Peace, please.

I am in a terrible mood.

Sometimes, I need the noise to stop.  The loud toys, the annoying Spongebob, the whining, the yelling, sometimes, even the playing and laughter eat at my nerves. 

It has been one of those days.  And it’s almost peaceful right now except for Brian sitting in the office singing, I want to turn his volume down, but I’ll try to tune it out, rather than hurt his feelings.

I just want peace and quiet, for once today.

——-

Okay, I just ran off to my bedroom away.  Time for a story.

Last Saturday night we got our hands on tickets to see Jim Gaffigan, he’s my all time favorite comic and it just so happens he grew up in my area, I used to work with his brother and we go to the same church.  (you know, the church I haven’t been to since the memorial service…yeah, that church.)

So, Brian and I got tickets to see his performance on Saturday night with a pre-party backstage before the show, complete with cheeseburgers and drinks.  It was fun, but very, very crowded.  (however, not nearly as fun as the last time.)

Like disgusting, sweaty crowded.  But, it was a night out, we’ll take what we can get.

Jim came to the party for a bit and then we headed out to get another drink and head to our seats. 

The show was just beginning and I got out my camera, not necessarily to take pictures, I did want to see the shots I took from the pre-party, but I’m not saying I would not have…had I taken pictures, however, it would have been without flash.

All of a sudden, the woman next to me, (there was an empty seat beside me) starts yelling at me to put my camera away.  "I’m going to have your thrown out!  You are really getting on my nerves!"

Well, she obviously hadn’t been to a performance since Barry Manilow debuted many years ago, because well….cameras ARE allowed.  Thank you very much.

I replied with "are you kidding me?  I’m not doing anything wrong!"

"Well, let’s ask an usher!" she replied.

"Go ahead, CAMERAS ARE ALLOWED!"

and then she turned away from me.

and I cried.

For a long, long time.  I sat and cried because I couldn’t believe that I had to sit next to this bitter, awful person, I couldn’t believe that we couldn’t just have a night out, by ourselves without someone making me feel like shit.  I could not believe that I try to be so kind and understanding to everyone that crosses my path and I’m sitting here next to someone who thinks I’m scum.

Haven’t we been through enough this year?  Can’t I just be left alone for a little while?

Oh man, I was THE VICTIM.  And it was ridiculous.  I sat there and knew I was being ridiculous, I sat there, with tears streaming down my face knowing that I was playing the victim, but I couldn’t stop.  I kept thinking, over and over again…."just if she knew about James and Jake, just if she knew my heart was broken, I wish I could tell her, to teach her that she doesn’t know EVERYTHING about everything." 

I could not believe she had ruined our night.  I just couldn’t scrape her meanness off of me.

Until I did.

"Don’t be a victim," I told myself.  "She has nothing to do with James and Jake. she was just trying to do what she thought was right."  And heck, maybe she was right.  I have no idea.  But those were the thoughts I made myself think.  (and it was soooooooooooo hard, so so so hard, I really wanted to stay angry at her all night long and between you and me, I’m still kinda angry, but that’s okay)

But before I knew it, even with tears in my eyes and a heavy, heavy heart.  I was able to laugh.

and it really was the best medicine.

That and giving her the evil eye before I left.

But one of the coolest things that happened to me that night?  Someone who reads my blog recognized me and introduced herself.

Now, that was awesome.  (Hi Holly!)

The other cool thing was seeing Lynette at the same show.  She moved to Ohio in July and well…I miss her.

…I feel my bad mood lifting.  Thanks for listening.