The tree is up, the lights are on outside, the stockings hung, the evergreen candle burns.
Yesterday, the Christmas music played, as much as I could stand. We laughed about the holidays with the kids, we clapped at the excitement of the tree being placed in the car.
But I’m just not feeling that typical Christmas excitement that I feel every year. I know, I KNOW this holiday is another expected stumbling block. I KNOW what’s wrong with this year because I know what it’s missing.
But I’m remembering and trying to focus on what isn’t missing. My children. My husband. My home. My family. My friends; all of the blessings in my life. Sometimes, those blessings are in the form of a life, sitting still in my arms telling me how much they love me. Other times, the blessings are in the simplicity of sitting in my living room, listening to the heat kicking on, enjoying the silence of the moment. or of Brian bringing me my coffee in my favorite cup.
I’m so acutely aware of those two little angels who ARE with us, at all times. Yesterday, Ariel was decorating our patio window with Christmas stickers, she put two little birds together. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love seeing birds and butterflies, they instantly make me think of James and Jake. I told Ariel how sweet those two little birds were because they made me think of James and Jake. I typically would have not said that to her, but I said it and that made her so happy. She then placed stars all around the birds and said they were in heaven.
While decorating the tree, I placed two golden butterfly ornaments that I purchased back in September on the tree. The kids instantly said “for James and Jake.” Those boys, they were with us for sure yesterday, while decorating the tree. Maybe not with us in the sense that we’d prefer, but with us, nonetheless.
Every sweet moment of feeling them near us is a moment I treasure and hold with me so tightly.
So, even though I may not be feeling the holiday spirit that I typically feel around this time of year, maybe it’s so I can focus on what’s REALLY important. Not the lights or the gifts or whatever else that can be purchased. But the TRUE gifts, the gifts that can’t be replaced. Whether they are in our arms or in our hearts, those gifts, THOSE GIFTS are the gifts that I want this year.
Nothing else.
I feel their love, their abundant, amazing love. It’s so beautiful; I am so grateful.
I was drawn to check your blog right now in the middle of doing my Christmas cards. I LOVE this post…and I love you. What a special time you had decorating for Christmas. The joy you experienced during that because of your beautiful family surrounding you AND feeling your babes were with you. I love the reminder to focus on our MANY blessings all around us. To truly be conscious of that this season is so important. Lovin’ the butterflies!
I was drawn to check your blog right now in the middle of doing my Christmas cards. I LOVE this post…and I love you. What a special time you had decorating for Christmas. The joy you experienced during that because of your beautiful family surrounding you AND feeling your babes were with you. I love the reminder to focus on our MANY blessings all around us. To truly be conscious of that this season is so important. Lovin’ the butterflies!
You are so wonderful, beautiful and courageous.
I love you.
You are so wonderful, beautiful and courageous.
I love you.
You said it so perfectly. Christmas really is about the true gifts that we all have in our lives. Your little angels are right there with you, always. You may not feel your usual Christmas excitement, but that doesn’t mean that is wrong or that it can’t be a wonderful holiday. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You said it so perfectly. Christmas really is about the true gifts that we all have in our lives. Your little angels are right there with you, always. You may not feel your usual Christmas excitement, but that doesn’t mean that is wrong or that it can’t be a wonderful holiday. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You share such beautiful thoughts. I know you’ll cherish those true gifts every single day. You remind me to do it too.
You share such beautiful thoughts. I know you’ll cherish those true gifts every single day. You remind me to do it too.
May you always be as blessed as you are today.
May you always be as blessed as you are today.
Beautifully written Beth. Thank you for the reminder of what the season is truly about.
Beautifully written Beth. Thank you for the reminder of what the season is truly about.
what a beautiful reminder for all of us to stop and slow down this season and remember the true and lovely gifts of His season. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
what a beautiful reminder for all of us to stop and slow down this season and remember the true and lovely gifts of His season. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
I loved this post — it was beautiful to see this focus on the two wonderful children that you have with you. God Bless you.
I loved this post — it was beautiful to see this focus on the two wonderful children that you have with you. God Bless you.
Absolutely they are there with you – absolutely. Thank you for sharing this very true reflection.
Absolutely they are there with you – absolutely. Thank you for sharing this very true reflection.
Those ornaments are gorgeous, the perfect addition to your tree.
Hugs to you, you are an amazing woman.
Those ornaments are gorgeous, the perfect addition to your tree.
Hugs to you, you are an amazing woman.
What a beautiful post.
What a beautiful post.
This is just the Christmas post I needed to read. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
This is just the Christmas post I needed to read. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
I absolutely love those butterflies. How perfect.
Steph
I absolutely love those butterflies. How perfect.
Steph
You are amazing. What a beautiful post -the ornaments are gorgeous.
You are amazing. What a beautiful post -the ornaments are gorgeous.
Wow. Total goosebumps post. Thank you and well done.
Wow. Total goosebumps post. Thank you and well done.
Those butterflies are so perfect.
Those butterflies are so perfect.
I love how your kids feel it too. I think the fact you expressed what your were thinking to Ariel, in some way helps her too.
I love how your kids feel it too. I think the fact you expressed what your were thinking to Ariel, in some way helps her too.
Dearest Beth…
What a magnificent post. The two golden butterflies in your Christmas tree tell your daughter, and the entire world, all about love and hope. Your words are your great lesson… and everyone is listening, especially James and Jake. They hear and see and love and hope, too. I think of these little words from a William Wordsworth poem, “To A Butterfly”…
What joys awaits you, when the breeze
Hath found you out among the trees,
And calls you forth again!
This speaks to the butterflies, to your little boys… and to you.
Dearest Beth…
What a magnificent post. The two golden butterflies in your Christmas tree tell your daughter, and the entire world, all about love and hope. Your words are your great lesson… and everyone is listening, especially James and Jake. They hear and see and love and hope, too. I think of these little words from a William Wordsworth poem, “To A Butterfly”…
What joys awaits you, when the breeze
Hath found you out among the trees,
And calls you forth again!
This speaks to the butterflies, to your little boys… and to you.
So special. Thanks for sharing.
So special. Thanks for sharing.
The ornaments are gorgeous. Just like your little angel boys!
The ornaments are gorgeous. Just like your little angel boys!
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I always dread picking out Anna’s ornament for the year but once I get it, I love just sitting and looking at them on our tree.
I hope you do have a great Christmas.
I always dread picking out Anna’s ornament for the year but once I get it, I love just sitting and looking at them on our tree.
I hope you do have a great Christmas.
My favorite post ever. It just got better and better as I read on. Your strength is unbelieveable and those little boys are angels in every sense of the word.
The ornaments are PERFECT. So beautiful and so meaningful.
My favorite post ever. It just got better and better as I read on. Your strength is unbelieveable and those little boys are angels in every sense of the word.
The ornaments are PERFECT. So beautiful and so meaningful.
the butterflies are beautiful. what a amazing tribute.
hugs
the butterflies are beautiful. what a amazing tribute.
hugs
beautiful.
beautiful.