This past Sunday at church, the discussion was about how we, as Americans, work too much.
The topic for this week was “The Sin of Worshipping Our Work.” I was a little giddy at the idea that both Brian and I could listen to this message while the kids were at Kid’s Church, I knew this message was important for Brian as he is a workaholic, but I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard; so beautifully.
I just want to run a few things by you because WE were so profoundly affected by what was taught that I feel instantly different about my life, my family…MY PRIORITIES. No, this is not a Christian blog nor is it a religious blog, but it’s about me and my life and this is me and my life.
Some facts that shocked me:
-The average couples works 700 more hours A YEAR then a couple worked twenty year ago. (my husband rarely stops working and honestly? Neither do I.) We do not have more hours in a day than 20 years ago, we are just spending less time NOT WORKING which means less time resting and with our families.
-An average of three vacations days per American went unused last year.
-When a family vacations for down time, it is never without laptops, cell phones, blackberries, etc. You are always connected – you are never truly with just your family, there is no downtime, no rest. (ooooh, we are so guilty of this.)
-The “best” companies to work for offer many amenities at the office; a gym, free food, child care, massage, naps, etc., making work feel like home and home feel like work. When really what the companies are offering is something so that you actually WORK MORE hours and spend less time at home.
I’m obviously paraphrasing and I wish I could put something together for you that was more profound, but the only thing I can tell you is what an impact it was on us.
One of the quotes by Arlie Hochschild struck me HARD because this is something we are so guilty of, not purposefully, it is with the best of intentions that we are guilty of this, but NOT ANYMORE
“Quality time holds out the hope that scheduling intense periods of togetherness can compensate for an overall loss of time in such a way that a relationship will suffer no loss of quality. This is a way of transferring the cult of efficiency from office to home. Instead of nine hours a day with a child, we declare ourselves capable of getting the ‘same result’ with one more intensely focused total quality hour.”
ouch. If I’m being honest, we do this and it now seems so unfair to our children and to us.
I DON’T WANT to look back on my life and picture myself on a computer while the kids play in the next room, I don’t want to remember the half conversation I had with the kids while I typed meaningless messages on my phone. After James and Jake, I had this figured out, at least I thought I did. My priorities were clear – my family is now, this moment, I want to live them, love them and breathe them in. Because this moment, in another moment, will soon be gone and I have to wonder, how do I want to remember that moment…
was it connecting to the internet or connecting with my children and my husband? Or even connecting with myself.
Somehow, I lost that view point over the past year, but I’m hoping that WE have been awakened to the life that stands before us, just waiting for us to LIVE IT.
Call me old fashioned Beth, but, I agree that there are so many parents out there that need to put the iphone down and step away from the computer. Just yesterday I was watching a mom out for a walk (not stroller) with her 2 year old and not paying one bit of attention to this cute little guy while texting, the whole way down the block. He was trying to get her attention and she was ignoring him and I thought to myself, would you please look at that sweet face and pay attention to what he is trying to tell you cause POOF, it will be gone in a few years and you will wonder what it was like to take your child for a walk on a summer day. Is that piece of technology worth it? Ok, I will stop cause I feel like I am preaching now. This was a great post Beth!
You preach it! There was a family from the Netherlands that was at Yellowstone when we were camping and they were on a six week vacation – normal there. I’m NOT saying we should be like the Netherlands and require businesses to shut down for six weeks a year, but family time and relaxation seem to me to be to be priorities that almost everyone here in the U.S. should make higher priorities, especially in the face of ever increasing distractions. Every part of our being thirsts for that.
What a great lesson to learn. I think somedays my kids are going to look back and remember mom sitting at her computer instead of all the other things they should remember. *sigh*
Great post! It should be easier to unplug than it is. We have started a post-dinner UNO game. No iPhone/ blackberry, etc. I think we’ll always remember this as the summer of UNO- and our move back to SC.
YES! I have to agree, I was in that boat too! So much so, I swore off blogs and blogging till I got my priorities fixed at home. Now, I check a few (yours of course) rarely..but I am still interested in knowing how these folks are doing…
Good for you! Great for your kids too!
Guilty as charged! This past week we had lots of company and have been running around so I’ve been more disconnected and I have to say it felt good. I enjoyed spending more time with the family then worrying about what I was missing on twitter and the bloggy world. Thanks for reminding me of my priorities!
Beth, I am way late on the comments here, but thank you so much for this post. It is definitely hitting home here. I hope this week has gone well for you!