How are you, pretty blog? I miss you. I miss coming here daily and sharing my thoughts with you. I miss taking photos and editing them and feeling like I must share these shots with the world.
My blog is getting dusty. My camera is getting dusty, I sort of feel like my soul is getting dusty. Do you ever feel that way? That your life is so busy with the day to day activities of changing 400 diapers a day, dishes, laundry, boo-boo kisses, homework, snacks, meals…YOU CATCH MY DRIFT, that you miss the things that inspire you and drive you to just be a better person?
At the end of the day, I lay down and think “huh, I really never experienced any ‘me’ time,” which I believe is important, not just for me, but for everyone. (including my husband, who never gets me time, either.)
This phase of newborn-ness, it’s a tricky one. You’re so busy taking care of everything else that you, as a Mama, start to slip through your own fingers, even though you are right there.
Fortunately, I’ve been through this before and I know it won’t last forever, I’m doing my best to let go of the emails, the pedicures and yes, the showers and managing to take a deep breath and stare at these little tiny fingers, gorgeous expressions and sweet smells.
But it’s hard. I’m starting to miss me.
and that doesn’t mean I don’t love and appreciate this guy, I’m just wishing for the best of both worlds.
(diaper changing pad he’s laying on is the best – it’s from Sister Sue Designs)
I don’t know how any mother of small children could do that and write a blog. I started blogging at age 59, when my kids were way gone! I admire you for doing this even ONCE IN AWHILE! Tweeting is easier! He is a beautiful baby, and I have such fond memories of those times with my two girls. Love to you. molly
I admire you for even TRYING to blog while mothering a baby! I didn’t start blogging until age 59, when my kids were long gone! He’s a beautiful baby. best to you, and take naps!
oh beth, it’ll get better. your blog readers love you.
This is our first and I’m starting to wonder, nearly 6 months later, when does the “me” time come back. Well… more specifically, the sleep time lol. If I had more sleep than there is me time available but right now I spend all of “me time” and “hubby time” trying to sleep. Not good for anyone imo. I know just how you feel. Your little guy is beautiful by the way. I for one will be waiting here when you get time to come back full force. Your “You Capture” keeps me clicking away and looking with a fresh eye each week.
Right there with you, friend. I know.
You should know that we all TOTALLY know how you feel.
I completely understand. I gave up on writers blogging a while back and only post pics now. My kids are 2,1, and 2 months.
I shouldn’t even be reading/writing this because they are supposed to be going down for naps. ::chuckles::
We both know it gets easier though ; ) So hang in there! I will too.
(PS Photo is SO cute! & I love that blankie he’s laying on)
My third little girl is now 4 months old…I totally understand where you are. Sometimes, I think…why in the world did I start a blog? What made me think I would have spare time? Ha! One day, however, I will wish that I could sit up all night rocking a baby again. Well…maybe not all night.
Oh, I remember those days and sometime I still feel that way-or a tiny fraction of that way-and my kids are 3 & 5! It is a short period of time, but still. Make time for yourself any way you can-I know it’s hard but whatever you can, any little thing to feed your soul! XO
Having 3 children challenged me and forced me to grow in ways I never thought possible. I know well that feeling that life just wooshed on past before I could get a breath! Plus in the early days I can either shower OR brush my teeth, never both in the same day -much less take care of me!
Oh, he is so cute… and getting so big!
I remember this phase, and looking back I really regret wishing it away… I’d love to have that tiny little snuggly baby back (sometimes…)
Oh, it’s true. I’ve seen you in action and you’re pretty much non-stop. (nobody can soil that many diapers in a day, can they? – not you, ELI) But, as you said, you wouldn’t trade one minute of newborn time for all the me time in the world because in a sense this is me time. Time to immerse yourself in the gift of this new life. In the grand scheme of things, it’s such a fleeting time. Let go of everything else – it will wait. Post a pic now and again and enjoy your baby.
Haha..I’m in the same boat! I was just thinking how I need to post my pictures from Mother’s Day (even if they are 3 days late!) just to get something new on my blog. I’m trying to remind myself that the tiny fingers and toes will only be tiny for a short while and not to miss out on these moments. I miss me too though!
Hang in there, I see Me Time in your future. Knowing you miss Me Time makes you more susceptible to take that time soon. Showers, pedicures, reading, blogging…
This is something that I worry a lot about and I don’t even have kids yet ! I worry about me Time now that does not involve groceries or cleaning or work and I worry about Me Time in the future when I do have kids.
look at those cheeks, oh you were writing??
You should know that we missed you too!
And yes, I’m glad you know this stage won’t last forever. You’re an experienced mother; I always feel sorry for new moms who don’t know this. He is the cutest!
He’s getting so big!!
LOVE the changing pad.
I WANT TO SMELL THE SWEET SMELLS. GIMME SOME OF DEM SWEET SMELLS YOU SWEET SMELL HOG!
It’s a tough line to walk, isn’t it? Fraught with Mama-guilt. Can I just tell you, it’s okay to feel whatever you feel? It’s okay, nothing lasts forever, feel what you feel and accept yourself. You are truly wonderful, but no one expects you to be perfect, so you shouldn’t either. Be you – that’s what Eli and his bro and sis need most. Be Beth. They will love KNOWING YOU as YOU much more than they’ll remember you getting it all done perfectly for them every day. I have to remind myself of that every.single.day.
(I mean, to just be Megan. Not Beth.)
of course we miss your blog posts, but love you more for being the mom that you need to be. but try to find some “me” time in there somewhere, m’kay? you deserve it. xoxo
I don’t even have a newborn and I struggle with blogging!!! You take the me time you deserve and visit with us when you can. As long as you post a picture of the kiddos every now and again, who would dare to complain
We’ll see you regularly soon, until then remember we are thinking of both of you often!
I do know the feeling. I feel like it must be somewhat akin to being stuck in quicksand, but much less relaxing. Because at least if I was stuck in quicksand, I could just chill out for awhile and worry about something other than housework.
It’s hard being a Mom especially a new Mom. You go thru so many hormonal changes. They are very needy in the beginning and it’s hard to give when you feel like there is nothing left to give. You try not to wish them to grow up fast, but at the same time you can’t wait till you get some kind of regular routine means growing up.
It’s funny how we crave routine and we don’t even know it.
I wonder if it’s just as hard for them? Hang in there:)
I so understand what you are going through!. It is a tough time for all, I am still struggling and my two are 4 & 2. I don’t like to wish the time away as they are only small once, but just sometimes you would like to do something that you want to do. My 4 year old is very clingy and won’t let me do anything without him, it is driving me insane.
Hang in there, things I hope can only get better.
What’s weird is when my baby Jude was that age I felt pretty together and proud of myself for juggling work life baby. But now looking back I can hardly remember any of it. I realized that a couple of days ago when I tried to remember last summer and found it very difficult to recall with any kind of clarity. I think I was probably too busy trying to survive and pat myself on the back to enjoy a lot of the moments I should’ve soaked up. Being still is hard for me. So the fact that you’re doing that – is such a good thing.
Ah, but if you’re going to lose yourself in something, I can’t think of any sweeter calling than motherhood.
I came by your blog via Life with Kaishon, and I’m glad I clicked the link. You have a lovely blog!
It does indeed get easier. Going from two to three kiddos was the biggest challenge for me as far as time management. It seemed as though life would never have “calm” as a characteristic ever again. We still have our chaotic phases but somehow, they’re more welcomed now because I know I *am* capable of doing what I need to do (whereas in the first 8 or 9 months, I thought I was in over my head!)
Refreshing times for *just you* are not so far off! Good for you for enjoying the stage you’re in and knowing that its fleeting, all the while being able to express what you miss and hope for. Its ok to feel both!
I was talking about this the other day myself, and I don’t have a newborn! I think you are doing amazing, but I know how you are feeling.
Totally random: I thought of you on Mother’s Day while I scarfed on a bag of Doritos. For some reason I thought of you throwing nachos at the screen during Sanjaya.
Ah, but what a wonderful way to be consumed, right?
Going from 2 to 3 is very different from going from 1 to 2, isn’t it? (based on my experience, of course) In some ways the me time comes back easier because your husband is better versed in taking care of babies by the time the 3rd one comes around. In other ways it takes longer, there is just so much more to do and with more kids the older ones need even more face-to-face time. So, for me what it ended up being was that I could get back to me time at home fairly quickly, but getting me time away from the house took a bit longer.
I don’t mind the dust, I haven’t been here in a looooong time! Your newborn is such a cutie!
Finding that balance is so very hard, we are dealing with it now that Boo is playing sports more often. Me time…I miss it.
I’m echoing the other comments when I say we all know how you feel!! My son is 17 months old and it is already definitely easier than those newborn days. We’re on more of a routine now so I do get some me-time, but I’m still at his mercy! However, every time I see pictures of your precious baby, I go back to the days where all my son and I did was sit around, and I would give almost anything to have that time back (minus all the crying and not-sleeping!)
Oh yes – the newborn phase is all consuming!!! It is so helpful to know that it doesn’t last forever — with my first I thought my life was permanently over!
HUGS
hang in there mama…….that newborness stuff is over, just too soon! I know you know it and in the moment you just don’t feel it! Enjoy it, every waking moment every insane, crazy, annoying moment! ENJOY all of them!
Beth, I know you know this, but it will get easier. I know, that newborn stage is so ‘foggy’ looking back – it’s like I was in a fog the whole time, and tired…before long you’ll be through this stage, and he’ll be happy on his own and you’ll wonder where the time went.
I’m praying for you, especially with the feeding difficulties – I went through nursing issues with my son – pumping & bottle-feeding for 6 weeks until he finally decided to latch on, I know how difficult & frustrating it can be – thanks for sharing so honestly what you’re going through!
I know this feeling so well; It’s been years, and I still feel like my soul is dusty. (Fantastic imagry, by the way…I love the feeling those words conjure.)