19-2

On February 25, 2008, I woke up, just like every other morning, took my daughter to school, came home and wrote about my then current pregnancy with our twin sons on my blog.  That day, I was nineteen weeks, two days along.

By the end of  that day, I had learned of their deaths and was at the hospital getting induced for their delivery.

I can remember sitting somewhere, I’m not sure where and thinking “I have to get pregnant again RIGHT AWAY,” I felt that desire way deep inside of me.  And although I had hoped to get pregnant again, I knew I’d never carry twins again.  That thought made me sad back then, I loved being pregnant with twins.  I loved it so much.

I’m so blessed to have known them for the 19 weeks,  2 days that I did.  Thankfully, I pushed my desire to carry again aside while we explored every avenue medically as to why this happened, especially after an early loss last January.

My fear has been that I’d never be able to carry past that time frame again, with this pregnancy I felt like 19 weeks, 2 days was nothing but a deadline for this pregnancy, not a milestone of sorts.

But yesterday, as I laid on the couch and felt this baby dance, DANCE!, inside of me, strong enough for Daddy’s hands to feel the movements, too, I was comforted.  Daddy was comforted, too.

Today we spent the day doing all sorts of things together as a family, a trip to Target, to the park, out to dinner and out for ice cream.  But in the middle of the day, we found ourselves doing a photo shoot.  It was planned for today, simply because it was 70 degrees outside, but it just so happens that this incredible weather and our new-found health brought us to capturing today.  19 weeks.  2 days.