I’m at a crossroads right now. I seem to always have a million things to do, Beth Fletcher Photography is doing pretty well. There are many things going on behind the scenes, business things that are a big deal to me but probably not to you. I’ve hired “a nanny” (my mom!) to come out a few times a week to help with Eli while I work but I’m still struggling. My house is a total disaster (I’ve never seen it so messy and disorganized) and yet I’m so inspired to change things like painting my living room walls and surround myself with pretty things that I love.
Making those changes keeps me inspired and because I live and work here, I think this actually ranks as among the most important things on my to-do list. But time and money really keep me from taking the leap into making major changes from “warm” and gloomy to uplifting color.
Right now I have a huge to-do list for my house and my business so I’m trying to tackle everything in chunks.
The thing is, I feel like this is possible because this guy is like a real baby now.
A baby who will play and not cry when he’s not being fed or held. Even when he was being held and fed, he still ALWAYS cried. I mentioned on Friday that things are changing, he is better and I am so grateful because he really is such a happy guy.
This means I need to do some restructuring with my time, I’m going to start a schedule of housework, like today is my kitchen day, where I clean the kitchen, mop, wash the kitchen towels and rugs and grocery shop (see the kitchen theme here?) And maybe tomorrow will be the office and the living room but I’ll see what tomorrow is like before committing.
I’m trying to do it all and I’m trying to do it well and I don’t see anything wrong with that but I realized, this weekend, in particular that above anything else, I want to be a good Mom, not just a fun Mom (because I totally am) but one who can keep all of the school crap together and have real conversations with the big kids and snuggle time EVERY SINGLE DAY with all of the kids.
I’m really excited about this but you’ll have to understand that this may be why I’m around here less.
But then again, maybe I’ll be here more because, you guys, I wrote this while Eli played next to me.
Things are definitely changing.
My sister, Sarah, bought this outfit for Elijah when I was pregnant with him, today is his first day wearing it. It reminds me what a dream come true he is really is.
Things around here are lighter & better, we all feel it. I can tell.