I miss them. I honestly do. I wake up at four in the morning and nurse Elijah and I think about how I never got to do this with James and Jake. I think about it with everything that we do, the first car ride, diaper changes, sponge baths, the Mommy-Baby naps on a sunny, Sunday afternoon.
Their loss brings sadness to me. Sometimes, when I have those moments that every Mom has after having a baby, the tears flow because of exhaustion but extra tears stream down for James and Jake.
But with the extra tears are extra smiles, extreme gratitude and moments of peace as the baby sleeps and breaths softly on my shoulder.
In two weeks, we will be honoring James and Jake by walking in the March of Dimes March for Babies walk. The walk is over six miles so I won’t be walking but family and friends will be walking – for them, remembering them. I’ll have Elijah is my arms, thanking God for this day that we have for dedicating to James and Jake. This day that we remember and honor them and hope to prevent anyone else from losing their babies, as we lost ours.
Team James and Jake has raised over $20,000 because of people JUST LIKE YOU. You, my readers, my friends, you people who love and who care and who know how sacred life is and how fragile carrying a baby can be. And maybe you’ve never lost, instead you just get how lucky you are.
Sometimes, I dream about what they would be doing right now, I dream about the relationship they would have with their older brother and sister, I dream about their little toes, their sameness and also what makes them unique.
Today and for the next few weeks, I’ll be asking you for donations to help ensure that ALL babies are born healthy, that all beautiful babies are given a chance to lay comfortably on their Mommy’s chest, to feel the sunshine on their soft skin and to grow up to be healthy and happy.
Every dollar, every single dollar makes a difference, I promise you, it does. If you are able, you can click here to donate. If you are unable to donate, please help me spread the word about Team James and Jake!
*For everyone that donates $50 or more, I will be sending you a Team James and Jake key chain, similar to what you see below as a thank you for your generosity. These key chains were generously made by Cameron at Create Beauty Daily.
*If you live in Northwest Indiana or the surrounding area, we would LOVE to have you join our team on April 24th in Valparaiso, Indiana. Anyone is welcome to join us – this is our day to dedicate to James and Jake! The event is inspirational and beautiful (and there’s fried chicken!) Click here to join our team!
Team James and Jake proudly walks in honor of so many babies who left this world too soon :
My nephew: Jonathan Davis Johnson
My niece: Grace Pauline Johnson
Lydia Grace Focosi
Allison Jane Nash
Mabel Love Segerman
and sweet baby Joel
I’m really looking forward to participating at the walk. I did it years ago, but reading your posts about your boys inspired me to do it again.
I know your little birds will be looking down on you and your family that day, cheering you on as you honor their spirit. And I know they love and miss you so very much, too.
Oh tears! I am so proud to be a member of Team James and Jake. I can’t wait to meet Eli and see Anna and Noah again. Can we buy the key chains?
My heart hurts for you. And you should know that I get a little extra joy in my heart for my little one every day and especially every time I am reminded of James and Jake. They help me to embrace the blessing I have been given. My husband is on a March of Dimes team this year too, he along with my daughter and I will be walking and donating. And our donation was for your family too.
This post touched me Beth.
I will be walking too, in Houston. This is such a good cause, and as the mother of a preemie, I couldn’t be more proud to raise money in honor of so many beautiful babies in Heaven and here on Earth.
I can’t wait to walk for them and you. I also can’t wait, for when as Eli grows older, we learn what James and Jake have taught him. Because for all they’ve taught me, I know they’ve taught their baby brother so much more.
It’s taken me too long to finally sign up again. I’m doing it now. And I’ll be walking for many. But mainly for you.
Steph
I miss them too along with Jonathan and Grace. I’ve finally signed up to join the team again this year. I can’t believe it’s only two weeks away. I’m looking forward to the walk and that feeling of helping in such a good cause.
It is bittersweet that baby after a loss. I remember crying so hard while nursing Seth. Thinking about what Emma would have been doing right then and what she would think of her little brother…these thoughts continue but not as much as they grow.
Wishing you love and peace my dear friend.
I love that you raise money every year and walk for so many babes that left too soon. You are an amazing woman and I love you.
Your posts about James and Jake always make me really think about how thankful I am for the babies I have here with me (I lost my first pregnancy). I’m originally from northwest IN (in fact, I was born in Valporaiso) and have a friend there who does March of Dimes in honor of her nephew who was born very prematurely but survived thanks to all the help there is out there now. I already donate to March of Dimes but will be thinking of you and your family on your special day.
Bless their hearts. I can’t even begin to imagine. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
No matter how much you make me cry I just keep loving you more. Thank you.
I will be proudly walking again this year with Team James & Jake and the other angel babies who left too soon. I can’t tell you how much this means to me to be a part of such a great cause. I’m looking forward to meeting precious Eli…
Beth, came over here b/c I saw the tweet about E’s socks! (SO CUTE.) And I thought, “I wonder how she’s doing?” Just know I’m praying for you. I’m praying for lots of healing during this newborn time. Love you!
Wish I could be there to walk, too!
a
What a beautiful post. I would donate to Team James & Jake, but I am also walking in the March for Dimes walk in Lafayette, IN on the 24th! I will definitely have the twins on my mind!
Thinking of you and your walk in the March for Dimes. Good luck!
Um, getting just a wee bit baby hungry!!
HONORED to walk this year for those sweet baby boys that have meant so much to so many people.
i’m sorry you hurt, Beth. i know you always will ache for them and no one can take that pain away. i’m so sorry.
He is beautiful. And handsome!
[...] And to those who have already donated – THANK YOU SO MUCH! You amaze me! (don’t forget, if you donate $50 or more, you’ll receive a Team James and Jake key chain!) [...]