I just had the best idea and I swear to you, it just came to me at THIS moment and it’s seriously the best idea I have ever had. I am going to videotape Anna and Noah talk to the camera, as if the camera was Eli and I’m going to play that video for Eli ALL DAY LONG. OMG, I am so smart, I’m thinking about pulling the kids out of school just so I can do this.
I thought of this because, I admit, I have put a baby show on TV that is teaching sign language and Eli is watching it. I should feel badly about it but I don’t because it is making Eli happy and he deserves to be happy. And also my ears hurt from all of the screaming, which has been constant. And so loud. So loud that my ears vibrate. So loud that it makes toys go off.
Which is really freaky at 2 in the morning.
So yes, he’s watching a really cool show on ON DEMAND and he freaking loves it and he’ll probably stop loving it in 32 seconds so I’m just going to enjoy his contentedness for now because, you guys?
HE’S A HARD BABY.
and maybe I can blame it on his ridiculous case of reflux (we see a specialist in forty days, not that I’m counting) or maybe it’s because I’m old or maybe it’s because he’s always hungry and I suck at breastfeeding but whatever it is, it’s kicking my ass and hurting my heart and making me increasingly tired and weary.
I know this sounds really sad and concerning and well, it is but also, I’m okay (usually) (but not yesterday)(or last night). Yesterday, I had one of those cries where it hurts your face but it also felt good because FINALLY MY BREAKDOWN IS HERE. I realized I used to have these little (gigantic) meltdowns with Anna and Noah a lot and it was probably good for me but I really hadn’t since Eli was born probably because I am too tired or too busy. And also there are big kids always watching me.
But yesterday, it hit me in the face and kicked me in the stomach. It was good. It was necessary. It was time.
And now it’s over.
Brian has had very long days working and then going straight to class afterwards, leaving me flying solo (and crazy) all day and night which has left me thinking that maybe (Eli is screaming right now, can you him?) I should just quit trying to work at home and go work at an office and let someone more patient take care of Eli. (which I won’t do, so settle down.)
Last night, in an effort to pass time, I took all three kids to go stroller shopping with me at Babies r’ Us which maybe sounds like an insane idea but Eli loves being out and about so it worked out pretty well. The biggest problem was that after my day of listening to Eli scream I nearly bought every TOY! and teething & reflux remedy in the store. The only thing that stopped me was that my cart couldn’t take anymore and also the eleven dollars in my checking account.
Also, while we were there, Noah said he had a stomachache which makes Anna freak out because once she saw him throw up and now she’s traumatized so here is my 7 year old crying at Babies R’ Us because “NOAH IS GOING TO THROW UP ALL OVER EVERYTHING.” And then people stared at us for a long time. He didn’t throw up, he soon realized it was just hunger. Which made Anna dry her tears and ask me why we haven’t had dinner, yet. (the answer: because McDonald’s is on our way home, dear.)
The good news is that I am going out of town this weekend with Brian and Sir Screams-a-lot, we will be with my sister and Trey and my sister’s husband and we are going to eat and shop. THAT’S IT. JUST EAT AND SHOP. Well, Brian and my sister’s husband are going to DRINK AND GOLF. Seriously, that’s all we’ll do.
The funny thing is that I came here today to tell you to just go visit some of these other fun blogs because mine is boring and I have nothing to say, but apparently, I do.