Since the memorial service I’ve been to Chicago, Michigan, New Jersey, Los Angeles, Louisville, Indianapolis and Philadelphia.
But I haven’t gone back to church since walking out of the doors on that sad day on March 1. And yes, we went to church nearly every Sunday before that.
Today marks one year since finding out the little baby in my belly was actually two little babies inside my belly. That day, that started out like any other, turned out to be one of the the greatest days of my life, knowing the gift we had been given. Twins. I still can not believe it.
Even though they are not with us today, I still believe those identical twin boys were among the four greatest gifts I have been given in my life. I thank God for them everyday, for the gift they are, the love they have shown us.
I know today is going to be really hard, but I’m also hoping that today we also remember not just the sadness of it all, but also how exciting those days, weeks, months were following December 14th, 2007. They were amazing.
I’ll start out by remembering it all while at church this morning. I’m scared, my heart is racing, I’m probably sweating where I normally don’t sweat, but that’s okay, I’ve got a strong team by my side.
But hey, if you’ve got a spare prayer or positive thought just lying around, feel free to send it in my direction. I know I could use it.
You KNOW we are all there beside you, praying for you and your family, loving James and Jake. Please always share with us your hopes and your fears, your pains and your joys. We are on this road with you as much as we can be, praying for your peace of mind and heart.
You KNOW we are all there beside you, praying for you and your family, loving James and Jake. Please always share with us your hopes and your fears, your pains and your joys. We are on this road with you as much as we can be, praying for your peace of mind and heart.
Thinking of you, your boys and your family today. My twins were much younger gestation-wise than yours when we lost them, but like you, seeing those two beautiful sacs on the ultrasound screen was glorious.
My heart is with you.
Thinking of you, your boys and your family today. My twins were much younger gestation-wise than yours when we lost them, but like you, seeing those two beautiful sacs on the ultrasound screen was glorious.
My heart is with you.
Oh Beth. I just got home from church. My mind kept wandering to my own children and how very much I love them. I will say a prayer for you, your family, your boys. Many blessings.
Oh Beth. I just got home from church. My mind kept wandering to my own children and how very much I love them. I will say a prayer for you, your family, your boys. Many blessings.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts today to you and your family. This day too shall pass. I hope you find some happy memories to hang on to today.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts today to you and your family. This day too shall pass. I hope you find some happy memories to hang on to today.
It is today that tied that seemingly invisible golden thread of two strangers… you and me. I remember reading your story over and over again… each detail of your miracle. Your words leaped off the pages with joy and unbounded happiness. Your words entered the divine… that place that motherhood has the magnificent ability to take us. I will always remember this in my heart and in my soul…
Your little angels James and Jake have taken you all over the world… with your compassion and understanding and love. And yes, your grief. Your journey. Your words have touched thousands… and on this day, December 14th, SIDS/MIS groups around the world memorialize all the angel babies… and I will light a candle in my home for James and Jake, Caroline, Lydia, my baby cousin Edward, and all babies who dance and play in heaven. This day is a very important day of love… and Beth, I think of you and your angel babies today with the greatest love.
It is today that tied that seemingly invisible golden thread of two strangers… you and me. I remember reading your story over and over again… each detail of your miracle. Your words leaped off the pages with joy and unbounded happiness. Your words entered the divine… that place that motherhood has the magnificent ability to take us. I will always remember this in my heart and in my soul…
Your little angels James and Jake have taken you all over the world… with your compassion and understanding and love. And yes, your grief. Your journey. Your words have touched thousands… and on this day, December 14th, SIDS/MIS groups around the world memorialize all the angel babies… and I will light a candle in my home for James and Jake, Caroline, Lydia, my baby cousin Edward, and all babies who dance and play in heaven. This day is a very important day of love… and Beth, I think of you and your angel babies today with the greatest love.
Praying for you, Beth. ((hugs))
Praying for you, Beth. ((hugs))
I’m thinking of you and your family today Beth. Big hugs.
I’m thinking of you and your family today Beth. Big hugs.
Hi ya,
Just stumbled upon your blog today and really thought I should not leave a comment….not “knowing” you and all. But, I just wanted to say from one woman to another, you are a true inspiration and today, when I go about my day….I will think of you and so many others who have lost so much but still manage to live so fully and spread joy to their family and others. I thank you for that~
~Dawn
Hi ya,
Just stumbled upon your blog today and really thought I should not leave a comment….not “knowing” you and all. But, I just wanted to say from one woman to another, you are a true inspiration and today, when I go about my day….I will think of you and so many others who have lost so much but still manage to live so fully and spread joy to their family and others. I thank you for that~
~Dawn
I said a prayer for you this morning on my way to churc. I’m not sure why you popped into my head but you did and I said a prayer for you. Reading this post, I now know why. Praying for you today.
I said a prayer for you this morning on my way to churc. I’m not sure why you popped into my head but you did and I said a prayer for you. Reading this post, I now know why. Praying for you today.
I am proud of you, and I know that if anyone can weather this big step with grace and fortitude, it’s YOU. I am sending all the love, prayers, and light that I have toward you today.
I am proud of you, and I know that if anyone can weather this big step with grace and fortitude, it’s YOU. I am sending all the love, prayers, and light that I have toward you today.
Wow, today is the day you found out about your TWO precious babies….I have a feeling that the memories of certain dates one year ago will just come over you up until the day you delivered James and Jake. This is a special day, sweet friend…and honestly, I cannot think of a better way to start your day than 1) sharing with us about it and 2) going to church (oh, and waking up Ariel, Racecar and Brian is a plus, too!). You are so, so brave and I am VERY proud of you! You will be on my heart often today and in the many days to come. I love you!!
Wow, today is the day you found out about your TWO precious babies….I have a feeling that the memories of certain dates one year ago will just come over you up until the day you delivered James and Jake. This is a special day, sweet friend…and honestly, I cannot think of a better way to start your day than 1) sharing with us about it and 2) going to church (oh, and waking up Ariel, Racecar and Brian is a plus, too!). You are so, so brave and I am VERY proud of you! You will be on my heart often today and in the many days to come. I love you!!
So, so sorry. {{{hugs}}}
So, so sorry. {{{hugs}}}
words fail me…hugs and prayers!
words fail me…hugs and prayers!
You’ve probably already been to church, so I hope it was a healing experience. Thinking of you.
You’ve probably already been to church, so I hope it was a healing experience. Thinking of you.
Since it’s the end of the day, I’m praying that it went well and that you are feeling peace tonight, Beth.
Since it’s the end of the day, I’m praying that it went well and that you are feeling peace tonight, Beth.
Hugs..Think of you often and always saying a prayer to give you the strength you need to make it through each and every day….
Hugs..Think of you often and always saying a prayer to give you the strength you need to make it through each and every day….
Beth,
My girls and I pray for you often, and we’ll definitely continue to do so!! We’ll pray for gentle healing, a joyful holiday season with your hubby and kiddos, a house filled with laughter and memories, and that going to church this morning brings you a lot of peace and hope.
Consider yourself hugged from a fellow Hoosier, and thanks for sharing so intimately with everyone.
Beth,
My girls and I pray for you often, and we’ll definitely continue to do so!! We’ll pray for gentle healing, a joyful holiday season with your hubby and kiddos, a house filled with laughter and memories, and that going to church this morning brings you a lot of peace and hope.
Consider yourself hugged from a fellow Hoosier, and thanks for sharing so intimately with everyone.
Well, church is definitely over by now, but I’m praying today was a very positive experience for you there. It can be a difficult thing to get back into the swing of when you’ve been gone for a while & I’m sure even tougher under your circumstances.
Well, church is definitely over by now, but I’m praying today was a very positive experience for you there. It can be a difficult thing to get back into the swing of when you’ve been gone for a while & I’m sure even tougher under your circumstances.
So proud of you. It doesn’t really matter how it went (though I hope it was everything you hoped for), because you took this step. Another big one in a series of total bravery!
So proud of you. It doesn’t really matter how it went (though I hope it was everything you hoped for), because you took this step. Another big one in a series of total bravery!
I believe you’ve made such an important and courageous step. I pray you felt love and a sense of belonging today. Much love goes out to you!
I believe you’ve made such an important and courageous step. I pray you felt love and a sense of belonging today. Much love goes out to you!
Beth:
I’ve been praying for your broken heart for a while, and will continue at your request.
The God that those of us who love and serve Him gave his only son for us; in an awful, painful and humiliating manner. Perhaps, the only people on earth who have any idea of the magnitude of that sacrifice are parents like you and your husband; those who have loved and lost littles of their own. Bless you sweet girl…
ox, Destiny
Beth:
I’ve been praying for your broken heart for a while, and will continue at your request.
The God that those of us who love and serve Him gave his only son for us; in an awful, painful and humiliating manner. Perhaps, the only people on earth who have any idea of the magnitude of that sacrifice are parents like you and your husband; those who have loved and lost littles of their own. Bless you sweet girl…
ox, Destiny
I’m thinking about you. I hope today went better than you expected.
Love,
Steph
I’m thinking about you. I hope today went better than you expected.
Love,
Steph
I always feel awkward commenting on your blog. But today I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.
I always feel awkward commenting on your blog. But today I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.
I am so, so proud of you. I didn’t expect you to go the very next Sunday. What an amazing step! I am so, so proud of you. I’m praying for you tonight. And I’m headed off to e-mail you…
I am so, so proud of you. I didn’t expect you to go the very next Sunday. What an amazing step! I am so, so proud of you. I’m praying for you tonight. And I’m headed off to e-mail you…
I also gave up church for awhile when I lost my baby, but I can tell you that I think I do better with church than I did without it. I hope it helps you too. Of couse, you and your lovely family are in my prayers, today and all days.
I also gave up church for awhile when I lost my baby, but I can tell you that I think I do better with church than I did without it. I hope it helps you too. Of couse, you and your lovely family are in my prayers, today and all days.