Tonight I cleaned my house, it was pretty bizarre because, well, I’m going to be really honest with you, I don’t do too much cleaning, especially lately with the sickness and the pregnancy and all of the eating that I do.
I’m just too busy.
And also cleaning is dumb.
But it’s not, I actually love having a clean house, it empowers me and brings me peace but yet I never feel empowered and peaceful because, again, cleaning is dumb.
But this afternoon, around 4:30 I started getting into the mood, my friends are coming over tomorrow so I thought the least I could do is scrape some of the old food off of the stove, you know, to be polite. I started with that and something happened and I just continued to clean.
I did stop to go get Taco Bell, I hesitate to even tell you that because you’ll be like “seriously? Are you trying to make us jealous with all of your ambition?”
After we ate (at the table, thankyouverymuch), I created a list of things for my kids to clean and handed it to them. It was brilliant, they went down the list and cleaned up everything listed and more. (brilliant idea. I know.) (also, my kids are not good cleaners so this was HISTORY TONIGHT, HISTORY.)
Anyway, while they cleaned, I cleaned and then I couldn’t stop, I cleaned toilets and bathtubs and floors and our bedrooms and downstairs and did laundry. (sidenote: if you ask your husband to clean the bathrooms, please also specify the toilet because apparently that is easily forgotten when a husband cleans a bathroom.)
I came downstairs and swept the first floor, which is pretty big, I swept until I had a blister forming on my thumb, I’m not kidding. (ohmygodwearesogross.) Then I grabbed the little broom and dustpan and swept up all of the massive piles I had all over the house and I was SO HOT and SO THIRSTY and my back hurt SO BAD.
I finally went upstairs (with FOLDED LAUNDRY in my arms) and changed my shirt to a tank top and drank some water. I came back down and swiffered and then I mopped for a long, long, long time because our floors were nasty. (I mopped 10 days ago, what the hell? Why are we so gross?)
Anyway, I folded more laundry and put it away and put the chairs back in the kitchen and put the rugs back down and switched loads and put the kids to bed and I sat on my bed and thought “OH MY GOD, CLEANING WHILE PREGNANT IS SO HARD, I THINK I’M GOING TO DIE.” and I looked down at my tank top and literally saw sweat below my boobs and then I looked further down and saw this large bump that will only grow to be so much bigger and make cleaning even more difficult and I thought. OH MY GOD…
I CAN’T WAIT.