One week after we lost James and Jake, Brian and I were sitting in my OB’s office for a post-delivery visit. We sat in the waiting room and were instantly called back to wait in an exam room so we didn’t have to be surrounded by gigantic pregnant bellies and little, tiny newborns being nursed by their Moms.
(reason 1,432 why I love my doctor. She thinks of things like that.)
It was a hard visit, I mean, HARD. I remember at that point feeling so emotionally drained and physically tired that I could not figure out how I could have a real conversation with this doctor. This doctor who delivered James and Jake so carefully.
Anyway, Brian and I knew we wanted to get pregnant again and honestly, we wanted to do it immediately, but we wanted to be smart. We wanted to be emotionally ready. We wanted to give time to us and Anna and Noah for grieving. And we wanted to give this time to James and Jake.
We picked up one of those wheels, the kind that tell you when you’re ovulating and menstruating and then when you’re baby will be due. It’s actually quite freakish the amount of information that exists on one of those things.
We decided, that if we were ready, that we would try to get pregnant, that year in July. ”An April baby would be perfect.”
Come that July … we just were not ready. And after another pregnancy loss in February 2009, we decided to get advice medically on what we should do. And that led us to July of 2009. We had an appointment with our specialist in Chicago, we were scheduled for an appointment with her after she had thoroughly reviewed our health history, pregnancy history, families, blood draws, tissues samples … anything and everything that could shed some light on our reproductive past, present and future.
We entered the appointment, so nervously, not knowing what to expect.
She sat us down and said “you should try again…and make it quick, you ovulate next week.”
And so we did. And even though it was a different year, we were right, an April baby is going to be perfect. (or March 29th. Whatever.)
(photo by Love.)