We are down to the nitty gritty. Well, not really, but finally we have a week of Idol with less than 429 performances. Whew, what a relief.

So, we’ve got thirteen contestants. Tonight, I’m going to comment on the boys and Adam on the girls. At the end we are each going to make a prediction of who we think is going to be voted off. Who ever is right is THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE LAND. Feel free to leave your predictions in the comments.

I’m watching the intro song and I see Taylor Hicks’ face show up and honestly, I can’t believe he won Idol one year. I mean, wow, who voted for that guy? Okay, yes, I probably did, but dammit, that Soul Patrol stuff was catchy!

As we all know, Adam’s pretend girlfriend is Jennifer Lopez and tonight she is wearing ruby red lipstick. I have a feeling Adam is going to be very distracted by them lips. I know I am.

Adam: Um, yes. Jennifer. She knows how to be beautiful for a living. I am not distracted. I’m a professional. I just hope no one can see the gigantic “WOW!” speech bubble over my head. Now, normally this would be the part when I say, “I’m so good at predicting the losers,” except I’m pretty sure I completely failed last week. My favorite girl (Lauren . . . the talented one) didn’t even advance. Harumph.

Instead we have the other Lauren (Alaina) who, for Idol Week on American Idol, is singing Shania Twain’s “Any Man of Mine.” She has a beautiful voice but made a terrible choice. Those upbeat, fast-paced songs are great for line dancing, but terrible for Idol singing. She didn’t finish her notes. She didn’t sing with energy. And I’m pretty sure she made her outfit out of drapes. Nice drapes, but still.

Beth: This song brings back memories of wedding receptions and karaoke. And Adam, I’m not just saying this to show off, but I think I sing this much better than Lauren. Then again…I think anyone could. ouch.

My favorite guy is up next, Casey Abrams. He’s singing Joe Cocker’s A Little Help from my Friends. I love Casey, A LOT. Seriously, I WANT to buy this song, right now. I have goosebumps. Can we just name him the winner now? Because really? The only point in continuing the rest of this season is to promote Coke and Ford because this guy? He’s going to win. Oh, yes.

Adam: I don’t know how he managed to sing that in the style of Joe Cocker yet also completely own the performance as an original, but he did. And then they cut to J-Lo’s lips and the performance got even better. Yes. He and the red lipstick can take home the title right now.

Adam: Beth, are you a Diana Ross fan? Ashthon Jones is. I know Diana Ross is talented, but her greatness belonged to another era. I kind of wish Ashthon had not attempted to bring it back, because it came off looking like a school talent show routine. And I’m definitely not a fan of school talent shows. It sounded like she was distracted by the big note waiting in the distance and forgot to concentrate on everything else. And then missed the big note.

I like Ashton and yes, I like Diana Ross. And I thought maybe my ears were broken but she sounded really pitchy and quite flat in many parts of this song. So, not a fan of this performance. But I want to sleep on her dress. Satin sheets are comfy.

Paul is singing a song by Ryan Adams. I’m not sure who that is but that’s okay. Paul is a weird dude, he’s either a really young fun guy or he belongs in The Bee Gees. Is there something wrong with his voice or his nose or something? How did this guy make it his far? I don’t understand. Why is he so jumpy and jiggly? I’M SO CONFUSED, GET HIM OFF MY SCREEN.

Seriously, judges? Just tell him he sucks and move to the Coke commercial. America does not get it. I’m feeling irate right now.

Adam: Ryan Adams is hard to figure out. I like him, but every album he ever records is in a different genre. I think you’d like at least two versions of him. I did figure out Paul though. He’s that guy who got really drunk at the Civil War reenactment and then blamed a cat for stealing his car keys. But he’s a happy drunk, and merrily tried to coax the cat out from behind some bushes. The cat ran away, he chased the cat, and then, I think, he ate the cat at the end. That’s what I saw right there.

Pia Toscano could have just given her interview and intro and worn her four different outfits and dazzled at every turn and not sung a single note. She is gorgeous drizzled in awesome sauce. Then she did sing and smacked me upside the head for doubting her ability to win this thing. And even the roof of her mouth is kinda pretty. She sang so well I didn’t even notice that ridiculous train on the back of her otherwise spectacular dress.

Pia sounded good, maybe a teeny tiny screechy in my book, in just a few parts, but then again I was distracted by an ice cream sandwich. Where Adam, obviously, was not.

James Durbin is performing a song by Paul McCartney. I love Sir Paul and I love the emotion behind it. I liked this performance (which may be my first time ever.) I LOVED the beat and the feel and Jennifer’s lips are so red.

Adam: Maybe when he said “Paul McCartney” I gasped. And maybe I clapped when he said he was singing this song. Maybe I watched this one standing up and dancing. Remember when Crystal Bowersox stabbed this song to death on last year’s finale? I think James revived it. Now the song and Sir Paul are doing just fine. I loved it.

“My idol is Leann Rimes. I’m working with Rock Mafia.” Heh. I hope America appreciates how good Haley Reinhart sang that song. It wasn’t a magical pop hook or a power ballad, but her singing was rich and nuanced and unbelievably difficult. Also: cute as a button. She better not be going home.

I was skeptical of Haley singing this song but you know something about me, Adam? I love Patsy Cline and this song channels her so, I liked it. (btw, I totally typed the Patsy Cline part before Steven mentioned her because seriously, I love Patsy.)

Jacob Lusk is up next, it’s so interesting to me that he loves R. Kelly. “I don’t see nothin’ wroooong, wit a little bump n’ grind.” Oh, he’s not singing that song. That’s too bad. That song is so catchy. For real, though, “I Believe I Can Fly.” Jacob took his voice to levels that honestly? I don’t think have ever been hit before. Damn, Jacob. You can sing, friend

Adam: Pretty sure Jacob invented new rules of melody on that performance. That was genius. That was breathtaking. That was so . . . Raven.

I’m really enjoying tonight. Beth, can you remember a top 12/13 this good? I can’t. Thia Megia kept it going, and she has a surprisingly sultry quality to her voice. She sounds 40. In a good way. Was her idol Charlie Chapman? Anyway, her performance was beautiful, although the upbeat transition in the middle didn’t work as well as I thought it might. Still, that girl is all voice.

Thia, Thia, Thia, how can you wear such a beautiful dress and wear those big clunky sandals? Don’t ever do that again. ugh. I’m annoyed but fortunately, she’s adorable and she sounds nice, the end felt very weird to me, she should not do that again, either.

Stefano Langone is singing Lately by Stevie Wonder and man, I love, love, love this song. Stefano is surprisingly intense and I liked this performance. Started rough but I liked the end a lot. Wasn’t he on Charles in Charge? I’m serious.

Adam: True confession, I bought a cassette of an MTV Unplugged with Jodeci’s version of this song and wore. it. out. So hearing the Stefano Club Mix was painful for me. I thought it got a little sloppy stylistically, although the kid can hit all the notes. An ambitious move, I’ll give him that. (And I don’t remember him from Charles on Charge. Step by Step, maybe?)

Adam: First, Karen Rodriguez took the night sky with all its stars, and made a halter-top pants-dress out of it with a hole for her belly button. Then she sang another Selena song to impress J-Lo. And then I fell asleep only to be awoken by J-Lo’s bright red lipstick saying she didn’t like it that much. Did you catch something I missed, Beth?

Well, after Karen fell into the pile of rhinestones, she brushed herself off (mostly) and did just a fair job of this song. She is so cute and sweet but so many parts of this song just didn’t sound good to me. In fact, I was pretty excited for it to end because all that sparkle made my eyes hurt.

Scotty McCreery, well, I’m pretty upset about two things. First, Scotty, what did I tell you? WEAR A COWBOY HAT. Seriously, the ladies (me) love a guy in a cowboy hat. The second thing is that he didn’t sound that great throughout the song, maybe that’s because it’s SUCH a classic. I don’t know, I’m disappointed in this performance but I like him so much that I still enjoyed it. And put on a ding dang cowboy hat, Scotty.

Adam: I wish he would have sung “Rodeo.” But for this song, he should have been sitting down. And kept his face still. With a cowboy hat on.

Naima Adedapo sang a song I never really cared for, “Umbrella,” by Rihanna. But I LOVED Naima’s version. Technically, it was pretty rough. But stylistically, she electrified the stage, pretty much literally with some of her production elements. I just love her personality. And her super-hightop Chuck Taylors.

Man, the producer’s name is Tricky. I am so mad that my name isn’t Tricky. Hey Aunt Tricky! Hi, I’m Tricky! I think I enjoyed this performance, it was so different, what with that dancing and the reggae and whatnot.

Who’s going home?

Beth’s prediction: Paul, please!
Adam says: Karen