I have this thing called “no patience.” It’s really annoying. I try and try and sometimes I’m “fake” patient, which means I go into another room while biting my fist while no one is looking and then come back into a room with a smile on my face like “oh, were we waiting to do something?”
But deep inside, I’m screaming because waiting? CAN SUCK IT.
I have been very busy doing designs lately, which is really good except that it’s mixed in with everything I’m trying to get done which I pretty much fail at as it is. I’m figuring out that I can not do work on my couch any longer. I must sit at a desk or the table.
We have a great desk in the office, but my kids like to sit there and color and play games on the computer, which is okay with me because then THEY ARE QUIET and quiet is gooooooooooooooooood. We do not disturb the quiet.
I can sit at the kitchen table and I do, but it’s so uncomfortable. It just is, trust me.
So, yesterday morning I remembered that we have a really cool desk in our basement. I’ve been hesitant to bring it up because I wasn’t sure where I was going to put it, but yesterday I finally decided that I would have to stuff it into our living room for the sake of getting some work done efficiently.
I went downstairs and uncovered the desk, it was covered with books and crap and surrounded by chairs and suitcases and other very heavy and annoying things. I finally made it to the desk and lifted it and all I thought was “wow, this is one heavy desk.”
But I persevered. I carried the desk to the front of the stairs where I got the leg of the desk caught on the glider that Brian sits on while playing video games. I should have set the 500 pound desk down on the ground and moved the glider, instead I lifted it higher up to try to set it free from the glider’s grip (think she-ra meets somebody really, really dumb) and pulled the desk which caused the glider to fall, directly onto my ankle.
It hurt.
But I continued. I was on a mission. I MUST SET UP A PROPER WORK STATION FOR ME AND I MUST DO IT RIGHT NOW. (NOT IN SIX HOURS WHEN BRIAN IS HOME)
When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I sized up the size of the desk with the width of the stairs and decided that Yes! It will fit.
I climbed the stairs, turned the desk on it’s side and pulled it up, one step at a time, scraping the backside of the beautiful desk against the wooden stairs. (I swear, I’m not an idiot, I’m just an idiot sometimes.) After a few minutes and sweat, MY GOD THE SWEAT, I made it to the top of the stairs where I couldn’t get it through the door.
Between the door, the door frame, the stair case rail and the massive desk itself, I could not get it through. I tried endlessly, I even left the desk at the top of the stairs, praying it wouldn’t fall, to get a drill to remove a leg. I instructed the kids to not move for fear their movement would send the desk cascading down the stairs.
I made it back with the drill but there were SOMANYSCREWS. And angles and no way could I do this. Especially while on stairs.
I tried for another ten minutes but it seemed the more I tried, the more stuck I got on the stairs. And the more I tried, the more holes and scrapes I was putting into the drywall.
And then it happened. It got stuck. And I was at the bottom of the desk looking up and had to climb through the legs to get back upstairs.
Where I promptly shut the door behind me, wiped the sweat from my brow and sat back down at my kitchen table.
And pretended that this wasn’t laying, stuck, on my stairs.
Where it sits, still, 24 hours later.
Getting work done is overrated. I’m going to the park.
Oh and when Brian got home late last night, I was all like, so I was going to move the desk upstairs and he was all “oh really, where to?“ and I was all “into the living room, see? I cleared out a space.“ To which he replied “nice!“ and then I opened the door to the basement and was all “hey, look down here!”
And then he looked at the desk and looked back at me and didn’t seem surprised at all.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while.
It would be funnier if I hadn’t done the exact same thing…
twice.
Oh my goodness – this is so something “I” would do! LOL Once I get something in my brain, it has to be done NOW, no matter how impossible it is. Gotten myself in to trouble many a time.
That is so me! I wanted to take the table that was outside and move it to the basement so I tried…by myself…as usual. I got it stuck in the doorway of the back porch and had to call my Dad to come over and help me because Jeramy was out of town working!
Oh Beth…I had a good laugh and now must tell you that I did the SAME thing with my dresser…I got a new one and didn’t want to wait for Hubby to get home and tried to do it myself. Didn’t work, and he still gives me a hard time. lol
OK, this is SO me too. I must have the thing done right now…when I think of it…
I have learned how to use all sorts of power tools this way, though. There have been good things to come out of it. But mostly, odd looks and big sighs from my husband!
Chuckle! How did the desk get into the basement to begin with? This sounds so much like me. If you live long enough patience will eventually wash over you like fatique . . . or you will learn from your experiences and make different choices. Eventually, you will be very, very wise and have many solutions to these kinds of problems.
It’s a shame your laundry room isn’t in the basement.
I once took the washing machine apart because the diamond from my ring dropped down into the little holes in the bottom, only to discover that there’s a little basket in back to catch those things. I had to get my dad to help me put it back together.
You are FUNNY!
hahaha i still have a huuuge dresser stuck in my closet for like 3 days ago. ROFL. getting work done IS way overrated!
You are my favorite person of the day.
Ha! You crack me up! So something I would do.
I was really anticipating the outcome of this story and I am not disappointed. I may have just peed my pants a little bit. You’re funny, Beth!
Ok, you just made me giggle. This so sounds like something I would be capable of doing or have done, lol
That is freakin’ hilarious! Looks like some pretty good scratches in the wall there. And I love that you told waiting to suck it. I’m still giggling as I type this.
Whew! Oh well – it IS a nice desk!
That was hilarious to read! And, I was so waiting for the photo of the desk stuck in the staircase! LOL! Hope you guys are doing well!
Sarah
Thanks for making me laugh, Beth! I’ve been in a funk all day & reading your story & especially seeing the picture made me laugh out loud. Thanks! Oh & good luck with getting the desk unstuck. Maybe just leave it there & go buy a new one??
One more suggestion. Maybe you should start yelling “Pivot! Pivot!” the next time you try to move it. It was hilarious when Ross did it on Friends.
AHAHAHAHAHA. Omg, I could totally have written this post. Not with a desk and taking it up the stairs…but with so much more. Mr. Soup doesn’t even blink anymore when I try something and fail so horribly and he comes to my rescue. This is why we are married. It’s my job to attempt things and fail and him to come rescue me!
oh no…
roflmao…
this is so something I would do…ask me about last weekend and the light I tried taking down, that hung by it’s electrical wires until I could get someone who KNEW what they were doing…
I love you! And girl; YOU CAN WRITE!
You are too funny! I would have done this exact same thing. And my husband would have just shook his head and laughed. Thank God we have great husbands!
So, when you get the desk in the living room please post pictures!!
Ive helped so many friend out of problems like that…I had a friend, who was trying to move a king sized mattress around in her room, somehow she managed to get it stuck blocking the door…she ended up climbing out her window to get help. It was then I learned not to ask “How did that happen” because chances are, I don’t want to know – to be honest, I still don’t know how she did it.
I have *so* been there many, many times. My current desk has to be held together with straps anytime we move it, because I tried to move it once when I was by myself, and the whole thing collapsed.
And like you, my hubby doesn’t ask or even flinch.
I do the same thing, and usually end up putting out my back. Then husband says, why didn’t you wait for me to help.
To which I reply,
“I wanted it done before I’m 80.”
This is too funny! SO something I would do!
So glad you added the picture at the end. This is so me. I’ve gotten a few things stuck myself. But stupid, hardly!
I love it! That’s all… I just l-o-v-e it!
You truly crack me up!
This totally looks like something I would do. I thought you were going to say you broke your ankle!
Sometimes we just have to do things our way, right away…and you can’t blame yourself for that….Hopefully, the desk gets to its destination really soon!:)
Oh my!!! There are echos all over this blog, which is almost as funny as your hilarious post. Sorry, are we suppose to be laughing at your misfortune/ miscalculation/ mishap/misIPEEDMYPANTSILLBERIGHTBACK!
I too have done things similar only it’s my husband who is always saying “it’ll never fit – you can’t do this – what were you thinking?”, so then I have to take out walls just to prove, yes I can! But I’m not crazy either – just impatient, right?
I finally found you, my long lost twin!
I am exactly the same way and I married the very opposite
How did it get downstairs in the first place? It had to fit somehow!
Steph
FUNNY! Hee-Hee.
I laughed out loud when I got to the picture. Good luck moving that desk. I am going to call you “Gladiator” at Blogher because really, you must have some serious guns to drag that thing up the stairs.
Oh, I so needed this post! I’m feeling a bit blue right now, and I was thrilled to see a new post from you on my Google Reader! You did not disappoint!
I would totally do that, too! My husband gets so fed up with all that I do when he’s not home that probably should have waited for another set of hands. And I LOVED Sarah M’s suggestion to start yelling “Pivot!” like Ross on Friends. One of my favorite episodes ever.
Too funny!! I too, have zero patient. I started blogging JUST THIS WEEK and I have already written about my lack of patience. I’m glad there are others out there like me.
hey you started the job now it’s delegate time
This is seriously hilarious! And didn’t you just break your other desk lifting it with Racecar?!
Hilarious!
Sounds like something I’d do.
The determination that outweighs any rational thought, been there and done that. Plus the fact that it’s not even my mission, and I stared and stared at your picture trying to figure out how it could be done and being frustrated that I couldn’t have a crack at it!
Good luck
waiting can suck it and she-ra meets someone really, really dumb….
totally my favorite things i’ve heard tonight. hilarious
and yesterday with that prelude to you’re “stupidity” i said that we’ve probably all done it. well, i don’t think you’re dumb, but i can definitely say that i would not do this.
i’m more of a call hubby and ask him to come home and do this because i totally need it now and have to be getting to the park kind-of-girl. totally admire your ambition though!! =)
*your* stupidity
i don’t believe in capitalization, but misuse of your, you’re can drive me insane. =)
You crack me up Beth. I can’t wait to hug you at BlogHer. I can hug you, right? : ) P.S. Come see my new design that Christy did! LOVE IT! : )
That SO sounds like something I would do! So funny!
I love this because I would SO totally do the same thing!
Love this. Just what I needed to get me laughing this morning.
Love it! And you!
This is so me too.. ‘cept we won’t discuss who actually got stuck behind aforementioned furniture, and couldn’t get out.
Irony…(get it I should be folding…ROFL) anyway that gem just came to me – here is the kicker…it went into the basement – so it figures that it should come out of the basement…
Good luck!
Carol in FL
Something tells me our husbands would get along very well, and never run out of hilarious “You’ll never guess what MY wife did this time” stories to laugh about.
And guess what? I have that same desk. In my family room. (Insert Twilight Zone music here.)
M