I’m at a crossroads right now. I seem to always have a million things to do, Beth Fletcher Photography is doing pretty well. There are many things going on behind the scenes, business things that are a big deal to me but probably not to you. I’ve hired “a nanny” (my mom!) to come out a few times a week to help with Eli while I work but I’m still struggling. My house is a total disaster (I’ve never seen it so messy and disorganized) and yet I’m so inspired to change things like painting my living room walls and surround myself with pretty things that I love.
Making those changes keeps me inspired and because I live and work here, I think this actually ranks as among the most important things on my to-do list. But time and money really keep me from taking the leap into making major changes from “warm” and gloomy to uplifting color.
Right now I have a huge to-do list for my house and my business so I’m trying to tackle everything in chunks.
The thing is, I feel like this is possible because this guy is like a real baby now.
A baby who will play and not cry when he’s not being fed or held. Even when he was being held and fed, he still ALWAYS cried. I mentioned on Friday that things are changing, he is better and I am so grateful because he really is such a happy guy.
He’s amazing.
This means I need to do some restructuring with my time, I’m going to start a schedule of housework, like today is my kitchen day, where I clean the kitchen, mop, wash the kitchen towels and rugs and grocery shop (see the kitchen theme here?) And maybe tomorrow will be the office and the living room but I’ll see what tomorrow is like before committing.
I’m trying to do it all and I’m trying to do it well and I don’t see anything wrong with that but I realized, this weekend, in particular that above anything else, I want to be a good Mom, not just a fun Mom (because I totally am) but one who can keep all of the school crap together and have real conversations with the big kids and snuggle time EVERY SINGLE DAY with all of the kids.
I’m really excited about this but you’ll have to understand that this may be why I’m around here less.
But then again, maybe I’ll be here more because, you guys, I wrote this while Eli played next to me.
Things are definitely changing.
My sister, Sarah, bought this outfit for Elijah when I was pregnant with him, today is his first day wearing it. It reminds me what a dream come true he is really is.
Things around here are lighter & better, we all feel it. I can tell.
the brown speckles in his eyes are sooooo awesome! i LOVE his eyes
(and that he’s being nicer to mommy now too!)
I’m SO happy for you.
Theo was so colicky and I never thought he’d be a happy guy but he totally is. He’s laid-back and easy going! Loves to play with kids AND by himself! One day it just. . .changes and it’s amazing. A breath of fresh air.
You’ll do it all and do it well because you’re you.
xo
I am SO GLAD to hear he is rounding a corner. SO GLAD. I know your experience has been so much more challenging than ours, but when that increased dose kicked in, my gosh it was like the heavens opened & the angels sang. I hope the angels are singing for Eli every day from here on.
light and better is good. so happy you are working to make things smoother, I can’t imagine shuffling all the cards you have in your deck. But they are wonderful beautiful cards and it makes so many people happy when you share them!
Congrats on getting BFP stronger everyday!
I was going to comment on how much I love that outfit before I even saw your note about it! The note made me like the outfit even more.
Eli is such a blessing.
i know. believe me. same. exact. sentiments.
this business thing is rough but SO fulfilling too. i need it.
but i also need a happy life.
and a happy home.
and happy kids.
and sometimes sleep.
chin up mama! you are doing a fantastic job.
A-freaking-MEN! I was just telling my husband over the weekend how overwhelmed I feel sometimes trying to do it all- and do it well. I am so fortunate to be able to work from home and watch my daughter grow up. However, I can’t help but feel guilty that I don’t interact with her as much as I probably should, or that the house is a mess, or that clean laundry will sit in the dryer for three days before I get around to it. Thanks so much for sharing this- it’s so good to know us mamas are in it together! Keep up the good work
And! Your little Eli is absolutely adorable!
SO happy the wee guy is better!! YAY for happy babies!!
as for the housework- i stink at house work… so I made myself a check list. Its one week at a time- and each weekday has a room to clean (kinda like your kitchen theme) and Icheck it off when im done… HOWEVER i dont always get to every room every week like Iwant to. but its no biggie. the fact that I get to each on MORE OFTEN makes everything look better. And the really busy weeks- I dont feel as guilty for not doing stuff because I know Ill get back on it the following week. It has really made a difference and given me more time to do the fun things around the house that I want to do (projects and stuff) as well as more kid time.
I’m not surprised that bfp is taking off because you take fabulous photos. I love your energy and enthusiasm – I hope it rubs off on me!
My house (and life?) is an unorganized MESS right now. I need so bad to get on top of it all so I can feel lighter, too.
I’m happy for you, girl! Fab photos as usual!
First, you couldn’t have hired yourself a better nanny. Talk about practically perfect in every way. You’ve gotten your own personal Mary Poppins. Best of luck with your plans. Schedules make things possible. And that little boy is so stinkin cute. I can’t wait till he comes to preschool!
What a great uplifting post! I love that you’re getting all ‘your ducks in a row’ and figuring out systems and methods to make your life more organized and therefore better and happier. Eli is truly an amazing baby. Sounds like he better fuss up a little bit or I could lose my really cushy job with lots of perks.
I’ve been mostly silently following your story with Little Eli and I just want to encourage you and let you know that you are inspiring. And Eli is just adorable.
Me too, mama. Me. Too.
(well, the not-around-as-much stuff. Not so much the photography business or the Nanny/Gran. Of those two things, I am supremely jealous of and thrilled for you.)
So glad that things are looking brighter for you, Beth!
I’m so happy that ya’ll have turned a corner. Even the little rays of sunshine can make such a huge difference.
And OHMYGOODNESS he’s sooooo big!
I’m just so glad and you sound so positive and light in this post. I just love his little ears!
an inspiring post … and you have been doing amazing through the rough first few months.
and selfishly? this has given me hope that my high-needs, never content to be laid down baby will eventually play on her own. and that I will be able to clean for more than 5 minutes at a time. so thank you for that. xo
Oh, my dear. Don’t yourself so thin, but I believe that you are going to succeed in every single thing you touch. You are one of the most talented & gifted bloggers I follow, sincerely.
And, wow, to take pictures for a living that are beautiful is one thing, but to capture beautiful pictures of your OWN children, is such a blessing!
Sounds like you’re on a good path right now! I’m so glad that Eli is starting to come out of that ‘Not so Happy’ stage. That transition makes everything feel better! I’m so happy your Mom is able to help you out too. That is just AWESOME!!! Hang in there. Things will get accomplished and you will start to feel like you’re in control!!
Ahh, I feel good just reading this. Eli is such a cute little guy. Looks like you and your family are in for a fantastic holiday season. My best to you Beth!
When my kids were little and I needed to organize my time better I followed the Fly Lady system. It can be a bit overwhelming at first, but I did it my own way instead of messing with all of the “extras”. I had a calendar that organized when and what I cleaned/organized. It helped tremendously!
Perfectly worded, a Good mom, not always just the fun mom. I love that. I think we can be both at times, but as I tell my kids this isn’t a cruise ship. I strive to make our house a home, filled with beautiful things, that mean something to us. But reality is that we accumulate so much “junk”, either physical stuff or head and heart junk. Both clutter up our lives. I think it’s awesome that you see this too and are making steps to create what your family needs!
And, oh oh oh, is your little man adorable!! His smile is just gorgeous! I’m so glad the “i’m not happy ever but why don’t you just keep trying mom” phase is past and you have a fun, happy, healthy, sweetheart who will bring everyone tremdous joy!
Blessings!
Good for you! Take care of your needs as well as those of your family! So very important!
a) this post just inspired me to go around my house and get rid of things, except for stuff that i really love
b) i’m so, so glad things are going better with eli, oh my, he is a doll. that last picture got me!
c) i want to see pics of the painting makeover. for a couple of months now i have wanted to paint my living room a grey, but i don’t think it is going to happen anytime soon. maybe spring for me.
d) i love your honest posts
What a wonderful post! I’m so happy that you’ve turned that corner, where all of a sudden your sleeping, nursing tons, and clingy infant becomes a real baby. A baby that can go more than two hours without being fed, and can be sat down with a toy and actually play! And anyone that’s had the privilege of seeing your photography knew that BFP would be a roaring success. I’m so happy for all of your joy, and I can’t wait until my second little man makes his debut in six short weeks; I only wish I could have you shoot our newborn pictures!