Of the heart
ByThe appointment today went really well. It was a beautiful day in the Windy City and believe it or not, it was actually windy.
Also? I hate wind. But that’s another post for another day. Actually, it’s not, I’m sure I’ll never post about wind because I hate it and have nothing to say about it except I HATE WIND, THE END. So, that’s all my post would be and I just wrote that.
Anyway.
The appointment was slightly strange in that I met with the nurse first and then a doctor came in before the head doctor came in. The first doctor came in actually asked me all of the questions and got all of my information. (just after the nurse got all of my information and asked me all of the questions.)
As I’m sure you can imagine, or maybe you can’t, these appointments are not fun simply because I have to fill them in of our history. I was pregnant with twins. They died. We don’t know what happened. I miscarried again this past January, it’s believed that the two losses are not related, but we are working on finding the answers. We have two children that are alive. I am on 392 different medications, no I don’t smoke, and no I don’t exercise.
The first doctor: So, do you exercise?
Me: No…I don’t. and I make a face like I regret it, but really? I don’t.
Him: Why don’t you exercise?
Me: I don’t know, because it’s hard.
Him: You don’t exercise because it’s hard?
Me: Right.
Him: Well, I guess if it were easy and fun everyone would do it and we would never be in this situation.
Me: EXACTLY.
Him: hmmmm….
Then the big dog doctor comes in:
Him: so, have you always had high blood pressure?
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I HAVE ANSWERED THIS QUESTION 12 TIMES IN THE PAST 18 MINUTES. Also, why am I wearing a hospital gown, exactly? Except I did not say that, instead “I started getting high blood pressure when I was pregnant with my oldest, it runs in my family. Everyone has high blood pressure, they’re all a bunch of jerks.”
Him: I see you are on prozac.
Me: Right.
Him: When did you lose the twins?
Me: Last February, 2008.
Him: And when did you most recently miscarry?
Me: January.
Him: And you’re on prozac.
Me: Yes.
Him: and you lost the twins, when?
Me: OHMYGOD, LAST FEBRUARY.
Him: Do you think you still need the prozac.
At this point I was pretty annoyed, but understood that he looked up Prozac and found the drug to not be safe during pregnancy and wanted me off of it. However, I explained that most OB/GYN’s say it’s safe and he said “hey, they know more than I do.”
At which point, he became my friend again. Good visit. I go back in two weeks, he gave us the green light to try whenever we (us and the OB specialist) decide it’s time. (by the way, I do not talk about these things, you know, about trying and all of that, this is a BIG DEAL that I’m sharing this information. I hope you are feeling my love for you, man.)
They did increase my BP meds because my blood pressure was high today.
When the first doctor handed me my prescription for the new dose of blood pressure medicine at the end of the visit, I asked him if he could write me a prescription for exercise in a pill.
He laughed and walked out the door and I’m pretty sure he said he hated me.
But that’s okay. I thought we got along famously.
Wow. That does sound stressful. The doctor sounds a bit like a moron, but I hope they figure out what is going on and what happened. I take Zoloft and they said that was definitely safer than the Paxil I was on when I first found out I was pregnant. I mean, I am not pregnant now. My son is 2 1/2, but I was told at that time…well, you know what I mean.
I’m hoping it all works out and some sense is made of it all.
doctors are …well not always helpful. I’ve learned that you really have to take your health care as your responsibility because half the time they dont. arg. and I truly encourage you to find the time to exercise. It will make a world of difference. A stronger body makes a stronger mind and it’s a snowball effect. It will be worth it, I promise.
Thanks for sharing your heart with us. I think it helps to get it out in the open and let everyone know how you feel! I’m praying for you….
I hope that all this rigamaroll helps you find some answers or at least peace.
Well, I’m glad you got the green light. But that doctor’s a piece of work, huh? Wow. Thank you for sharing all that. Sending you big hugs, Beth. xoxoxo
Oh my goodness. That whole exercise bit gave me a good laugh! It can be really hard to share these experiences – I have not yet been able to. I’ll keep praying for your appointment next week!
my MIL explained exercise to me, she said she could eat what ever she wanted and when ever before she had kids, then one day realized she should be feedng the kids better and exercising. She said that’s when it all wentdown hill! So sometimes it’s better not to start if you hve a great system already. LOL
this gave me more information then before, and uh yeah trying can be fun, not trying and oopsing is fun too.
I think it is crazy what life hands us. I’m sorry you have to see all of these doctors. I wish they had answers for you that were cut and dry. Thinking positive thoughts for you as you continue this journey.
Why you crack me up.
doctor visit: funny. do you still need your prozac? HA. i have been taking wellbutrin for about two years. hello. never giving the stuff up. after years of being moody, mean, and sad ~ finally feeling happy, laughy, nice. in all seriousness: i hope your *trying* works and all goes well. much love…
I’m sorry they make you rehash all that info so much but I’m glad to hear that you kept your sense of humor. Laughter may not be THE best medicine but it’s a pretty good one. Hugs Beth!
The worst part of doc visits is repeating yourself one thousand times…. so glad they gave you the green light. We will be saying many prayers for you and the man and the future.
I don’t understand why doctors think it’s okay to say 1/2 the stuff that comes out of their mouths. Ugh.
I just found your blog recently, so let me say I’m so sorry for your losses. I’d “still need” the prozac, too.
shit… if they would JUST LISTEN. that’s all.
You are quite a funny lady! I enjoy you…thanks for sharing!
Beth – I just cringe for you. Having been through some infertility issues I’ve decided that there really isn’t any “bedside manner” anymore…it just feels like stats, data, number-crunching, wins, and losses to them. When they’re being particularly rude and insensitive, I’ve tried crackin’ wise that we’re batting .500 – two kids and 2 m/c’s and that usually gets their attention)
As long as you came away feeling good about trying again, then that’s all that matters.
Frustrating. Thanks for feeling okay about sharing with all of us.
I can go pop that exercise lovin’ doctor if you’d like. It sounds like he might need it.
I love you babe, and hope all the lights are green from now.
smfd & xoxoxox
We spend a lot of time in the hospital with all different types of doctor’s. A lot of them need to work on their bedside manner.
I’m so glad to hear that it went fairly well. Good luck, I have my fingers crossed for you
.
Hi Beth,
I am totally terrified of going to the doctor- you make me feel less afraid. You live in the light and not in the darkness. I learn so much from you.
Awesomeness= YOU!
I am with you on the wind…I HATE IT TOO! Glad the doctor’s visit turned out good on your side at least! Sometimes doctor’s are more of a pain in the a** then helpful!
If you get the exercise in a pill, pass some on to me!
And yeah, some doctors have serious issues. I’ve been really lucky with ours. I hope you find someone that has a better bedside manner and actually, I don’t know, READS THE CHART.
You know the first doctor loves you and went home to his wife and told the story of how funny you were. You should bring him a friendship bracelet next visit to celebrate your bond. Then when he asks if you exercise and you say no, he’ll say, “Good, let’s go out for ice cream!” because that’s what friends do.
Can I just say you are awesome! Sign me up for that exercise in a pill!
This is all going to work out for you, I know it.
P.S. My husband is 30 and takes blood pressure meds. His father, uncle, grandpa and grandmother all take it as well. Can’t be helped.
I am glad you had a good appointment. Those kind of appts are the worst. I hate the million and one questions and then repeating my answers over and over (and over).
You are in my thoughts and prayers as you go down the TTC journey once more. I do believe, from my own personal infertility issues, that bedside manner among doctors in relation to this is just lacking.
I’ll cut a bitch-ass MD if I have to, for you. Because I’d do anything for you, sugar pants. LOVE.
The dialogue made me laugh though I think I was crying a bit on the inside . . . your strength is inspiring.
Thanks for sharing. I emailed you in Apr after losing my twin girls at 22 weeks. It’s comforting to know what you’re going through, because after two m/c’s and the loss of the girls, I’m heading in the same direction. Although, I really hope I can avoid the driving of the drump truck into my vagina thing…
working out is hard. and this is funny. thanks.
I am glad your appointment went as good as expected. And I would love to be your fitness coach if only I lived closer to you. I’d pull your ass to the gym in a heartbeat or run with you outside. Remember how much you loved me after that? Ah – beatings are good! What happened to the shredding?
Wow. Sounds like that was fun. I’m glad you got the green light to try again.
And, wow, wonder why your blood pressure was high??? 
What a tough visit. I’m glad it’s over. 
Love the humor you can find in these stressful situations. Doctors are annoying like that, they must teach it in medical school. Good luck with everything!
I haven’t read all of the comments, so maybe someone else suggested this, but maybe your blood pressure was up because of ALL THE QUESTIONS? My gosh.
Anyway, I totally get that what you are sharing about the trying is a really big deal. Thanks for letting us in on that. Thoughts and prayers your way, mama.
Your BP was really high today. This was NEWS? lol I mean, okay, you have a history for it, you’re on medication for it, I’m pretty sure you probably shouldn’t have had a high BP because of the meds, but HELLO, this appointment is pretty important, you’d be nervous, OF COURSE it’d be high? DUH!
Who do I have to choke for being a dumbass??? Okay, well, maybe I won’t, since you may need this doctor-n-all later. So I’ll reserve the right to choke these people after all is said and done, deal?
*hugs* momma
You crack me up!! Glad the appointment went well!!
I am sorry for your (yet) resultless efforts but I wish you good luck and good health for the future.
Should you discover the pill with exercises, please let me know immediately!!! That could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship =))
yeah, i’ve been saying, “yeah, i really need to start exercising” and i realize now – that i’ve been saying it for about 15 years! (former athlete that i am.)
that was a great post.
I haven’t worked out since I had kids. I am too tired in the morning from one of them waking me up at night (I think they have some sort of schedule where they take turns) and at night I am too tired from taking care of them all day!
Good news lovie, praying for more…
I HATE those round and round conversations with a doctor. I will be praying for answers.
I’m saying a special prayer for you tonight, Beth. I love you, lazy ass!
I’m convinced most doctors suck. And the first one most certainly sucked. Big time. I could say worse, but I don’t want to on your blog. If you want me to go off on that jerk, just email me.
You’re awesome. That is all.
)
my favorite part is that you totally make a face like you regret not working out, when you totally don’t regret….hilarious. well, i love that part AND the part where you can try baby-making. i’m praying for you.
Super 4th – this is for the pic of the 2 girls with the sparklers – no flash…
Carol in FL