Comments on: On Grief

By: Wendy

Wendy — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:16:21 +0000

By some miracle, I found this post when looking up ways to cope with grief. I’ve been through my fair share of grief, and am going through it yet again.
I will never forget our lost babies, and the pain will never fully go away. Your advice is priceless and perfect. People don’t realize that we WANT to remember.
Now I am struggling to reconcile the loss of my grandmother, who was as much a mom to me as anyone else. She was my best friend.

By: ymK

ymK — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 18:44:08 +0000

I was directed to your blog through another blog, and I came here expecting great pictures.
I did not expect to read about your loss. I am so sorry. I don’t have any words to express my feelings right now, but yours posts made me cry uncontrollably.
I hope your heart finds peace.

By: Nell @ Casual Friday Every Day

Nell @ Casual Friday Every Day — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:56:01 +0000

I wish this post would have been around 3 1/2 years ago when my family was dealing with the crime my brother committed. Sure, we didn’t lose our loved one to death, but it was very similar… if not worse in some ways. And then again when my Mother tried to kill herself. People just ignored our pain, because it was awkward for them, I’m sure.

I can’t believe someone would say to you that at you have other children! How heartless! And how disconnected. If they were really living in your moment, they would never say such a thing.

And I couldn’t agree with you more about this one, “-Saying everything happens for a reason isn’t any better.”

Everything doesn’t happen for a reason, in my opinion. Good can come out of pain, but to say it happens for a reason means that death was somehow God’s plan. And God would never take your babies from you and put you through that!

Nell

By: Zak

Zak — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 08:54:41 +0000

Your loss just breaks my heart. I hate that people are insensitive and I hate that you don’t have your babies here with you.

By: Chelsea

Chelsea — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 05:05:59 +0000

Great, great post. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experiences.

By: Heather

Heather — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:45:17 +0000

Beth, I’ve learned so much from your grief and the open heart you have had during the past year. I’ve learned to be a better friend for those that I love who are experiencing this immeasurable pain. You have helped more people than you know with your honesty. Love to you, girl.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:40:46 +0000

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. I always appreciate when people articulate what helps/doesn’t help them in their grief, so I can minister to my friends better. A friend of mine just suffered her 2nd miscarriage in 2 years, and has a little girl, and I can’t imagine saying, “At least you have her.” I’m glad you shared that. I have said, “God has a plan in this”, but I do feel like it’s taken as a cliche at the time, and probably not the right thing to say. I also love your comments about emailing/calling, but not expecting the person to return the calls, that’s such a great thing to know.

One question for you: I often start to say/type something like: “I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine your pain” and what I mean by that is that I feel for them & my heart breaks for them, so I can’t imagine the level of heartbreak that they’re feeling, but since I’ve never been through that same grief they’re going through, does it sound like I’m saying that I can’t imagine their pain because I’ve never been through it, in a stuck up way? I guess what I’m asking is, would the above statement encourage you or bother you? Thanks for posting this, so much – praying for your family!

By: Amy C

Amy C — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:06:01 +0000

Thanks for such a well-said post. After having two miscarriages last year, I have been comforted by the people who said the right things, or maybe just didn’t say anything…specific, that is. I was comforted by the calls, by the visits, by the cards. I’m not so comforted by awkward silences, or people trying to sound bright and cheery (ie, lady in your doctor’s office…grrrr). I’m sure you spoke to many of your readers hearts in this post.

By: Texan Mama

Texan Mama — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:51:29 +0000

Thanks for this post. I was directed here by another friend. I really needed it today. Today my best friend’s husband finally lost his battle with brain cancer after a 12 year struggle. She is only 37. I don’t know what to say to her, but your post helped me really think.

By: Gillie

Gillie — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:17:41 +0000

I think this is the third time I have tried to leave a comment on this entry so if it shows up somewhere three times I am so sorry.

This was a wonderful entry. I have done similar entries in the past but am glad to see someone else do one as well. It is a public service to help people know what to say or what NOT to say.

I am so sorry for your loss. I will not say I know how you feel I can only say I know I how felt and it sucked!

Please feel free to visit.
http://mymonthlyheartbreak.blogspot.com/