I have been having the craziest dreams. Some are completely disturbing and some are just silly, but mostly, they are disturbing.
In real life, I am hosting a Pampered Chef Fundraiser Party for Team James and Jake tonight. The idea is that rather than hosting a show and earning free products, Pampered Chef will instead donate a portion of the sales to Team James and Jake. It’s a fun way to raise money.
(edited to add: a few of you have asked if virtual friends can place an order from the show and the answer is yes, if you are interested, just email me and I’ll send along the details. You will, however, have to have it directly shipped to you – firstname.lastname@example.org – also, if you live in the area, come on over!)
Yesterday, Brian and I went shopping for the goodies for tonight’s party. Cheese, vegetables, fruit, meatballs, vanilla vodka and my beloved Miller Lite. You know, your run of the mill “party” foods.
I went to bed feeling nice and prepared for tonight’s party, but then I had a dream. A terrible dream that has knocked my confidence and my feelings of preparedness into the water.
First of all, in my dream, way too many people showed up. People I didn’t even invite. Then they arrived too early. Then there were two owls in the tree by my front door who wouldn’t stop staring and “who-ing” at people as they arrived.
Because everyone arrived too early, I didn’t have a chance to get all of the food and drinks out, but everyone arrived REALLY hungry and REALLY thirsty. I wound up trying to make Hamburger Helper (!!) but couldn’t find my bowls (bowls?) to serve it in because when everyone arrived I was rearranging my kitchen and I couldn’t find where I had shoved everything.
All of the guests just showed up and sat down. Some in the kitchen, some in the living room and some in the garage. While I was running around trying to get everyone satisfied, they openly talked about how sweaty and unprepared I was.
Even my Grandma was there, who passed away over ten years ago, but she didn’t judge, she sat on the couch and just observed. She wanted a glass of white wine. I served it to her happily and in my best crystal wine glass.
Nobody would get their own drinks or their own food and nobody offered to help with anything. They all just sat and watched me.
I also recall, in my dream, people asking for MY precious Miller Lite, even though we had so many great foreign and domestic beers available all they wanted was MY beer. Before the party was even scheduled to start, my beer was gone. I silently cried as I continued to get the food prepared.
My Pampered Chef consultant arrived late and when she did she laid down on the living room floor and starting nursing her newborn with her shirt wide open. I know this because I had to step over her while I was serving people their Hamburger Helper in a bowl. (and no, she doesn’t have a newborn and she’s also NEVER late.)
Then my sister Sarah showed up. I was so excited because she’s such a great helper but she just told me that since I decided to have this party, I was on my own and that she has to go because she had to skip school.
This dream means one of two things: first, it could mean that I’m really much more unprepared than I realize and that I should get moving rather than writing this damn post. or two, it could mean that no matter what happens tonight, even if only three people show up (which is totally possible) that it’s okay, it will still turn out better than how it turned out in my dream.
But whatever happens, there better be some Miller Lite left over for me.