We had thunderstorms yesterday.  Rain, wind, thunder and lightning.  It was so dramatic and so appropriate.  When I woke up to the darkness yesterday morning, it was foggy and I have to admit, I got a little “why me-ish” on the weather, like “why can’t it be sunny today, today of ALL days?“  But that thought and that attitude went away with the fog, I found the weather to be perfect, just like our day.

We didn’t do anything.

Brian stayed home, we didn’t work, we didn’t really clean or do laundry, we just existed as a family.  We went to lunch, the four of us and then headed to Target for essentials, toilet paper, toothpaste, laundry detergent, you know, one of those trips.

We came home.  Ariel made bracelets with the new beads she got at Target, Racecar played Wii,  Brian played with Racecar.  I sat at my computer, checked email,  read comments and laid down on the couch and counted my blessings.

We picked up Papa John’s and sat in the living room and started to watch American Idol, we put the kids to bed and then a thunderstorm rolled through, just in time for their bedtime.  Now, Racecar is much like his father in that thunderstorms do not phase him at all, he could not care less.  Ariel, on the other hand is very much like her mother who needs to know every detail about the storm because WHAT IF THERE IS A TORNADO?  She’s very scared of storms.

Brian and I eventually laid in our bed with her, when the storm passed, while she was still awake, we put her back to bed, but Brian and I continued to lay on our bed and we fell asleep.

My final thought before dozing was one year ago, in just forty minutes, the boys exited my body.  I remember being in labor and feeling their descent and crying not because of the pain but because my moments carrying them was soon to be over.  I cherished carrying them so much, the realization that it was minutes away from being over was devastating.

I fell asleep after that and woke up at eleven.  I brushed my teeth, went downstairs, turned of the lights and crawled back in bed.

Yesterday was perfection.  It was exactly the way it was supposed to be.

All of you made such a difference in our day and in our hearts.  We could feel the love and prayers that surrounded us and that helped to fill us with peace.  James and Jake are our most perfect angels.  I don’t know why they were taken from us, and I’d give anything to have them here in our arms, but we feel incredibly privelidged that they are ours, even in their heavenly form.  It is better to have loved and lossed then to never have loved at all. These words are so true.

Thank you for being with us yesterday and today and during our entire journey, you bless us.  Every day.

______________________________________

Many posts were written about James and Jake and our family yesterday and I wanted to share them with you:

First of all, my Mom started a blog this week, she wrote a post about yesterday.  I hope you head over there and not only read her post, but also welcome her to the blog world.

Thea is doing this incredibly AWESOME thing to celebrate her two year blogoversary, where she is donating  $1 to Team James and Jake (up to $250!!!!)  for every comment that is left on this post.  Plus by leaving a comment you are entered to win a $50 gift card to anywhere you want.  This is so incredible – please, flood her post with comments!

Stephanie wrote here and here, Christy’s post, Arianne’s, Melissa’s and Lisa’s.  These words are so meaningful to me, thank you all so much.

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