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Archive for December 2010 – Page 4

She holds with all she has

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010
By Beth

*Samantha updated here.*

Across town. Another girl. Teacher. Wife. Daughter. Friend.

Amazing photographer. (you can click on her link, it’s okay, I know she’s better than me, I can handle it, but make sure you come back, k?)

I’ve seen her work many times, admittedly I’m pretty intimidated by it. She’s extremely gifted not just with her camera but also with her words. The two create beautiful art that make me envious but in a way that it makes me want to reach for my goal of being a photographer even faster. (not in a way that I would have had her clubbed in the knee before a photo session, but in a way that says “yep, this the road you are supposed to travel, Beth.)

My friends are friends with her and I had never met her…

Last April, this girl, teacher, wife, daughter, friend and amazing photographer found out she had Hodgkins lymphoma. Since then she’s endured twelve rounds of chemotherapy and has continued to photograph and continues living with grace and strength.

She wrote a post last week about a session she did with Lovelyn. Part of the post said “These photos give me something to smile about.  These photos give me hope.  These photos give me something that defies cancer, that defies the crappy parts of life.  These days I am clinging so tightly to anything that brings that into my life.  In these photos, there are so many of those things…”

And then she shared a series of photos from the session, including this one:

When she wrote about finding hope within photos I knew I needed to contact her. I was so scared because what was she going to think? But I had to put my fear and reservations aside because something bigger than me was pushing me, gently, towards her and I could not ignore the nudging any longer. (by the way, this nudging had been going on for a long, long time.)

If she responded to me negatively (which I doubted she would) or if she didn’t respond to me at all, I knew I did what I was supposed to do…I reached out to her.

As I rocked Eli to sleep, I composed an email in my head, I laid him down, sat down at my computer and I wrote. The words flowed from my fingertips onto the screen, who I was, how I knew who she was, why I was contacting her and also trying to let her know that I’m not a stalker-freak.

I knew I had to photograph her in this season of her life. In the post, she wrote about finding out on December 8th if the chemo had worked, so in the email I asked if I could photograph her before the 8th.

My words to her:

“I want to capture the spirit of what you are going through, which is so difficult and painful but also, to us? It’s inspiring and beautiful and your strength and willingness to share is making us live better. And I want to show you what I’m talking about. And maybe you won’t see it right away but in five years, when this cancer beast is HISTORY. You will. And you’ll show your children and your grandchildren and they’ll also know what a fighter you were.”

I hit send without a second thought.

Not too long after, she replied. She knew who I was and yes, she would love it if I photographed her. She wrote with such a grateful heart.  She had ideas and we set a time and place and then we met on Sunday afternoon. I was nursing Eli before leaving and I said to Brian “what did I get myself into, how could I think I could ever photograph her?”

Friends, I was so nervous.

But our session began and it flowed and it worked. And it happened, I captured her beauty.

Uphold-WM-2930

…her love.

Uphold-WM-2811

…her resiliency

Uphold-WM-2836

and her mind blowing strength

Uphold-WM-3055

and most definitely, her perseverance

Uphold-WM-3038

In my facing my fears, forgetting my photographic inadequacies and listening to that voice telling me to “go, go, go and connect with Samantha,” I captured something so much bigger than I ever imagined possible.

On this couch, in a field, in the snow, in Indiana…I captured one of the strongest people I have ever met and I need to share her with you.

Because we could all use the inspiration and Samantha, well, she could definitely use your prayers.

Tomorrow…is December 8th.

Categories: Friendly

Tiny Prints + other sundries

Monday, December 6th, 2010
By Beth

Hi friends.

I hope you all had a great weekend. Ours was so full of awesomeness that I can hardly take it. Friday night, I had a night out with friends, we did meditation yoga for 90 minutes (SO INCREDIBLE) and then went out for fried food and beer and great conversation and I stayed out until eleven and guess what? I didn’t turn into a pumpkin. I KNOW.

We woke up on Saturday to snow on the ground which made the day extra blissful and relaxing, the kids both had parties to attend where Noah received a mystery injury on his face and Anna painted pottery and I finally started my Christmas shopping.

Socks.

I bought socks.

Saturday night, we put up our tree. Christmastime with kids is nothing short of magical.

Sunday, well…Brian did the meal plan for the week, I made the list and he did the grocery shopping, I threw a pork tenderloin into the crockpot and later headed out to the most amazing photo session EVER. It’s so special and I can’t wait to share this person with you.

For now, I have the winner of the Tiny Prints Holiday Card giveaway, the winner is Jenn. (gmail address, she’s been notified)

Thank you to Tiny Prints for their generosity. They really are one of my favorite companies to work with and their products are among the best!

Finally, I’ve posted here, if you want to take a looksy.

And I have to tell you about my friend Kate’s new website, it is remarkable. She had this idea and I watched it grow, flourish and become reality last week. Love Kate and I love Big City Belly.

Happy Monday!

Categories: stupid crap

Friday Morning Coffee

Friday, December 3rd, 2010
By Beth

It is Friday but it’s not morning and I’m not drinking coffee.

This morning I was at my Great Aunt’s funeral. The term Great Aunt seems so far removed and I guess, in a way, she was. In life we become so busy with our own nuclear families that our more distant relatives (in the next town over) sometimes fall by the wayside.  Well, not really them, but the relationships.

Christmas cards. Family reunions. Funerals.

I knew I had to attend this funeral because she was my Grandma’s sister and my Grandma, oh, we miss her so much. (and her apple cake and her jokes…)

I sat in the parking lot of the church today, Eli in the back and felt my heart race. I feared songs being sung that would send me spiraling back to James and Jake’s memorial service. When choosing their songs, I chose ones that I loved, not really thinking that in the future they would propel me into sadness whenever I hear them in the future.

They don’t tell you these things. Which is good because being propelled into sadness isn’t always a bad thing.

I’m feeling a lot of hurt in my heart today. My all time favorite teacher passed away on Wednesday. He taught me and my five brothers and sisters. He also taught my Dad when he was in high school. He was my Spanish teacher for three years straight and impacted my life greatly.

I remember he would stand at the front of the class, leaning against his desk, his arms crossed in front of his chest and he’d chuckle quietly and say “idiotas.” When he did that, I knew he was in a good mood.

I graduated with his son. His son was in my class those three years. Recently, thanks to social media, we’ve reconnected and it was him that told me about the death of his Dad, my teacher. My friend, lost a baby a few months ago. I’m so worried about his heart right now.

My Great Aunt, many years ago, lost a baby girl at birth. About ten years ago, my Great Aunt had a dream that she was in a fierce storm through great winds as she held a baby in her arms. After the storm passed, the could not find the baby. She finally did and when she did there was golden light and peace.

(that’s what it feels like when you lose someone you love, you are holding on for dear life, sometimes without even realizing it, but something bigger and stronger than you, rips that someone out of your arms.)

She awoke from that dream no longer afraid to die because she knew she would hold her daughter in her arms again.

I think about my Spanish teacher, holding his grandson in his arms, chuckling at his soft baby cheeks and saying something affectionate in Spanish, maybe “precioso.”

I’m thinking about my Grandma right now, holding James and Jake in her arms and rejoicing that finally, her sister and her niece are together,  after all these years.

And that’s how I’m finding my peace today.

Categories: Friday Morning Coffee

You Capture – Kindred

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010
By Beth

Kindred (noun): a group of related individuals.

Kindred (adjective): of a similar nature or character.

I like to think I’ve covered both definitions today.

helper

ISO 500 | F/2.8 | 1/1000

kids-shoes

ISO 200 | F/2.8 | 1/125

Now it’s your turn to share!

PLEASE READ THIS GUIDELINES, especially, yes, especially if you have never linked up!

1.  Anyone can join in on the challenge at anytime.
2.  Please make sure the photos you use were taken for the challenge, meaning do not search your archives for an appropriate photo.  The goal of You Capture is to get you out taking photos each week!
3.  Use YOUR photos.
4.  When linking up, only link to your You Capture blog post, not your main blog URL.   (incorrect links will be deleted.)
5.  You MUST link back to You Capture in your post.
6.  I encourage you to visit other participants and leave comments.  This is a great way to meet new friends!

{more You Capture info can be found here.}

YouCapture_300x150

Sweet. (back in May 2009, “sweet” was our topic. I think we need to bring it back but at a different time of year.)

Happy Capturing, Friends!

Categories: you capture.
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