Hi friends.
I just finished my bowl of Raisin Bran, I’m drinking my coffee out of my favorite red cup. Anna has chosen Raisin Bran today over Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Capn’ Crunch and Cookie Crisp. Noah is eating Capn’ Crunch. They are both eating a bowl of fresh fruit – cantaloupe, pineapple and bananas.
I love fruit this time of year. It’s so FRESH and CHEAP. I feel like all I do is cut fruit but I don’t care because it’s so FRESH and CHEAP.
What’s Eli doing? He’s asleep. It feels so weird to have him not near me. (I’m expecting his cries any second, however.) These past few days have been pretty difficult. Not just because Eli has been pretty fussy but in general I can’t seem to juggle all of the demands of being a Mom, a wife, a homeowner AND try to start my own business and be a good friend. Sister. Daughter.
I have a lot I want to say but I’m going to just not. Sometimes things don’t need to be said. We’ve been trying to teach that to Anna lately … just because you are thinking something, doesn’t mean you need to say it out loud.
So, that’s where I’m at with my frustrations with my life right now. I just need more time in my day. (don’t we all?) I need more time to myself. (don’t we all?) I just want to juggle it all and be graceful and positive and friendly during the process. (don’t we all?)
Anyway… in an effort to combat all that is troubling my heart right now, I’m going to share GOOD things with you.
First, my photo shoot with Megan went really well. She’s a wonderful soul – I can’t wait to photograph their baby boy when he makes his arrival into this world. Here are two of my favorite shots from our shoot:
Second, we’ve had two super fun play dates at parks with my best friends this week. Can you imagine? Hanging out with your best friends during the day while your kids play together? Feeling so fortunate about that.
{Love & Clay}
{Bianca & Elijah}
{Tommy, Bianca & Clay}
The rest of the kids just ran around the entire time we were at the park.
Third, today we get to have a little, tiny mini family reunion with my sister and her kids from Michigan, my sister-in-law and her three kids from Colorado and my parents. We are having lunch at our favorite restaurant. This makes my heart happy.
I need to (re)focus on making my heart happy because that makes me a better Mom, wife, homeowner, friend, sister and daughter.
I hope your heart has extra happy this weekend.
Eli is waking up.
Perfect timing.
The kids at the park and best friends together makes my heart smile. Enjoy your lunch today – how wonderful!
And I hear you on all that other stuff too… I have a lot to say that I don’t too.
The picture of Tommy, Bianca, and Clay makes me so happy. I love how the babies gravitate to each other (and to Eli in the stroller!). I also love how many park days we’ve had. I’m going to hold tight to them come September.
I KNEW that Redamaks would be what popped up when I clicked on the link for your favorite restaurant! Thanks for recommending it to me before we took our trip to Michigan City in June! It was delicious…and so was our vacation! We tried out many of the things you suggested and can’t wait to go back again next year! Thanks for your tips!
Hope you have a great mini-reunion with your family!
Love the photos…glad you got a chance to visit with friends! I have been feeling much the same way you are and can’t seem to “get ahead” in the house cleaning department, working at home department, etc. It is so frustrating, isn’t it? I find myself wishing school would hurry up and get here so I don’t have dishes and clutter everywhere. But then I realize it’s only about 6 weeks until school starts and I wonder where our summer has gone and want it to slow down! I contradict myself a lot, as you can tell!
Praying for you to find a comfort zone in all the areas you are feeling frustrated with. Also, hoping for Eli so he has many more good days than bad…
All of these photos are so summer and happy.
And I know the sad part of this post. I think we can only do the best we can. And try to be content with putting down the balls and stop juggling for a while, and take a rest. It will all fall into place.
Steph
This part:
So, that’s where I’m at with my frustrations with my life right now. I just need more time in my day. (don’t we all?) I need more time to myself. (don’t we all?) I just want to juggle it all and be graceful and positive and friendly during the process. (don’t we all?)
Yes, yes, YESSSSSS. This is something I struggle with often. I am trying to let go of some things, priortize, and cut myself some slack. Easier said than done on some days.
Hugs- hang in there!
Wow. I was just thinking about writing something like this today. I’m glad I’m not alone. ((hugs)) to you for finding a new rhythm which feels positive and motivating in making you feel like you have “it” together.
It’s hard to take time just for you with so much going on, I hope you find a few extra minutes a few times a day. Then I hope they multiply. Hugs friend, you are doing the best you can today…and that is all you can do. If I find any free time I will pass it your way!
I know how you’re feeling, because I think I’m at that same point right now…I have a 4 (almost 5)-year-old, a 23-month-old and a 3-month-old and I’m trying to get a photography business going. I’ve been taking steps toward making it all legal lately and trying to take care of 3 kids, a house and a husband and trying to edit pictures…oh, it all makes my head spin! To top it off I’m doing my first wedding tomorrow, which makes me both excited and want to puke at the same time! And I’m turning 29 in a couple weeks, so trying to enjoy the last of this decade as well
Anyway, I think we can only try to do our best, and find a “comfortable” place…and not think “when the kids get older this will be easier”…because it will be, but then they won’t be little anymore and we will wish for this chaos…
Wow, everyone is writing such good stuff today! What a good day. Re: time….you always find time to do the most important stuff, the essential stuff. Enjoy it and enjoy your weekend.
yes, we all do need those things.
megan is beautiful.
oh, a pregnant belly. sigh.
i’ve loved seeing you all so much this week.
i hope that this weekend is wonderful for you…that you enjoy your moments and have time for you & the things you need to do, too.
sometimes you write exactly what i am thinking.
its hard to catch up- i constantly feel like a fish out of water. surviving the mundane day to day but struggling to get ahead. somehow the days drag but the time flies. and in the meantime im lost somewhere in between!
hope your day gets better!
“I just want to juggle it all and be graceful and positive and friendly during the process.”
Yes, oh yes oh yes. Me too.
Don’t we all? Yep. So much. I feel like all I have to give just doesn’t cut it lately. It’s frustrating to feel like you just can’t do it all. Then I tell myself I’m just one person – to not worry about everyone’s expectations. Then I feel guilty or under appreciated. {sigh}
Beth, you don’t know how badly I needed to hear those words you wrote today. All day today I have been mentally whining about all kinds of things (ok, and whining a little out loud too). Really, for the most part, life is good and I am going to try to focus on that. You rock sister.
Hang in there Beth! We all have days where we don’t feel our best and sometimes those days last more than a day. Keep smiling. My motto is “Laugh; because if you don’t, you will cry”
As for the photos, they are just gorgeous! I adore both of the “belly shots” and the kids are so so so cute!
And, random note: My son has the same shoes as Clay!
i know AND understand exactly how you feel.
take time for yourself. everyone will be the better for it!
(preaching to the choir here!)
xo
lisa
I can relate. It’s SO hard to juggle it all. It’s difficult when you are used to being with your kids ALL the time to try to work on the computer and say – for right now you need to stay occupied with this because what mommy is doing right now really is important too. And to be okay with it. It’s hard. It’s hard to the kids in the transition, to not have 100% acess to mommy. It’s hard for mommy because there simply is not enough to go around. But stick to your guns mama. You are awesome simply for trying to get your photography business off the ground. It is HARD work. But it will be so great for your family! I try to remind myself of the bigger picture. I also try to really be in the moment. If I’m on the computer working I try to focus on that and get as much done as I can. Then I turn the computer screen off, walk away and have a tickle fight on the floor or take my kids out to the pool.
Your belly shots are TOTALLY adorable. One of my students used it in their inspiration board this week and I wondered where it had come from! I adore pregnancy photography! I think every mom should have beautiful photos of herself during the time when she feels so much less-than beautiful.
I think I can speak for the entire ‘sad’ part of this post. Because you are so off base on being a better daughter, you might be off base on everything else as well. You could not be a better daughter! You ask too much of yourself.
The pictures are beautiful and I love that you had some great times with your friends and their families.
After this busy week coming up, I’ll give you more time in your days. I promise.
Great post, Beth. I have no words of wisdom … just know we are all thinking of you. And we’re all in this boat together.
I love the “happy heart” … and not always having to say everything you feel. Good points. But we are our own worse critics. Just yesterday I said to my husband that I feel like I’m being a terrible wife and mom. He said I’m not and stop worrying about it. But I still do.
I’m sure in the big picture, you are an amazing wife, mom, daughter and friend. Keep believing it because it’s true.
Time. Oh, how I long for time. I am so identifiying with this right now, and I try to remind myself daily when it seems that nothing gets done that I am WITH my children. If nothing else, I am WITH them, and no one died. That’s really something! Of course I long to have time alone to just watch stupid TV, or, more importantly, write a novel, or organize my home or go shopping or get my haircut or whatever. But I’ve been WITH my kids. Enjoy your mini-break from blogging and hope you’re doing great things other places.