So, I lost one pound this week, which is awesome considering we were visiting my sister. My sister and her husband are on Weight Watchers, too. We made a decision to be good and stay away from our typical spread of donuts and cookies.
Right now I’m typing this post on my iPhone, so no outfit this week. We are on our way to Brookfield Zoo. As I was getting ready this morning, I was really struggling with my clothes. I pretty much despise getting dressed, everything looks dumpy and I rarely feel or look cute. My belly hangs over my pants, my arms are thick and my thighs are wide. I literally switch from frumpy t-shirt to t-shirt settling for the one that makes me feel less like a college softball player. (without the muscle.).
I get so bummed.
We stopped at a gas station for coffee and decide, despite having a good breakfast of one cup of Raisin Bran with skim milk, to buy donut sticks.
As i’m reaching for this “treat,” I’m telling myself “this is the problem, this is what makes you not like the way you look.”
I buy them anyway.
I’m tired of cheating on myself.
I’m tired of feeling sad when I look in the mirror.
Hugs from another blogging Beth. And just so you know, when I look at the few photos on here of you, I see a beautiful, beautiful woman.
Just realized — in your little intro blurb at the top right, it says you’ve been married for 150 years. Am I reading that right?!
I can relate.
I started WW Jan 2007 lost 50 pounds in the first 6 months… then the loss slowed dramatically. I kept working and got to 73.4 pounds gone. 2 1/2 years in… I took 6 months off… the plateau was killing my spirit. I can stay focused if I can see the benefits of deprivity. I put about 15 pounds back on… and started the meetings again. Due to my stressful life experiences in 6 months I am where I started… and not going to meetings (again). Decided I would do WW Online but haven’t done it yet… Battling weight is so discouraging. I don’t want to give up.
ToOdLeS.
I know EXACTLY how you feel, as I reach for one of the Nutty Bars in my freezer…
I gained around 15 pounds with this baby (but I’m heavier anyway), then 6 weeks later had dropped 40 pounds…I told myself I was going to take advantage of that jump-start and keep losing, but it hasn’t happened
And I would kill to look as “dumpy” as you think you look
I am fairly new to your blog and sometimes partake of the You Capture, after reading your post I have to comment.
Of course you were hungry and ate a donut stick! A breakfast of 1 cup of Raisin Bran and skim milk is not going to fill anyone up. A good meal should keep you from feeling hungry for 3 hours. You need to cover all the nutritional bases to make that happen. I personally think Weight Watchers is not the best way to lose weight, my mom was a member for years and was always hungry.
It is not about self control either if you are always hungry you are going to eat and you will most likely pick “fast food” like donut sticks and ready to eat stuff like that.
If I may suggest a book for you to read it is called “Eat Fat Lose Fat” by Sally Fallon, it is not a gimmick weight lost system but will explain in detail which foods to eat to be healthy and a healthy weight will naturally follow.
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. We live in a society that values crazy things. Being skinny is more important than being healthy, which is nuts!!
I’ve had quite the weight loss journey myself over the years with tons of highs and just as many, if not more, lows. I’m at a low right now, to the point that I get nervous and embarrassed to leave my own house. I know the feeling that you described, the struggle with my clothes and how they fit and just how hard it is getting dressed on a daily basis. Being so sad when I look at myself in the mirror. I hate feeling self conscious but I do because I’ve failed myself. And I really do hate myself for it because I know I owe it to myself. Yet I let the cycle happen over and over. It’s so vicious and I can’t live that way anymore (or so I tell myself).
Anyways, all that to say – hugs. Hang in there. You are not alone. You can do it. Just take this as a bump in the road and move on past it.
We’ve all been there, holding that food we soooo know we shouldn’t have in our hand, having the battle inside, as it enters our mouth anyways.
Remember though, that body you are hating on so much right now is the body that grew your beautiful children (I on the other hand, with no children yet… have no excuse!!).
Give your body time, and it will eventually make it back to where you want it to be!
A loss is a loss
Wow, I relate so much. I was just staring at myself this morning at a loss at where to go from here. I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained weight, I’m sick of weight! And I haven’t even had any kids!
I am 8 mos pp and know exactly what you mean! Every time I start an exercise routine, it stops sooner than I want it to. But with two kids under two, every day is like an exercise routine…running after them!
Keep it up…even on those discouraging days!
I can totally relate – but for me it’s my mid-afternoon hot chocolate pick-me-up, or an extra spoonful of pasta. Or whatever… one step back, two steps forward. Right?
I am typing this comment after entering my lunch information into my Tap and Track app and nearly freaking out because I only have 500 calories left for the rest of the darn day and I am a night-snacker. I am contemplating 0 point salsa and 12 nacho chips as dinner just so that I can nibble on something delicious after the kids go to bed…and I wonder why I only lost .5lbs last week? Oy. But hey, a loss is a loss and slow and steady wins the race and …blah blah…you know it all. It is a fight but we will get there! Stay positive, you are beautiful no matter what!
Wow, the second blog in a row that I have read today where the blogger is struggling with her feelings about her weight. I know how you feel. Believe me I do.
It is okay to cut yourself A LITTLE slack!
Have a fun and happy day at the zoo! You’ll walk off the donut stick while enjoying the animals, your family, and the day.
p.s. you don’t know me but I am slowly working my way through the beginning of your blog…personally I think you are such an awesome woman and mom.
I think you’re aware of this (but a little reminder never hurt anyone!), but you’ve got a ton of us out here in the blogging world cheering for you.
I’ve never been on WW and have never had to lose baby fat (no babies- yet!), so I have no advice and I can’t say I’ve been there.
All I can say is Go, Beth, Go!
You can do it! And I agree with what’s been said already, don’t be too hard on yourself- God made a beautiful YOU! (And major props for sticking with this for so long- that’s a lot more than a lot of dieters can say!)
I really really really can relate. As I sat in the drive thru line at Whataburger last night! Hang in there. As you and I both know it is one day at a time. One meal at a time. One bite at a time. You can and will do it. Stay strong
I’m sure you already know this (but a little reminder never hurt anyone!), but you’ve got a ton of us fellow bloggers out here cheering for you!!
I’ve never done WW and never had to lose baby fat (no babies here- yet!), so I won’t pretend to have advice or say I’ve been there.
But I will say Go, Beth, Go!
You’ve stuck with this with a lot more determination than a lot of dieters. And more important than anything, God made a beautiful YOU!
Keep it up! And smile, we love you!
Throw that stick out the window…or if you keep them, at least track the points. I struggle everyday when I walk past a mirror with a first trimester bulge that has no baby inside and just grunt and slump down a little more.
We’ll get there….just keep the path towards getting there. Don’t let the donut sticks win! Hugs pretty lady, we’ll get there!
Oh Beth its been a while since I have commented on your blog but I wanted you to know I think you look fabulous! I too am struggling with PP weight my lil one turns one in two weeks and Ugh I am no where near my WL goal! Keep plugging away! Your story inspires me to try harder.
PS life would be boring with out a donut stick or two thrown in every now and again!
I’m right there with you. I did a weigh loss competition at my gym (kind of like the biggest loser) and now I’ve plateaued at the same dang place I always get to before my body stops losing and then I get frustrated and start over-eating and I gain again. Vicious cycle.
Only this time, I’ve gotten rid of all my clothes that got too big, so that I cannot and will not go back this time.
I’m 100% convinced that we’re all beautiful and we’ve all got this!
I can so totally relate to this. I feel like I am stuck in that same cycle everyday. For every good thing I do for myself I end up lecturing myself as I do something that’s not good. I just want to be happy to get dressed in the morning and not live in t-shirts with my squishy belly rolling over the top of my jeans. I wish I could take the advice everyone always says to love yourself as you are – I wish every woman, every person could – but it is SO hard.
I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL!! my son was born the day before eli and i still have some baby weight to lose. i went shopping last week and NOT A SINGLE pair of shorts fit me!!! i eat salad all day and walk a lot, i guess i just takes time
oh sweets, you are so beautiful, but I know we see what you want us to see. But trust me when I say you are beautiful.
I was tired of shoving myself into pants and shorts that didn’t look good on me and I started getting flowy skirts. Most of the stuff is second hand and I have to say that after nearly 2 months of wearing skirts and dresses I love it and I am in love with the way I look and thankfully people have stopped asking why I am wearing dressing or asking me about my religion.
xo lady xo
My personal favorite was getting sick and tired of the frumpy clothes, and even though I was still overweight, I went out and bought a cute frilly, long skirt for work. But then my thighs rubbed together all day and chaffed. I felt so defeated.
Hang in there, you are beautiful!!!
While you are nursing this is probably not the best plan. BUT, when you are done i would suggest trying South Beach. I thought it was crazy too but I’ve been living this new eating lifestyle for 1 and months and I’ve lost 13 lbs. and haven’t felt this good in a while. Like I said, just a suggestion. And I “cheat” on occasion because well, I’m human!!
You’ll get there. It just takes time. And for some of us (ME FOR SURE!) a lot of will power…
hugs girl…
Give yourself a break, honey! You just had a baby!!!!
Oh Beth, be gentle with yourself. You are 3 months post partum. It took me a full year to lose my pregnancy weight (and even then, I was at a higher weight than I wanted).
I realize this is probably going to come out like a “you should feel lucky” sort of comment, but I swear, I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that my entire life, my ENTIRE LIFE, I have been unhappy with my weight. I have always wanted to be thinner. And in the past 4 months, I have dropped over 20 pounds. It’s falling off me. My clothes are hanging off me (literally). I’m thinner than I was freshman year of high school.
And I could give a shit. I would pack it all back on to feel whole. So without sounding too lecture-ish (too late?), I guess my point is to *try* to put weight in its proper perspective. You have such a full life with so much love. You can always lose weight. Embrace your beauty and know that being skinnier isn’t really all its cracked up to be. Love you.
please don’t beat yourself up. and if you do, then use it to make a difference. i do believe that we should be critical of ourselves … but ONLY when it brings about positive change.
so if it’s weight loss that you’re after, then look in the mirror, complain about it for a bit, and then make those changes in your life. and post about it, because there are a ton of readers in the same boat who WANT to support you.
i think you’re beautiful … and i love you just the way you are. xo
I’m feeling the same way Mama. I’m almost 5mo PP and the last 6 weeks, I’ve been working on really dropping the weight. I’m going through it publicly on my blog. Go check it out. I hope it inspires you!
That being said, I’m the SAME WAY! I eat crap and then get mad at my body for being fat. lol. It’s a horrible cycle. Instead of beating myself up, I use all of those down moments as inspiration. I don’t believe in not eating what you want. You CAN eat what you want and be healthier overall. I’ve learned that first hand. It friggin sucked at first, but I just started eating/drinking healthier alternatives. Instead of eating the ENTIRE danish at work [I work at a coffee shop with yummy gooey pastries!], I’ll eat HALF of it and wash it down with a large glass of WATER..instead of the syrupy coffee I’ll have or my favorite syrupy italian soda or lemonade. I also try to run/walk and strength train at the gym 2-3 times a week. In the last 6 weeks, I’ve seen that I crave less junk and more healthier alternatives. We stock our house with healthy snacks too so I’m not tempted to open a bag of chips. YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!!! I’m right here with you! Let’s do this okay?!
Trust me when I tell you that I know exactly how you feel. I had a baby girl 7 weeks ago. I have yet to lose most of my pregnancy weight. I was a size 10-12 pre pregnancy and I can barely fit into a size 16 now. Some days are really hard and it’s SUCH a struggle to find something to wear. However, I am bound and determined to pass on a healthy body image to my daughter. I have battled with my own body image my whole life (as did my mother) so I have made a commitment to my daughter to love myself. Before I gave birth I read the following in the book “Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?” by
Clair Mysko and Magali Amadei:
“The stakes are much higher when you bring kids into the picture. Of course, you won’t always feel like a beautiful, glowing goddess- and that’s okay. But even after one of those “ugly: days, every woman deserves to go to sleep believing deeply and implicitly in her own beauty. OUR CHILDREN NEED US TO BELIEVE IN OUR BEAUTY. Each morning you wake up feeling stronger and more confident, you will be better prepared to help your daughters and sons find their strength and confidence.”
Maybe this will resonate with you as well. I carry that quote around with me. It has really made a difference in my thinking! I don’t even want my daughter to feel any negative energy regarding my body image, so when I hold her, I try to really think loving thoughts about myself! It doesn’t always work. There still have been some tearful breakdowns, but I’m quicker to recover and quicker to remember the important and lovely things in life!
Good luck and lots of love to you!
You are beautiful. Your baby is three months old. I remember feeling exactly like you do when my third was that age. And then I joined Shrinking Jeans (remember us?!) and the support and motivation and most importantly, the WAY I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF has tremendously improved. Go visit us, m’kay? We love you, let us help you in any way we can……And now I sound like a cheesy car salesman : ).
MWAH!!!!!!
I know. I love carbs. I hate how I look. So then I feel bad about myself and eat more carbs to feel better…. and I do feel better right away but then I feel worse later b/c I feel guilty and get fatter. It’s a vicious cycle. Why can’t vegetables taste like a donut? It’s so unfair that are bodies are programmed to prefer the taste of hi-calorie foods to sustain us.. that was awesome during the hunting/gathering days but totally sucks now that high cal stuff is so abundant. And I totally think our brains get addicted to junk food…. those donuts make us feel so good when we first eat them.. it’s like a “high.” I don’t get that same happy feeling from fruit/whole grains/lean protein/vegetables. Wow, what a ‘debbie downer’ I am, but it’s the truth!
First, I love your blog and enjoy reading. Second, I, along with countelss others as it appears, am right there with you!
I am in a different kind of boat, but hey, a boat is a boat! I’ve been trying to loose weight BEFORE having a baby (which seems to defeat the purpose, but allow me to explain!). I battle blood clots (at the young age of 27, I’ve had 2 in the leg) and high cholesterol. With such nasty health problems hanging in the wind, they cause quite the problem … and my weight has a lot to do with both of them. While losing 50 pounds prior to conceiving sounds a little “crazy”, I’m desperate to get myself as healthy as I can to do all I can to reduce the risk of miscarriage or complications. I joined WW (for the third time in my life) on Monday, but this time, one of my very good friends is doing it with me, holding me accountable – we’re both hard-a$$es when it comes to getting something done, but soft on ourselves … so we figure, we’ll be hard on each other and that’ll do it!! Or so we hope!! So far, I’ve found having to email her my food and activity for the day holds me much more accountable than at the meetings … I feel worse having to fess up to her! Hang in there, girl !
I wish you could borrow my eyes. And also, my brain. A donut stick isn’t bad. It’s not healthy, sure, but you can’t be good ALL OF THE TIME. You have to allow yourself a splurge, and you have to be okay with it. You also have to remember that you had a baby just three months ago, and I think that there are very few women (myself included) who are happy with how they look at three months PP.
I know it’s so hard, but I also know that you are beautiful… and every time I see you? I just see beauty.
and I’m totally with you, my friend. Let’s make some changes for the skinny. good idea?
I can related. With my third child, I went from 130 to 200. Yes, that is right, 70 POUNDS. And only 2 or 3 pounds came off with delivery, how is that even possible.??? Anywho, struggling is not fun, it is TOUGH. After 18 months or so, I was down to the 140-150 range, and there I called it quits. Good enough.
But this is what I want to share most with you: Get yourself a few new clothing items that fit and feel pretty. It was what helped my self esteem most when I was feeling the worst about my weight. I was tired of squeezing into what I was before, and it only made me look and feel worse. Then when I bought a few things that fit the “more” me, and were flattering, I didn’t seem to look as fat, and I sure felt better. Sure, I knew that ultimatly I didn’t want to stay that size, and hoped that one day they would be too big for me, but it was still worth feeling pretty again.
*hugs*
have you tried spanx?
Remember…you are amazing and grew those little humans! Cut yourself some slack
I think we can ALL relate. Donut sticks have gotten the best of all of us. I just packed away an entire rubbermaid container of clothes that I’m not able to fit into this summer that I usually do wear. And I haven’t had a baby in 5 years!
Your title made me crack up by the way.
I am with you too….and I don’t even have any type of post pregnancy excuse. I’m doing good with eating this week, but am on vacation next week so we’ll see…good luck!
Oh Beth, I hear you. It’s been several years since I had a baby but I remember feeling the way you feel- all broad and frumpy and down. Trust me (and everyone else who’s commented the same) when I say that no one else sees you the way you see yourself right now. You look lovely in the pictures on your blog.
You have a houseful of little kids and a lot on your plate (no pun intended!) right now. Maybe for the summer drop WW and just try to eat as healthfully as possible- but still allow yourself a treat each day. I’ll bet you still lose weight.
I’m certainly no expert. I just have a soft heart for post-partum women. I loved my babies but I remember how hard it was for me. You seem like a beautiful person and mother and I don’t want you to be too hard on yourself.
Don’t be so hard on yourself! You DO need to treat yourself every once in awhile! Otherwise you’ll just go crazy one day and eat everything in sight…..believe me.
Sam
Mom.Undecided.
http://momundecided.blogspot.com/
*Come on over – I’m hosting my first giveaway!*
This post breaks my heart. First because I can relate only too well and actually rejoined WW today again for the 12th time. The first time I did it I lost 40 lbs and became a lifetimer member – I never looked better. Well then I gained it all back multiple times but I am truly sick of letting it beat me – I am taking the reigns back and I will succeed this time. Secondly, you can too!!! It’s not easy but we want it so bad and when I do have kids I want to pass along good habits to them, not the crumby ones that my parents taught me growing up. Chin up – you can do it!
You just spoke what’s on my mind. As I sit here in sweats because nothing else fits comfolrtable or cute-ly, eating microwave s’mores. Half of my clean clothes are all over the floor of my closet as I’ve tossed them aside each morning because they don’t fit. Need to make a change.
Also, I have no idea what comfolrltable means, but I meant to say “comfortably.” The dangers of commenting one handed while shushing and bouncing the baby.
You are making a lot of changes, though, and are in the right direction- can you sense it? Also, I would give anything for your thighs.
Steph
I so could have written that.
I started co-writing a second blog (this one about wieght loss and stuff) in the hope it would spur me on and I am not achieveing what I want to. The blog is Back Away From The Donut http://backawaydonut.wordpress.com/
HUgs
Beth, dammit, you just had a baby. You are nursing. You can eat a damn donut stick thingy if you feel like it. Get a Flexees tank, it will change your life, I swear. I wear mine all the time, I bought a damn bathing suit that has the equivalent of a Flexees built into it, for god’s sake and my “baby” is two and a half.
To review, donuts are delicious, shapewear is your friend, and I think you are amazing. Your body took nine months to grow and change with Eli, give yourself some time to go back, you know?
xoxoxoxo-Z
Beth, I think you are an amazing person, and kudos to you for keeping with WW – and telling all of us about it! You can do it!
For me, what has been working at this point in my life, with both finances and nutrition, is thinking about how it is going to impact someone else, my family. As crazy as that sounds, my mom brain is so wired to worry about everyone else. How does going overbudget affect my family? How does have an overweight and unhealthy mom affect my family? How do the habits I display impact my kids? Those kinds of questions have kept me eating much healthier foods, hopefully longterm.
Hey Beth,
This sounds so familiar……
Maybe if everytime I am weak I think of you and vice versa, we could help each other by staying away from the donuts (in my case cookies and freshly baked bread). If you loose some pounds for me I will do the same for you…. Good luck !
Ilse