Nine years ago, right now, I was at the salon with my bridesmaids and mother, Brian was golfing with his family.

It was a typical wedding day. 

Do you ever wonder what you would do differently, if given a chance?  I typically don’t think of such things, as I do my best not to regret anything or question any decision I ever made in the past.  But this year?  If I could go back in time, I would tell that girl planning her wedding to keep it simple.

Since losing James and Jake, I see pictures of myself years, months, days before losing them.  And I want to cry out "watch out, tread carefully…life will not always feel this good."

I wish I could sit down with myself back when the wedding planning began, I wonder what I would say to myself? 

Just be simple.  Because years from now, life is not going to be simple, it’s going to be so difficult you’ll cry more tears than you ever did as a child.  And you won’t be crying because someone hit you or someone stole your stuffed dog, you’ll be crying because your heart will feel the most intense pain and loss you could have ever imagined.  Life will not be simple, it’s going to be hard.  You and your future husband will experience what it’s like to fight through a marriage, you’ll suffer a loss so huge you won’t know how to get out of bed each morning, but you will.  Because of him, because of your children.  Because you’re you.  The flowers, the cake, the dress, trust me, in the long run, those things do not matter.  What matters is you and him, joining hands forever, facing the future prepared for whatever bumps or valley or roadblocks lay ahead.  You’ll be together, arms locked, fingers intertwined.  I hope I have not made you fear your life together, by these warnings of sadness and grief, because there are many peaks, so much love and uncountable blessings.   

Just tread carefully and don’t be afraid to love with all of your heart and soul.

On this day, August 7th, 1999, the only thing that matters is what brought you here today, that and the life that lay ahead.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google Bookmarks