You know what I like about New Jersey? The fact that it can be called Jersey and it sounds so hip and cool.
Where you headed?
Jersey.
The Jersey Shore.
AWESOME.
Know what I don’t like about New Jersey? You can’t take left turns. It’s true. I know most of you have never been to New Jersey and didn’t even know this little fact about this little state. YOU CAN’T TURN LEFT. It’s very, very strange. If you’re destination is on the left, you actually have to pass it, find a stoplight guided u-turn and drive back to the place you missed. But it’s not my state and I’m not here very much so I guess I won’t judge, right? There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts down the road and that means we are going to be just fine.
We are here for a wedding. Brian’s cousin is getting married today and we are all very excited about this event. I’ll be wearing a dress that I really like and it was only the 79th dress I tried on. My friends at Shabby Apple sent me this dress to wear to the wedding, it arrived and it was so soft and vivid and beautiful. But my belly got in the way for it to fit properly, so I can’t wear it. I was pretty disappointed, especially when I had to go dress shopping which is not fun when you are fat and completely unhappy with how you look.
I’m thinking I need to seriously do Weight Watchers and when I say seriously do Weight Watchers, not only do I mean, you know, actually COUNTING POINTS, but I also need to attend meetings. Every week. Which isn’t a big deal, except I feel silly? like a failure? embarrassed? Since I was a lifetime member for so long and here I am, big and round again. And it’s not like I can stand on the scale and say “YES BUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH TWINS AND I WAS DOING GREAT WITH MY WEIGHT AND THEN I LOST THEM AND THEN I DIDN’T EAT FOR WEEKS BECAUSE FOOD DIDN’T MATTER TO ME AND I LOST TOO MUCH WEIGHT AND THEN I STARTED EATING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND I HAVEN’T STOPPED AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A LOSER WHICH MAKES ME EAT MORE, WHICH MAKES ME GAIN WEIGHT, WHICH MAKES ME FEELS WORSE ABOUT MYSELF AND THEN I EAT MORE.”
I just want to go to a meeting and not have anyone ask me any questions. Maybe I could get a shirt that says “yes, I know, but SHUTUP.”
But I won’t, it will be one of those life experiences that I look back on and think “you know, that was so hard but I overcame it and I’m so glad I did because I don’t hate the way I look anymore, I did something about it and I really do love myself.”
When I put it that way it doesn’t sound so bad, afterall.
The first few months of Peyton’s treatment I was by her side either in a bed or on a chair…for MONTHS…we ate and snacked and did whatever made her happy and by the time I stood up for the first time 4 months later I resembled Homer Simpson. It’s been 2 years. I’m still working on it. Not as hard as I should, but working.
There has to be a ready point. Not just when you’re ready to not be unhappy with your body anymore, but a point when you stop associating the weight with the moment. Does that even make sense? A part of me holds this weight because it’s a reminder of when she needed me most and I sacrificed physically and emotionally to be what she needed. I put on the weight and I still haven’t let go of it yet. Maybe it’s an excuse, but I also know it’s true.
You’re going to do it, I have faith in you.
The first few months of Peyton’s treatment I was by her side either in a bed or on a chair…for MONTHS…we ate and snacked and did whatever made her happy and by the time I stood up for the first time 4 months later I resembled Homer Simpson. It’s been 2 years. I’m still working on it. Not as hard as I should, but working.
There has to be a ready point. Not just when you’re ready to not be unhappy with your body anymore, but a point when you stop associating the weight with the moment. Does that even make sense? A part of me holds this weight because it’s a reminder of when she needed me most and I sacrificed physically and emotionally to be what she needed. I put on the weight and I still haven’t let go of it yet. Maybe it’s an excuse, but I also know it’s true.
You’re going to do it, I have faith in you.
I think that last paragraph sums it up just perfectly!
Hope you enjoyed the wedding in Jersey! : )
I think that last paragraph sums it up just perfectly!
Hope you enjoyed the wedding in Jersey! : )
If you get me a shut up shirt I will totally go with you. I think you summed up exactly how I feel about it too.
If you get me a shut up shirt I will totally go with you. I think you summed up exactly how I feel about it too.
I want a Shut up shirt. Seriously, you are on to something here. If you went in to business I would definitely sport this wicked cool slogan shirt.
You can do it. Positive, Positive, Positive! We’re all behind you with those positive thoughts! Now go kick some Weight Watchers butt!
I want a Shut up shirt. Seriously, you are on to something here. If you went in to business I would definitely sport this wicked cool slogan shirt.
You can do it. Positive, Positive, Positive! We’re all behind you with those positive thoughts! Now go kick some Weight Watchers butt!
Meh – worry not my friend. I need a shirt that say “Yeah I know…but chocolate rules my world.”
HATE dress shopping. It sucks. Pants hold everything in so much better (at least for me…lol)
No left in Jersey??
Meh – worry not my friend. I need a shirt that say “Yeah I know…but chocolate rules my world.”
HATE dress shopping. It sucks. Pants hold everything in so much better (at least for me…lol)
No left in Jersey??
Beth, Guess what? I finally put my workout clothes to good use. I went today, and you know what?I loved being there. I thought why have I been avoiding this place? And I am pretty sure I felt the same way you do about WW. I felt like a failure because I was gone for so long. I didn’t want to face those people who are more disciplined than me. But really, I am NOT doing it for them, and they could probably care less if I am there or not. So screw ‘em. Wanna come with? I could probably use a WW meeting myself. Where and when do you go?
Jen
Beth, Guess what? I finally put my workout clothes to good use. I went today, and you know what?I loved being there. I thought why have I been avoiding this place? And I am pretty sure I felt the same way you do about WW. I felt like a failure because I was gone for so long. I didn’t want to face those people who are more disciplined than me. But really, I am NOT doing it for them, and they could probably care less if I am there or not. So screw ‘em. Wanna come with? I could probably use a WW meeting myself. Where and when do you go?
Jen
We lived in South Jersey for one year and those stupid left turn thingies plagued me the entire time. Glad to be back home where the streets are easier to navigate and there is an actual turn lane.
We lived in South Jersey for one year and those stupid left turn thingies plagued me the entire time. Glad to be back home where the streets are easier to navigate and there is an actual turn lane.
[...] educational and fun. It’s the perfect little techie gadget. It kept them busy on our 12 hour trip to the East Coast and it has withstood being dropped. Many, many, many [...]
[...] educational and fun. It’s the perfect little techie gadget. It kept them busy on our 12 hour trip to the East Coast and it has withstood being dropped. Many, many, many [...]