but better able to handle the sad.
You didn’t win the lottery because I did. Can two people win?
I usually feel like being busy doesn’t make me less sad, but better able to handle the sad.
You didn’t win the lottery because I did. Can two people win?
God’s blessings Beth…..
God’s blessings Beth…..
Dear Beth,
I don’t think a rainbow could have appeared at a more miraculous time. We had one here too… Tuesday evening. Then your glorious flowers. You know the saying, “The earth smiles in flowers.” Yes, it does. And your beautiful children… romping, happy, smiling, summertime children. These are your miracles!
Much love,
Sharon
Dear Beth,
I don’t think a rainbow could have appeared at a more miraculous time. We had one here too… Tuesday evening. Then your glorious flowers. You know the saying, “The earth smiles in flowers.” Yes, it does. And your beautiful children… romping, happy, smiling, summertime children. These are your miracles!
Much love,
Sharon
The sun is shining brighter for you hopefully. I love the friend lotto.
I like being busy because it makes me feel accomplished. I get a new sense of purpose and it moves me, therefore making me a wee bit happier.
Too bad laundry and dishes don’t move me…
The sun is shining brighter for you hopefully. I love the friend lotto.
I like being busy because it makes me feel accomplished. I get a new sense of purpose and it moves me, therefore making me a wee bit happier.
Too bad laundry and dishes don’t move me…
So well put!
The pictures are amazing! I love the double rainbow.
Congrats on the two nephews! Very exciting.
So well put!
The pictures are amazing! I love the double rainbow.
Congrats on the two nephews! Very exciting.
Hey, when did you come up to Berrien County? Or does someone else have the same looking lighthouse as us! *wink* You were within walking distance! I’d have taken ya’ out for Kilwin’s! LOL
And, what in the WORLD are you feedin’ those kids!? When did they get so BIG!?
Hey, when did you come up to Berrien County? Or does someone else have the same looking lighthouse as us! *wink* You were within walking distance! I’d have taken ya’ out for Kilwin’s! LOL
And, what in the WORLD are you feedin’ those kids!? When did they get so BIG!?
Sniffle. Beautiful, Beth. I’m happy there’s so much in your life to give you real joy, to balance out the sorrow. That’s the thing, isn’t it?
Sniffle. Beautiful, Beth. I’m happy there’s so much in your life to give you real joy, to balance out the sorrow. That’s the thing, isn’t it?
I want to be in that lake photo! That has to be magical to be so close to Chicago but also be in a small town.
I want to be in that lake photo! That has to be magical to be so close to Chicago but also be in a small town.
I think its very important to remember there is always beauty and love and possitivness around us.. even when we would rather ignore it than embrace it..
Even negative things are beautiful and wonderfull..
Your sadness you feel is beautiful and something to be thankful for. You would never feel this sadness if you hadn’t been able to know your boys.. Doesnt that make it worth it??
I’m about 16 wks pregnant right now.. and i’m so thankful for every problem.. i’m thankful for the exhaustion and naseau… because i know there are so many others that want so badly to feel like this..
I have a few complications and we dont know how things will turn out.. but i’m thankful for that. I would never trade this time with my baby for anything. Even if it means I may never know him or her..
I hope on your next bad day. or moment.. you can remember this day..and the beauty..
I think its very important to remember there is always beauty and love and possitivness around us.. even when we would rather ignore it than embrace it..
Even negative things are beautiful and wonderfull..
Your sadness you feel is beautiful and something to be thankful for. You would never feel this sadness if you hadn’t been able to know your boys.. Doesnt that make it worth it??
I’m about 16 wks pregnant right now.. and i’m so thankful for every problem.. i’m thankful for the exhaustion and naseau… because i know there are so many others that want so badly to feel like this..
I have a few complications and we dont know how things will turn out.. but i’m thankful for that. I would never trade this time with my baby for anything. Even if it means I may never know him or her..
I hope on your next bad day. or moment.. you can remember this day..and the beauty..
Love, love, love the pictures. Your kids are so beautiful. Congrats on the 2 new nephews! That’s some exciting stuff!
Love, love, love the pictures. Your kids are so beautiful. Congrats on the 2 new nephews! That’s some exciting stuff!
DOUBLE RAINBOW…HOW PERFECT! Love the photo! I love all the photos but the double rainbow pic…well.. it just makes my heart smile! Truly a sign from above! Congrats on being an Aunt again. Twice in one week. WOW! Too cool! Thinking of you.
DOUBLE RAINBOW…HOW PERFECT! Love the photo! I love all the photos but the double rainbow pic…well.. it just makes my heart smile! Truly a sign from above! Congrats on being an Aunt again. Twice in one week. WOW! Too cool! Thinking of you.
gorgeous pictures beth. and your attitude in this post is very inspiring. you are such an amazing person – i hope you realize that.
gorgeous pictures beth. and your attitude in this post is very inspiring. you are such an amazing person – i hope you realize that.
I am so happy to visit here and see that you’ve found some happiness. I know you find it every day – it’s just easier to share the pain at times. Beautiful pictures!
I am so happy to visit here and see that you’ve found some happiness. I know you find it every day – it’s just easier to share the pain at times. Beautiful pictures!
First, GREAT pics- I could cover my walls with them- second, life is good and you know there is always someone out there who is worse off than you and you can pray for them. And finally, I’ve read the blog for the past few days and want to tell you not to rush your grieving process. Honey, this is the year of firsts- or so I call it. The first time to experience your loss through everything and every special occasion for the first year. Call your friends/family. Do not hesitate. Tell them how you feel-God gave them to you for help and they desperately want to help even if it’s just listening to you vent. Do not feel inadequate-you put forth your best effort everyday that you get up out of that bed and that’s more than a lot of people can say in tough times. Finally- this will get easier. You won’t ever forget it or not-not think of it but you will be able to deal with it in better ways as time goes on. And there is where your faith comes back. It will come back. Oh- thank God for your rainbow pic. I’ve been desperately looking for one with Dan leaving in a few days. I cried when I saw it cause Mom and I always said a double rainbow was like a little extra insurance that everything would be ok. So, thank you for that. I will breathe a little easier tonight. I love you, Beth. I pray for you all the time, any time of day. I know you will prosper and your happiness and faith will be restored again. Until then, keep writing, keep striving- keep living.
Love to you and the fam, T.
First, GREAT pics- I could cover my walls with them- second, life is good and you know there is always someone out there who is worse off than you and you can pray for them. And finally, I’ve read the blog for the past few days and want to tell you not to rush your grieving process. Honey, this is the year of firsts- or so I call it. The first time to experience your loss through everything and every special occasion for the first year. Call your friends/family. Do not hesitate. Tell them how you feel-God gave them to you for help and they desperately want to help even if it’s just listening to you vent. Do not feel inadequate-you put forth your best effort everyday that you get up out of that bed and that’s more than a lot of people can say in tough times. Finally- this will get easier. You won’t ever forget it or not-not think of it but you will be able to deal with it in better ways as time goes on. And there is where your faith comes back. It will come back. Oh- thank God for your rainbow pic. I’ve been desperately looking for one with Dan leaving in a few days. I cried when I saw it cause Mom and I always said a double rainbow was like a little extra insurance that everything would be ok. So, thank you for that. I will breathe a little easier tonight. I love you, Beth. I pray for you all the time, any time of day. I know you will prosper and your happiness and faith will be restored again. Until then, keep writing, keep striving- keep living.
Love to you and the fam, T.
Beautiful pictures! You are talented!
Beautiful pictures! You are talented!
I’m sorry that you had some really bad days. I was wanting to comment and encourage, but I was having some bad days too. Well, I just wanted to check in and let you know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers, and I appreciate so much all that you share here. So glad that you are having some good days, too! Best wishes for this BIG move!
Also…my pastor and his wife lost their 16 year old son many years back, and they’ve created a CD interview about their time of grieving and struggles, as well as a book. If you’d be interested in me sending you copies of either or both, let me know!
I’m sorry that you had some really bad days. I was wanting to comment and encourage, but I was having some bad days too. Well, I just wanted to check in and let you know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers, and I appreciate so much all that you share here. So glad that you are having some good days, too! Best wishes for this BIG move!
Also…my pastor and his wife lost their 16 year old son many years back, and they’ve created a CD interview about their time of grieving and struggles, as well as a book. If you’d be interested in me sending you copies of either or both, let me know!
Those pictures are amazingly beautiful. You are still in my prayers.
Those pictures are amazingly beautiful. You are still in my prayers.
Your pictures of the *distant* Chicago skyline really make me miss the Windy City!
Your pictures of the *distant* Chicago skyline really make me miss the Windy City!
Beautiful!
You saved the best for last too, they are darling and gorgeous!!!
Congrats on your nephews!
Beautiful!
You saved the best for last too, they are darling and gorgeous!!!
Congrats on your nephews!
A wonderful post. Best wishes for your move. May it all go smoothly.
A wonderful post. Best wishes for your move. May it all go smoothly.
Those purple flowers are so pretty. What are they? And the lake, oh how I love the pictures of the lake. Just gorgeous!
Congratulations on the new family members… and love the pics of your kiddos too!
Those purple flowers are so pretty. What are they? And the lake, oh how I love the pictures of the lake. Just gorgeous!
Congratulations on the new family members… and love the pics of your kiddos too!