I have this story to tell that I’ve never told. I think only my sister was in the hospital room, along with a nurse. She had taken James and Jake away from us a few minutes before, we’d never see them again. I was still recovering from that moment, the pure and utter disbelief that they were gone.
She brought the clothes that they had been wearing back into the hospital room. The smallest dresses and hats you have ever seen. It’s quite silly really but I guess, as they slept near me the night before, they did help me believe the pieces of clothing were helping to warm their chilled bodies.
The nurse asked me if I wanted her to wash the clothes, they needed to be washed because they were soiled with blood. I said no. She said “are you sure? I don’t mind.”
I looked at her. The words barely able to escape my mouth “it makes me feel like their Mom if I can wash them.”
She stopped and walked hurriedly towards me, “I have to hug you.”
And for that brief ridiculous moment a few days after returning home from the hospital, I did, I felt like I was their Mom. I washed, dried, folded and smelled their laundry. I smelled them for days and days until finally, I put them away.
This? This is why I do the March for Babies. Because it makes me feel like their Mom. I can rally my teammates (both old and new), design and order shirts, send out emails, raise money, take photos, walk…for my sons. I have no further laundry of theirs to do, I can’t hold them tight after a bad dream, I can’t make five different types of food for them for breakfast because they’ve decided to be picky, I can’t teach them to tie their shoes, I can’t chase after them at family functions.
But I CAN do this. For them.
And I CAN do this for other Mommies, so they don’t have to.
I can’t really express to you what it feels like when someone donates to Team James and Jake. It’s more than excitement. It’s love and passion. It fills my body with hope and joy. My soul smiles and cries all at once. I’m reminded again and again how wonderful it is that they were in our lives, for even such a small amount of time. We are so blessed.
It’s not about the amount, it’s about the thought, it’s about the support. I promise you this.