Elijah was born to nurse.
There is no doubt in my mind and anyone who gets to spend some time with him (and me), completely agrees. My nipples, they also agree. And the sore on my right side? Oh yes, he agrees, too.
Wonder why I’m not posting so much? Because Elijah is nursing or I’m tired or I’m still recovering from the c-section.
I’m not going to lie to you, I forgot how hard it was to recover from this surgery. Not just the physical pain of it but also the frustration that I can’t just get up and do what I want to do. I’m realizing how much I actually like my house to be in order, I’m realizing that yes, perhaps I am TYPE A and I’m realizing that sitting around doing nothing, (well, not nothing, you know what I mean) is not my thing.
Not being able to go up and down the stairs and much as I need or not being able to snuggle with the kids because of my incision, it’s frustrating!
The last three nights Elijah has slept amazingly well, Brian and I were actually in bed, sleeping at ten, I woke Eli up at 2 to nurse and then we slept until 6:45, this is good, very good because we have been so sleep deprived.
I began nursing him in bed, the sky outside was cloudy with rain…the kids alarm clocks went off at seven and they sleepily crawled into bed with us, all of us so sleepy, still trying to catch up from these past 8 days. I was sitting up, against the headboard, boppy in my lap, baby at my breast, Anna at my feet, wiping the tired from her eyes, Noah to my left, snuggling with Eli’s super soft blanket and then Brian, holding us all together.
It was the five of us. During my entire pregnancy we would lay in bed, the four of us, dreaming of the day we would be five and here it was – no longer a dream but an awesome reality.
These days are hard because I feel so torn, I want to spend more time with Anna and Noah, I want to help Brian with the laundry (the man needs a break!) and I want to hold Eli as much as I can but it’s moments like this morning, with thunder rolling in, the buds on the trees getting bigger each day, that remind me that this is our spring, our season, with blooms and birds and constant changes and some thunderstorms, too, to help remind us how good the sun feels as it shines down on us.
It shines so brightly. I love the way it feels.