Tomorrow should mark the day I turn nine weeks pregnant.
Instead, yesterday we learned that we lost the heartbeat we saw last week .
I know you didn’t even know about this pregnancy and I’d give anything for this to just be a normal announcement of WEARESOEXCITEDANDSCAREDCANYOUBELIEVE IT?!! But it’s not and there’s not much we can do about this except take each day by the minute.
The pregnancy had signs of trouble for the past three weeks and we were already so guarded, but we still had hope. After all, I had morning sickness at night, I was so tired I couldn’t see straight, my boobs hurt and I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. A lot.
And I loved it all so much.
This afternoon I go in for a d&c. I will share more information when I can actually drink coffee and when I’m not prepping to go to the hospital, for now, this is all I can muster.
Right now, we are numb and wishing so much that this weren’t the case, but this happens and it happens a lot. We are going to be okay.


























Beth,
I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this again. As you can see by all your comments, that you are very loved and supported. All good wishes, prayers and hugs coming your way.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss Iknow everyone befor me has said there is no words and they are so sorry we all are I wish I could take some of the hurt away for you and your family you are in my thoughts and prays
hugs
Kendra
((Hugs)) I am praying for you. I was unable to view your blog for the last few days…I could yesterday briefly and left a comment on an earlier post, but after I read this entry I got kicked off the internet. Anyway, all that to say that I did not see this until last night and then could not comment. I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so so sorry, Beth. And Im so glad you came.
Hugs. I don’t know what else to say other than my thoughts are with you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had miscarriage too with my first pregnancy and it was quite hard because we were so excited to have a baby. I’ll have you in my prayers.
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Wow. I was supposed to be 9 weeks on February 2, too. Identical twins, no beating hearts. Just wanted you to know I feel your pain. I walk through the halls here at the hospital and look at all of the pregnant nurses and feel this angry jealousy I didn’t know was in me.
Just sad, that’s all.
[...] I’m so blessed to have known them for the 19 weeks, 2 days that I did. Thankfully, I pushed my desire to carry again aside while we explored every avenue medically as to why this happened, especially after an early loss last January. [...]