So, I’m sick. I think I have a sinus infection, which is annoying because I was at the doctor’s office yesterday and thought it was just a cold but today I feel differently, like SIIIIIIICK, so now what?
Do I go back? When I feel like all I ever do is go to doctor’s appointments?
Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to find out “just how big this baby is.” I’m very nervous because I think he’s really big – which means a delivery before March 29th which, well, we were hoping to actually go full term this time around.
Except I’m so huge already that I’m almost always uncomfortable and out of breath. I feel totally and completely swollen and unattractive.
And I can’t sleep.
(also….sick….do not forget about that one.)
And then I was going through some old photos and I found this one and I can’t believe that it’s actually my family, taken 11 months before I was even pregnant with James and Jake and I can’t believe how much we’ve changed.
Obviously, the kids have gotten older and well, Brian and I have, too. But when I look at Brian and I, we look like babies. Babies who just don’t know much of anything. I sort of want to warn them “WATCH OUT…BE READY.” But we probably would not have listened because, well, that’s just what people do, they don’t listen because they just don’t really understand.
I see this photo and I think “yes, I’m sick, I’m massive with a huge baby and huge ankles and sausage fingers and I’m almost always sweaty but my God, there is this baby in my belly who is almost here and there is nothing more important than that.”
NOTHING.
So, rather than warn all four of those people in that photo, instead I just want them to live just like they did, just how they knew how. And right now I’m going to do the same. Swollen fingers and all.
(and probably with a cookie in my hand and definitely a prayer in my heart.)
Really, is there any other way to live? LOVE IT!
You’re so very right: “Nothing more important than that.” Hang in there! Good luck tomorrow.
Such a beautiful family, then and now. I can’t wait for you to be five. (well, I mean I can wait, and I will… you know what I mean! ;-P)
So sorry you are ill but congrats on the pregnancy!
I love this so much. Except for the part where you’re sick (p.s. Dr. Nancy can help, tell her). Also except for the part where you just made me want cookies, and I have none.
Sometimes I look at photos of myself from ten years ago and wish I could go back in time and warn myself of what was to come. And yet, you’re right. I wouldn’t do it if I had the chance.
Pictures like that are such a window into our lives end even more so, our strengths. Check it out- even without warning them, that little family right there handled their future with grace, dignity, prayers and love. The only thing experience brings is more grace, dignity, prayers and love… A few more wrinkles too!
Go on, enjoy those cookies and FEEL BETTER!!
hugs! feel better soon, I’d go get something for that sinus infection, if you don’t think you can fight it off on your own, then also get something for yeast
Feel better soon. Cookies definitely help. I speak from experience!
I hope you feel better. Nothing like being sick and pregnant and not able to breath! I hope it gets better for you. Can’t wait to hear just how big that baby is! Love this post!
Hope you feel better…it’s no fun being sick and pregnant…hope you get some rest!
Oh…and the cookies should definitely help!
Bloggy love to you! Hang in there. God is with you in this season! I know how hard it can be at this stage. Hope you feel better soon.
Cookies do seem to always help in some way.
I hope you feel better very VERY soon!!
I wouldn’t let it go too long, Beth. You know your body and you know if something is going on with it. I let mine go WAY too long and my infection got really bad. I’m on something now, but should have been on it several weeks ago.
Feel better soon.
Nell
Being sick and pregnant is the pits. There’s just no getting around it. I hope your sweet boy can stay in full-term, but also know that you only want what is best for his and your health, whatever that may be.
I am also feeling huge and unwieldy and unattractive but am trying to revel in it and focus on how blessed I am to be experiencing this for the sixth time, without all the suffering you and so many other women have had to endure. It doesn’t seem fair that some of us get it easy and others do not.
Such a sweet photo, your babies were babies. Feel better, friend.
I think you look the same … absolutely beautiful! Be good to yourself today! Destiny
There really is nothing more important! PS. I love a neti pot.
Hang in there! I hope you get to feeling better soon.
If I lived closer I’d bring you some soup…but I’m sure Steph, or Erin, or Sara will do that instead.
I just discovered your blog and love it
I just had my third baby and i still remember how it felt to be so big and swollen 
I also have a little girl that is about to turn seven and your post about your daughter made me cry! She is precious! I will be following!
Feel better! I know what you mean, I look at pictures of my husband and I five years ago and realize that we were such innocent people back then. We didn’t that 5 years later we would be sitting here with a little soul to take care of.
Hang in there, March will be here soon enough.
Oh my. I say go and see the doctor – that is what they are there for. And yes, you may feel like you have worn a path to his/her door, but it is so worth it in the long run if you are able to find some measure of relief and comfort from your symptoms.
If it makes you feel any better, I too feel huge and swollen but sadly, it is all due to excessive binging on my first-ever-trip-without-children and PMSing.
I swear I gained the freshman 20!!
Sending love to you Beth. Hang in there girl.
What a beautiful family!
Ithink I remember from some of your older posts that you didn’t want to know if this baby is a boy or a girl! That’s so exciting. Like in the ‘olden days’. I love waiting for babies to make their debut. I’ve got a pregnant daughter due in July and I’m sharing in all the excitement.
What a wonderful attitude you have!
God bless you and take care of yourself. Being sick while pregnant is so difficult.
What a sweet family photo! Have you ever tried a neti pot? I think they’re very helpful – saline sinus rinse. You can get a cheap plastic one pretty much anywhere I think. Although you should do a little research, because I’m not sure you are supposed to use one if you really have an infection?? OK, not sure if that’s helpful or not. Hope you feel better soon.
I hope you’re feeling better very, very soon. Sinus infections are no fun and I hope you kick it out of your system quickly!!
A beautiful post, Beth. I love how well you manage to keep perspective in the midst of hard times.
Feel better soon! I had a sinus infection when I was 36 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second baby and it was awful!
Empathizing with you…
Stephanie