My coffee tastes a little funny today. It’s sort of like water with coffee added to it, does that make sense? Maybe it tastes like this everyday and I’m only noticing it today because I am so tired.
I’m about to put my S’Mores Pop Tarts into the toaster before I nurse Eli, that way I can eat and nurse at the same time. After all of the crumbs I dropped on him when he was in my belly, he’s totally used to the crumbs now.
This morning, as I was putting Eli into the car seat to take Anna and Noah to school, Noah was watching and said “wow, Mom, Eli is growing so tall! Good job feeding him,” he said as he patted my back.
It’s crazy, but that meant so much to me.
I’m still having nursing issues in that I’m still working on my supply. Three feedings yesterday went like this: nurse, supplement, pump. Every three hours. Which is why if a neighbor were to stop by I would be like “oh, I only work here, I’m the cleaning lady, the people who live here are pigs.” And I’d use an accent, too.
So, I finished my Pop Tarts over an hour ago, which means I finished nursing Eli and now he’s in the swing. He doesn’t like the swing which is annoying because it’s like Disneyland in the living room but apparently he’s scared of roller coasters like his older brother, Noah.
By the way, about every five hours or so I put Eli in the swing to see if he’s changed his mind but alas, he never does. One of these days …
I just rescued Eli out of the hell that is the swing. When I picked him up I started kissing all over his face and wondered if he liked it. I wonder what he would say if he could talk, probably something like “seriously, woman, COFFEE. BREATH. and where is your boob?!” I’m glad he can’t talk, because that would be freaky.
Today, I am leaving Eli twice. Once to get my hair done and then Brian and I are going to go out to dinner. Alone. For the first time in 211 years.
I am excited. But the thing is, in order for me to do all of that fun alone stuff, I have to clean my house because someone is coming over to care for my children and my house is DISGUSTING. (even Brian says so, which says a lot coming from a guy who lived in a fraternity house and didn’t notice how disgusting it was.) (I still have nightmares.)
So. I need to go get cleaning as I was just able to put Eli in the vibrating seat, where when I turn on the vibration his body flies up in the air like “HOLYSHITOHMYGODEARTHQUAKE.” and then he settles down and realizes AWESOME.
And now he just pooped again and he’s acting hungry.
Happy Mother’s Day, friends. I hope it’s filled with poop and hunger and delicious kisses on your children’s cheeks.
And if your heart hurts this Mother’s Day … you are not alone. I promise you.





























This made me smile . . .
Happy Mother’s Day!!
Hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day!
I hope you got me a vibrating chair for my birthday.
You’re a doll. A funny doll. I’m new here and you’ve charmed me! Much love.
OMG, Beth, you made me laugh out loud this morning! For reals. I needed that today
Happy Mother’s Day!
“I hope it’s filled with poop and hunger and delicious kisses on your children’s cheeks.” – best salutation ever!
I lost count of the number of times I laughed out loud reading this!
Happy Mother’s Day, Lovely Lady!
complete stranger here delurking to say that this was awesome. and i think that YOU deserve a vibrating chair. feeding issues with newborns sucks so completely and you are rocking it.
Wow, I don’t know what I would have done if Ian would have hated the swing.
I’m pretty sure Eli is really one of my kids. Your story is pretty much my story. Hate the swing, love the bouncy seat, nurse, supplement, pump. Scary. At about 2 months we finally stopped having to supplement. Also, I did the power pumping a couple of times a day with the 3rd baby. Couldn’t take the pump-after-every-feeding-insanity. Enjoy your date night and actually talking to your husband. And, someone told me beer helps to improve your supply (the yeast or something), so I totally think you get to have a beer tonight.
You write motherhood SO well! Have a lovely weekend and Mother’s Day!
You are so cute and funny and I love your monologues.
OH, what a precious photo. So glad you get to go out today. Enjoy!
Steph
Okay, I haven’t laughed that much during one post in a while! HILARIOUS! You definitely have a way with describing your daily life and I’m so thrilled I had come across your blog. Your words make me smile. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thanks for this. The last sentence was inspired. Just found out I’m not going to be a mom, yet…again. Here’s to another year of trying. Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely women! I sincerely hope you love on your kids as much as you can! Hopefully I’ll be able to, too soon
Beth~
Hope you have a great Mother’s Day! Feeding issues are hard but I am sure looking at his sweet little face makes it all worth it! Enjoy date night!
Enjoy your dinner date! Hoping next mothers day I will be celebrating with you!
I want a vibrating chair. And also, I love you truly madly deeply for that last line. <3
oh my lord what a funny post….I hope you have a wonderful date night….a country away ( i am up here in canada) My hubby and I are off on a date night as well….the angles are singing.
Kate
Thanks for writing this! It made me smile. Hope you have a great Mother’s Day!
Enjoy your time out!! You deserve it!! Happy Mother’s Day to you too!!
thank you for taking the time to post this in your busy day! You are a joy to read.
Enjoy your night out, and FYI my midwife also says a beer does the breastfeeding good so be sure to “belly up to the bar” tonight! You deserve it, fo sho!
You crack me up. 211 years.
And my daughter HATED the baby swing until she was three months old. We just put it away last month–she was so heavy it was starting to tip when it swung (swang?)–but she seemed a little bummed.
Vibrating bouncy chairs are so good for so many things … especially when full bowels are involved!
Enjoy your night out and try not to think about the messy house. I’m sure your babysitter will understand. Or maybe he/she was in a fraternity, too. =>
Good luck with the house cleaning! It is a daunting task – that is for sure! But it will be soooo worth it when you are out on your date – ALONE!!!!
Have a Happy Mother’s Day!
I’m trying to figure out who he looks like. Is it Anna?
Happy Mother’s Day to you too Beth. Us Mommies certainly deserve a day of honor for all we do, don’t we?
And enjoy your dinner OUT!
You and your sense of humor…you crack me up
I hope you enjoyed your luxurious hair cut and evening out with Brian.
Love ya, girl!! Enjoy that alone time!
LOL. 211 years. Yes, I know exactly how that feels! And also how it feels to go out that first time after baby and secretly wish, at least a little bit, that I could be spending the time away sleeping. Al, too. One date night when Peabody was about three months old, he said, “Honey, do you want to just get a hotel room for a few hours?” and I looked at him sideways and raised my eyebrows and he said, “I MEANT TO SLEEP IN, WOMAN. MY GOSH AFTER 12 WEEKS OF THIS NEWBORN &#!@ I AM NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN.” (No lie, he really said that!) (And I have never felt closer to him than I did in that moment.) I wish you and Brian a wonderful night out tonight and I wish YOU a beautiful , wonderful Mother’s Day. And yes. Beer. It worked well for me. I’m not sure if it was the extra fluids, or the relaxation it brought about, or the yeast, but it DID work.
Eli is so adorable. Have a wonderful few hours ~ and chill about the house ~ it’ll wait! Housework and newborns do not add up, but one grows up, the other will always be there!
LOL! While that is a wonderful picture, I’d like to see a picture of his “HOLYSHITOHMYGODEARTHQUAKE” face.
OMG…I laughed so hard..I spit my gum right out!!!! you are hysterically funny and my heart is so excited for all of your happiness. Eli is fantastically beautiful….you are blessed!!! xoxo
Holyshitohmygodearthquake! I died laughing here….like seriously I snorted my Dr. pepper and it came out through my nose.
He is so gorgeous btw.
the design of your site is the best!
I LOVE your baby *.* ; sooo cute
and for Friday morning special coffee recipe check my blog, you and you’re littlle prince are welcomed =)
I hope you had fun last night. I laughed so hard at some point in your story that I had to read it to my boyfriend but I don’t think he got what was funny. His loss. Happy Mother’s Day!
Hope you had a wonderful dinner. Happy Mother’s Day!
just so you know, this post sooo rocks. My kind of stuff goin on here, my kind of day, my kind of house. Cept for the dinner out, kidless. ha. Only though cause I don’t want anyone coming over to see the house, cause I’m not cleaning it first.
nice job
I love this post and laughed too especially at Eli’s earthquake thought. You are hilarious.
Mother’s Day to me is a day to appreciate ALL my children and grandchildren and anyone else that might think of me in kind of a motherly way. It’s also a day to remember my mother, grandmother, mother-in-law and little tiny ones that I won’t see for a long time. It’s a bit of a mixed bag but it’s good all around.
Hope your ‘date’ was great.
Hi – I’m a brand new follower – and just wanted to let you know your post sure put a smile on my face! I was a bf-ing mom too, and can TOTALLY relate to the “… and where is your boob?!” – that’s SO classic!!! Thanks!
I’m a new follower, and just wanted to let you know that this post sure put a smile on my face! I (was) a nursing mom – and can SO relate to the “…and where is your boob?!” – that’s CLASSIC!!!
Our Little Miss loved the swing, not as much as mom and me though!
Ohhhh, Beth! One strawberry Pop-Tart is 200 calories (I looked it up online). For 10 calories less, you could eat one slice whole-wheat toast (90 calories) spread with 1 Tbsp. peanut butter (the adult kind, made of peanuts and salt, nothing else) (100 calories. That’s 190 calories, with more fiber, more complex carbohydrates, and more protein, and just as easy to eat in one hand while nursing. Please for the sake of Eli and your sweet self, try to leave those nasty tart things alone. Your body will thank you for it!
Oh man, just let me enjoy my pop tarts.
LOL! Happy Mother’s Day Beth (enjoy your pop tarts
!
We had the same thing happen with our swing, after we spent a whole day hunting down the right one and driving an hour to get it. It was expensive, too, but eventually she got to where she’d sleep in it even when she wouldn’t sleep anywhere else so it turned out to be useful after all.
I wish I had some s’mores pop tarts.
It’s so funny to read this and remember Evan in each of those situations… hating the swing, hating the vibration seat at first and then LOVING it… the endless poops and feedings. It always seemed like I just finished feeding him when I’d have to change him. By the time I finished changing him it was time to feed him again. Endless! You’ll get through it. Hope you had a great Mother’s Day with those three wonderful little munchkins you have. =)
I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but with a 2 yr old and 3 mo old, I’m lucky to get a shower every day.
My little guy hates the swing, but like you, I keep trying and hoping he’ll change his mind…3 months, and every day I keep trying to change his mind. The worst part of it all is that he actually fell asleep one day…hasn’t done it since but because he did that one time, so I keep chasing the dream!
Love your blog!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while but with a 2 yr old and a 3 mo old, I’m lucky to get a shower every day.
My little guy hates the swing too but I keep putting him in there hoping he’ll change his mind. Three months later and still hates it. The worst part id that he actually fell asleep in it one day, which keeps me chasing the dream!
Love your blog!