I rarely, rarely talk about this, especially this openly. (to anyone, let alone on my blog) But um…I have baby fever. Deep, intense, physical baby fever.
I’m frustrated because I also don’t know if we are going to try again. We also don’t have the results from any of our tests from the specialist, we don’t even know IF we should try again. or even if we can. And we won’t know anything for another month.
So, I need to hold this urge for pregnancy and babyhood at bay. I need to focus this energy on something else. So, I’m having a garage sale this weekend.
Then I’ll officially be too busy to think about having another child.
Until I come across that bag of baby clothes or the baby toys on the shelf that I’ve been storing. Do I sell? Do I save?
Honestly, I have the deepest, darkest fear that we’ll be advised to not have any more children. And I can’t imagine what that pain, that crushing news will feel like.
I can’t focus on that right now. I have a garage to clean and a basement filled with junk to sort through.
but oh, my heart.
The thoughts are always there, no matter how silent I am.
Oh, how I can relate as well. Except I’m feeling this very strongly, and my husband is positive we are ‘done’. I’m so saddened, but still praying God will change his heart :> Anything is possible.
I am sorry you are having to wait to find out about another one. Whatever you find out though, you may find that the richest opportunity is wide open to you, and that God has a plan for you that you otherwise couldn’t appreciate if you hadn’t been through what you have. Thanks for being so strong and sharing with the world about your struggles.
I hear you. Baby fever is practically impossible to get over. I hope you get good news.
I’m praying for peace for you, no matter what happens. I just wanted you to know that…
I’m praying for you!
May God bless you
Praying that the Lord will give you peace with whatever the results are. As for the garage sale, good luck. That is definitely a good way to keep your mind occupied. *hugs*
I hope the tests and all that come back that you’re just fine and can move ahead with your baby-making plans. *huge hugs*
I know it’s not much, but I pray every single night for those tests to come back with positive results. Let me know if you need help with anything for this weekend, okay? Love you.
I waited 4 years for my no.3. I know the pain of not knowing if/when you’ll have another baby.
I’m sending you some hugs from here. I just can’t imagine what you’re going through
Oh, Girl, I have the fever, too. Like CRAZY! I feel like it’s consuming me. We haven’t had any kids yet, and it’s like every time I turn around, someone else is pregnant. And I keep asking ‘When is it my turn?’ People keep telling me to be patient, that it’ll happen when the time is right. And I hear that. But that only comforts me so much. The need to have a child of my own is so incredibly strong. To feel that love between a mother and her child. I see friends with their own children and long for it. So, anyway, you are so NOT alone. *hugs*
Wow…I’ll be praying for your heart’s desire! With each of my two children I left the hospital already ready to have another one. My husband and I have been separated and are now reconciled. Our marriage isn’t stable. Our finances are nonexistent and I STILL want to have another baby. I don’t know if we ever will either and the thought is crushing. I’m glad you’re staying busy! You can come right over to NC and have a garage sale for me too if you want
You are not alone. We lost our fourth child back in December (on Christmas Day to be exact). I thought that for sure, we would be pregnant again, by now, but no. And, my husband is not, currently, wanting to try for another. Soooooo, my “baby fever” is there and with no remedy. . . . except the love of Christ. I know that He has great plans for me and our family and that ultimately, even if I cannot see it, He filtering everything through HIS fingers of love before it even touches us. I’ve also been praying for my husband’s and my hearts to become one with God’s will even if it means my heart is the one that has to change, not just to get my way. Finally, I rest in Philippians 4: 8-9 “Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is exellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. . . . And the God of Peace will be with you.” And, sometimes, in grief this verse is the only noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy thing about which I can think, so I just meditate on it (which is why I know it so well, ha!).
Anyway, sorry for the long post, you are in our prayers.
Karie
That’s hard. I have a longing for another baby in the worst way – worse than ever before. It’s been tough and I have been told more than once by different doctors that A was a “miracle baby.” I have a procedure today which may get us on our way to another baby. We’ll see. Belive me, you are not alone in your struggle and longing. ((((HUGS))))
I’m thinking of you… I couldn’t do a garage sale because I couldn’t face the basement full of cribs, toys, clothes… I am so sad that I may never use them again. We have been waiting for 2 years for our third… I will pray for good news for your family.
Waiting around for those results has to be so hard. I’m so sorry that you have to do that. Hopefully everything will come back the way you hope.
Oh I totally understand. We had a garage sale this past weekend and I had ALL my baby stuff out there for the taking. It was emotional, but after working for so many days to get ready for the sale I just wanted it GONE. I think you’ll know when the time is right. I would say – don’t sell anything you’re not sure about. Ariel and Racecar will continue to accumulate things… I”m sure you can have ANOTHER garage sale in a couple of years!
so, I totally know HOW you feel but on a much different level. You have a much harder situation than me but I have some of the same questions going through my mind…can I have a baby, I really want one, etc. We have been “trying” for 8 months to have a baby but I stopped getting my period 4 mo ago for NO APARENT reason. Nope, not pregnant. I know that isn’t very long to try but when I was younger I didn’t get my period for 6 mo at a time again for NO APARENT REASON. I fear that I may not be able to have kids, etc. I know God knows and I do trust Him but yet I still have the same fears and anxieties in my heart. As I pray over the matter today, I will pray for you as well. Thanks for reading as I babble on.
I am so sorry for your turmoil.
I think I would either sell your smaller baby things like clothes. Save your very favorites. But then when you do have another you can go garage saling/thrifting just for that baby. That is part of the fun of having a new one. I have 8 and I only save baby clothes long enough to see what the next one is. If that baby is a different gender I either give away or sell all the old stuff.
I do keep all the equipment. I wouldn’t get rid of that until you know 100% your womb is done.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
My heart aches with you. Praying for your family!
As many times in my life I say “done” and “not preventing but not actively trying” I still get that baby wish.
I hope that they can get you those answers quicker so you can get to a point where you can discuss it with the information you need. I know I shouldn’t have more, I’d probably bust *(hernia?) but part of me wonders what if. when I sit here looking at the kids growing up it’s hard to know when to say when?
As for the baby stuff, keep a few outfits that you want to remember your kids wearing? sell and make space for new because new is fun,
Sending prayers for you! I hope that you get answers soon.
I’m believing for good news for you, but in the mean time you are smart to have a garage sale. I had one on the spur of the moment the Saturday before Memorial Day and was surprised at how much I made just cleaning out closets.
Your words bring me to actual, physical tears. I can feel the ache across the internet. Big hugs.
Sell all the baby stuff and then WHEN you do get pregnant, all of us internet crazies will throw you the BIGGEST, BAD-ASSEST cyber baby shower- EVER. Promise.
I appreciate your honesty so much, Beth. So, so much. My heart is thinking about you so much lately and I really hope you get news from the specialist that allows you to fill your house up with babies. Love to you.
We have been trying for a baby for almost 4 years and I’m getting to the point where I feel it will never happen. I’m trying to be okay with it, but it is very hard. Know that you are blessed to have those two precious kids and those two beautiful angels looking down on you. If it is meant for you to have another, you will.
I’m thinking of you and my heart is breaking for you. I wish your heart peace (((((((HUGS)))))))
With you on the baby fever. And when mine gets bad it seems like EVERYONE around me is pregnant.
Reading this with tears because I find myself in a similiar situation. I feel the baby fever coming (my youngest is 9 mo.) but due to a life threatening medical condition after the birth of the last one, I have been told by several drs. that I would be risking my life to have another…. I am currently taking a medication that can be deadly for a baby so getting pregnant right now is not even an option, but I will only be on this medication for another 3 months, then will have lots of tests to determine my risk for the same complication again. THEN we will be able to revisit the possiblity of another child. But, oh how it hurts my heart to know that there probably won’t be any more. Just thinking about it sometimes does me in and leaves me in tears. I do have to say that one thing that this situation has done is cause me to truly cherish the 3 I do have.
Will pray that you get your answers quickly and that whatever the answer is, God will give you the strength to get thru it.
Oh, what a difficult feeling. That is so difficult. SAVE those clothes, though, don’t toss them – you can never tell what God is going to do in your family.
And I understand that maternal, baby fever. My littlest one is only 18 months, but I’ve had baby fever for probably 5 months now, and every little baby is just so sweet, and their little cries are irresistible. I was almost brought to tears in the WIC office yesterday by a less-than-a-week-old baby boy crying….oh, so sweet.
Praying for you, that God will fulfill your deepest desires!
I’ll just say I understand. I haven’t been through even a fourth of what you’ve been through but I have a hubby who decided that no kids was perfect for us then after we had been married for 7 years we ended up expecting a birth control baby and 12 months after she was born we ended up expecting birth control baby #2 so this time, I’ve agreed to have a permanent end put to these unexpected blessings – I think two is perfect for us so it’s ok, but it’s also so hard. Hubby is an awesome Dad and nothing can separate him from the kids once they are here – but those nine months of waiting… pure torture while I endure his frustration about the coming joy. All that baby fever I had after our first few years of marriage – seems somewhat unrequited by not having my Husband enjoy the pregnancy and anticipation with me.
Sorry for that long, off-topic discourse, at 38 weeks I’m a bit scattered and hormonal… any day now! I’m hoping the doctors let you try again – if they don’t you’ll be getting virtual hugs from me.
((HUGS)) I have 3 kids that are the love of my life but they drive me crazy. I was packing up some of their small clothes and my 12 month old daughter’s clothes. Those little newborn outfits and 3 month outfits. OH man. I was getting the itch right then and there. But I know that 3 is it for me. But in the back of my mind I was thinking that maybe I should give the clothes away but then maybe I might get “jinxed” and get pregnant and have to buy all new clothes.
Did that make sense?
Isn’t that how life usually is? We get rid of something and then we need it?
I say dump all the clothes in bins- price them at a dollar and leave room for bargaining and make out with some money. Maybe in a few months you will “regret” having sold those clothes.
Have a great day~
I sense your baby fever. I feel it for you.
Steph
I’m with you on this one sister..
I am so with you on this. I really want another child now and badly. Three of my friends just had more kids 1 used a surrogate and she had twins. I have a daughter who is three and we did IVF got lucky or it was just Gods Will on the first time. We were on a big time roller coaster before that trying ourselves, going to dr’s, other failed treatment. My point, have faith remember you are not alone and doctors are not god. (My hubby is a doc and always reminded me how there was no set scientific method for who gets preggo on there own and there specialists) I can give you the name of one of it not the best specialist in country his success rate is 50% first time so if it does not work the first try it will work the second. Please feel free to email me anytime to talk, listen vent or whatever.
Well of course you have baby fever. I pray that the doctor comes back with some good news and you can add to your beautiful family. I will give you some good baby vibes in Chicago
My heart is with you on this one friend.
my thoughts are with you… you are incredibly strong.
Me too. But it isn’t the doctors telling me I can’t have another–It’s my husband. Oh but, he says we can practice all we want.
oh, beth. praying that your deepest, darkest fear will not be realized.
and can i just tell you how awesome you are?! what if we could all just type out our deepest, darkest fears and support each other lovingly??
I have the worst baby fever, and we are waiting another year before we even think about trying. I love garage sales, but seeing all the wonderful clothes is hard. You can get through this, you know in time you will know what to do.