So, I lost one pound this week, which is awesome considering we were visiting my sister. My sister and her husband are on Weight Watchers, too. We made a decision to be good and stay away from our typical spread of donuts and cookies.
Right now I’m typing this post on my iPhone, so no outfit this week. We are on our way to Brookfield Zoo. As I was getting ready this morning, I was really struggling with my clothes. I pretty much despise getting dressed, everything looks dumpy and I rarely feel or look cute. My belly hangs over my pants, my arms are thick and my thighs are wide. I literally switch from frumpy t-shirt to t-shirt settling for the one that makes me feel less like a college softball player. (without the muscle.).
I get so bummed.
We stopped at a gas station for coffee and decide, despite having a good breakfast of one cup of Raisin Bran with skim milk, to buy donut sticks.
As i’m reaching for this “treat,” I’m telling myself “this is the problem, this is what makes you not like the way you look.”
I buy them anyway.
I’m tired of cheating on myself.
I’m tired of feeling sad when I look in the mirror.
Wow… the comments, the support, the love… are incredible here. Just read them again… and maybe again… and be gentle with yourself, as most say. Look at your babies and remember that THEY are the result of those extra pounds… temporary pounds. I know it is frustrating. Even all these decades later, I still remember trying to lose baby weight and crying while trying on clothing. It took me 2 years to lose the weight I gained with Janie… on Weight Watchers… and what I DID get was a wonderful course in nutrition that has stuck with me ever since. AND… we all need that donut stick or ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce and extra whipped cream and nuts (oh, where did THAT come from?) once-in-a-while. It is not weakness… it is motherhood. Go gently into this holiday weekend… xo!
I know I don’t “know” you, but it broke my heart to read that
When I read your words and I am moved to cry or to laugh depending on what you write that given day….I SEE a beautiful, compassionate, talented woman. Not that my opinion matters….but I felt the need to respond 
xo
lisa @thebeadgirl
I’m going to sound like a really big 12-step geek right now. You’ve been warned.
-please don’t expect perfection from yourself. LOOK at your progress, only at your progress. Yes. Stop and ask yourself “in this moment, am I going to do the right thing?” But if you fail, you have every right to honor yourself with chance after chance. We’re all seeking progress, even if that’s frustratingly slow, not perfection.
-keep it simple.
-one day at a time-do not think “yuck I have to eat like this for the.rest.of.my.life. Just for today. Just for this hour. Just for this moment.
- Women, food and God – the book – it’s like AA for people with food issues.
-love the line, “cheating on myself.” Totally get that.
-love you
Beth – you just had a baby – give yourself a break!!! Plus, are you nursing? I think you are nursing – your body stores fat cells while nursing – FOR THE BABY!!! Around 8 months old(your little one) THEN you will start to see the pounds slip off – when he starts to eat real food. Chin up girlie – you are keeping that little one healthy!!
You are an amazing Mom. An amazingly talented writer. I am so sad to see you struggle. I struggle too. Everyone does….except maybe Halle Berry, Heidi Klum… I’m just jealous.
You are on the right path! What a great feeling to know that you have taken the first steps to your health and weight loss! That right there is a victory in itself! Chin up Girly!! You will be victorious!! And anyway, babies like a little meat on their Momma’s. Bones don’t feel so swell!!
Beth,
you need to remember to be patient and kind with yourself, just like you would be with you children. you JUST had a baby, and you are responsible for the care of 3 children. Every picture of see of you, you are smiling and happy and look absolutely beautiful. I am so hard on myself about weight, and it just isn’t worth it. we have to remember what our bodies have given us, what they have done, and remember the prize we got from those extra pounds and bumps! Be good to yourself!
You have to remember 1lb is better than none and it is 1lb closer to your goal. You also have to treat yourself once in a while. I went back on weight watchers with my husband about a month ago. I lost 1.2lbs this week.
HUgs!
It’s like you’re reading my mind…I feel the same way. I hate feeling like a dumpy-lumpy-frumpy mommy. My clothes all look terrible on me and I hate going shopping (I used to love it 50 lbs ago). I was mowing the grass tonight and the jiggling that was going on all over my body was downright embarrassing! Hopefully my neighbors weren’t paying too much attention!
As far as the doughnut sticks go, I SO understand. I eat something and get so disappointed in myself. I know I shouldn’t eat it, but NOT eating it doesn’t seem to help my weight, either! UGH…I’ve been contemplating starting Weight Watchers, too, but just haven’t gotten around to doing anything about it. SIGH. You are a beautiful person, inside and out…don’t get discouraged! I know you can do it (even with a doughnut stick here and there)!
Us Beths need to stick together, girl! 
Here’s what I do… I “allow” myself one treat a day ( usually ice cream). Then if I eat it, oh well. But if I don’t eat it then I can feel good about it. This way I don’t get down on myself for indulging which I know realistically I will do.
You are doing great and an inspiration to others no matter what you are wearing. Hang in there.
this is the most awesome comment ever.
also? i found it because i know just how you feel and was reading these comments pretending they were to me. =) and my “baby” is 18 months.
now. you really are beautiful. i know you don’t always feel it, but i see it every time i’m with you. love you. lots.
Thank you both for making me feel like the Chocolate Shake I had for lunch today won’t cause too much damage =)