I had an ultrasound on December 23rd.  Brian was home and the kids were home, so we decided to make a family trip of the event, bringing the kids with us.

This was a big deal considering the last ultrasound they were in was the one where we found out James and Jake had died and it was not a good experience for them, obviously.

I wanted so badly for Anna and Noah to know the joy that is the dark, warm room with the fascinating baby dancing on the screen.  So, this was the day to bring them along and try to show them how cool ultrasounds actually (usually) are.

We also kicked around the idea of finding out the gender while we were all in the room and here is why:

After being in the delivery room when my sister’s baby was born and being able to experience that moment of “IT’S A BOY,” it was amazing, so exciting.  Everyone in the room starting cheering and laughing, it was so joyous.  Then everyone, (except my sister) was able to call so many people and let everyone know that the baby was a boy.  It was so much fun.

I realized while sitting there that my experience would be different.  Brian and I would be in an operating room, my arms tied to boards, his mouth covered with a mask and we’d find out the gender and he would leave with the baby and tell everyone the news!  ”it’s a !!”  While I lay in the operating room, getting stitched up and falling asleep.

I’d wake up in recovery, groggy and hopefully then would I be able to see/hold my baby.

And then thanks to the H1N1 hospital restrictions, our children would not be able to come meet the baby AT ALL while we were at the hospital.  This is a big deal.

So, when Anna said “can we find out what the baby is, we promise we won’t be sad, only happy, no matter what it is...”  Well….it got us to thinking.

What if we did find out?  Why not find out?  I mean, it’s about the four of us and this baby in my belly, right?  And here we all were in this room…TOGETHER?

But I could not make the decision on such a short notice.  So, I brought in an envelope and a piece of paper and asked the tech to take a peek and then right down what she found and thought if on Christmas Day we still want to find out, we will open the envelope and if not, then we’ll burn it.

So, that’s what we did, the tech loved the idea, we hung the envelope on the Christmas tree and for the most part, we all forgot about it.

the envelope

oh and the ultrasound?  AMAZING.  The baby sucked it’s fingers and danced and kicked and the kids laughed and ooh’ed and aah’ed and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

And on Christmas morning, a few hours after waking up and opening gifts…we opened the envelope.

And we experienced one of the greatest, most memorable moments any of us will ever know.  And we experienced it together.

Brian opened the envelope as I took the picture.

finding out

And it was in this moment that we learned that a little boy would be joining our family.

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