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Archive for June 2010

Not the cute kind of chubby

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
By Beth

So, I lost one pound this week, which is awesome considering we were visiting my sister. My sister and her husband are on Weight Watchers, too. We made a decision to be good and stay away from our typical spread of donuts and cookies.

Right now I’m typing this post on my iPhone, so no outfit this week. We are on our way to Brookfield Zoo. As I was getting ready this morning, I was really struggling with my clothes. I pretty much despise getting dressed, everything looks dumpy and I rarely feel or look cute. My belly hangs over my pants, my arms are thick and my thighs are wide. I literally switch from frumpy t-shirt to t-shirt settling for the one that makes me feel less like a college softball player. (without the muscle.).

I get so bummed.

We stopped at a gas station for coffee and decide, despite having a good breakfast of one cup of Raisin Bran with skim milk, to buy donut sticks.

As i’m reaching for this “treat,” I’m telling myself “this is the problem, this is what makes you not like the way you look.”

I buy them anyway.

I’m tired of cheating on myself.

I’m tired of feeling sad when I look in the mirror.

Categories: Weight Loss

Three Months

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
By Beth

I’m not sure how it happened but Eli turned three months old today.  Right now, as I type this, he’s doing his usual thing of waking up from a short nap.

He’s not a fan of naps.  I wonder if you really  believe it when I say he really doesn’t nap much.  Just to give you an idea, my sister, who we just spent the weekend with, said “I think it’s funny that you said he sleeps during the day. At all. He naps less than an 18 month old.”

It’s true.

But at night, he sleeps quite well.  He wakes up right at four in the morning usually and I nurse him.  Last night I was up with him for 38 minutes and we fell back asleep.  I don’t mind that at all.

This photo was taken when he was just a few weeks old.  He and I were in the midst of a three hour nap.  I’m pretty sure it was the last time he slept during the day.

oh elijah

I need to focus on his naps, I think, I’d love for him to get good rest during the day and I’d love to be able to get something done in a timely manner.  I do sort of like not focusing too much on naps, however.  Like tomorrow, we are going to the zoo, I know he’ll sleep when he sleeps and his schedule is up to him tomorrow.  I kind of like it that way simply because we have older kids who are busy and LOUD and keeping a schedule is just not easy.

Anyway, enough about the naps that don’t exist.

We simply love him.

Last week, I gave him a bath in his bath seat (lounger?) in the big tub for the first time.  It was just me, in the house the kids and Brian were outside.  Before I knew it, we were all in the bathroom, watching Eli as he stared at us like we were a group of crazies.  I love the way Anna and Noah love him.  I love the way their love grows every single day for him.  I love that I get to witness it.

first bath in the tub

(kudos to Brian for this shot.)

Everyday feels like a new adjustment but the overall stress of having a newborn seems to be getting better ever day.  We can usually eat dinner together, ride in the car together and even almost get through Costco without too many tears.  (Eli’s tears.  Not Brian’s.  Those will always be there.)

Eli WM 2742

I think tonight we are going to put Eli in his crib for the first time.  I’ll honestly miss him while he sleeps but I wonder if he would get a better night’s rest if he were alone.

How has three months gone by so quickly?

Eli WM 2714

Is time flying for you, too?

Maybe I’ll keep him in my room tonight.  Just one more time.

Categories: Being a Mama

Beginning

Sunday, June 27th, 2010
By Beth

I look at these photos and I think a number of things.

1.  Last year at this time, I was not pregnant but desperately wanted to be and Sarah was about 14 weeks pregnant.

TIME FLIES.

2.  Why didn’t we try this 15 minutes earlier when Eli wasn’t so unbelievably tired?

and

three.

This is the first photo shoot of many, they’re going to be together for the rest of their lives.

Sarah and I are pretty excited.  I can’t say the same about the boys just yet.

(Trey, six months old, is on the left.  Eli, nearly three months old, is on the right.)

Trey and Eli 2827

Trey and Eli June 2010

Trey and Eli 2862

Trey and Eli 2883

Eli and Trey 2920

Trey and Eli 2798

Categories: Being a Mama, Family, Friendly

I took pictures

Saturday, June 26th, 2010
By Beth

Last night I took photos of my sister and her family.

It was fun.

Shawhan WM 2383

Shawhan WM 2328

Shawhan WM 2352

Shawhan WM 2264

Aren’t they beautiful?  (the family) (not the photos) (okay, the photos, too.)

Categories: Beth Fletcher Photography, Friendly

Friday Morning Coffee

Friday, June 25th, 2010
By Beth

I’m so tired.  Are you tired?  I think I’m getting a cold and it stinks.

Today we are leaving for my sister’s house.  I’m excited but extremely nervous because my feedings with Eli have gone from okay to bad to worse.  Each session is just as frustrating as the one before.  Most feedings I spend walking around feeding him because otherwise he screams at my breast.   I’m not sure where to go from here.   I just don’t.

I’m so disappointed that after 12 (nearly 13!) weeks this still is not anywhere near a good nursing relationship.  Well, sometimes it is, but not often.  I feel like I’ve tried everything and still continue to work at it but it gets us nowhere.   Things I’ve tried and (some) still continue to try:  blessed thistle, fenugreek, mother’s milk, pumping after each session, switching (upgrading) pumps, walking and nursing, seeing a lactation consultant (multiple times), having Eli checked for problems, switching positions…

but when he nurses well, it’s so beautiful and I’m so thankful for all of the hard work I’ve put into it.  And now, when I’m putting him to sleep, he sometimes turn his head down, he puts his forehead on my arm, spits his pacifier out and starts to suck on my arm which means he WANTS to nurse, so I do and oh, I love that I can provide for him what he wants at the moment.

I just wish he wanted it more than say, three times a week.

But I do want to say that I don’t think formula feeding is the end of the world.  Both Anna and Noah were formula fed after having a rough start in the NICU and you know what?  They are everything I could ever dream of – we have a wonderful affectionate relationship, they are super smart, I just wouldn’t change a thing about them.  (well, I maybe would have them do a better job of making their clothes right side out before putting them in the hamper, but you know, beggars can’t be choosers.)

Anyway, breastfeeding should be so much easier and cheaper than formula feeding and it’s really awesome and beautiful  - that’s what keeps me going.  But I’m not sure he really wants me to, based on every single feeding throughout the day, day in and day out.

Enlighten me, friends.

Categories: Friday Morning Coffee
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