Tomorrow should mark the day I turn nine weeks pregnant.

Instead, yesterday we learned that we lost the heartbeat we saw last week .

I know you didn’t even know about this pregnancy and I’d give anything for this to just be a normal announcement of WEARESOEXCITEDANDSCAREDCANYOUBELIEVE IT?!! But it’s not and there’s not much we can do about this except take each day by the minute.

The pregnancy had signs of trouble for the past three weeks and we were already so guarded, but we still had hope.  After all, I had morning sickness at night, I was so tired I couldn’t see straight, my boobs hurt and I woke up in the middle of the night to pee.  A lot.

And I loved it all so much.

This afternoon I go in for a d&c.  I will share more information when I can actually drink coffee and when I’m not prepping to go to the hospital, for now, this is all I can muster.

Right now, we are numb and wishing so much that this weren’t the case, but this happens and it happens a lot.  We are going to be okay.

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