These last few weeks have been incredibly disappointing to me. By the time I wake up Monday morning, Gloom and Doom have arrived, not even giving me a chance to start off on the right foot. Each week I try to break myself free from it and it works, but only briefly. But last Friday, when I was officially diagnosed with strep throat, I thought, “that’s it, I give up.”
And not that I was giving up and hiding underneath the covers and crying and pouting, I was just giving up that I had to accept the bad with the good. I’m always to willing to open my arms up to great opportunities and warm hugs, beautiful things and good health. Well, I can open my arms to a little bit of pain, too.
Lately, there have been so many thunderstorms in my life and even during them, I’d know they were purposeful, I always believe in the brightness shining brighter after the darkness (and even during the darkness.) I just thought maybe this time, I need to stop. Sit in bed, do not work or write or email, allow Brian to bring me Tylenol and rub my feet, browse on Pinterest, eat ice cream, doze off, just accept that sometimes life seems really hard and you feel beat up.
I’m okay with that. Because at least I have the chance to get back up, to let the sun warm my shoulders and to wake up and do everything I can to at least attempt to kick ass every single day.
Sometimes I can’t. Sometimes I won’t. But sometimes, I will. And that will always leave me grateful because at least I have the choice.
Thank you for this post. I have been feeling the same way and you’ve given me a new outlook. Hope you are feeling better. XOXO
Beautifully put. Sometimes we feel obligated to push through and smile in spite of all the turmoil in our own hearts but it’s okay to feel down and we need to give ourselves permission to not be happy all the time. There will be sun again. I’m glad you know you have the choice. And I certainly hope that sunny days are right around the corner! <3
I can completely relate. I think sometimes we just have to let ourselves feel down, so that we can come to appreciate the good when it rolls back around. Things WILL get better. They always do. Feel better!
Wow! I felt like this is exactly what I would have written for how I’ve been feeling – minus the strep throat. I hope you feel better soon, Beth! My mom always said these are just seasons of life and you will come through it. And generally, it’s more beautiful than before.
Also, the picture with this post is absolutely adorable!!
I really needed to hear this today. Actually, I really needed to hear this right now, in this moment. Thank you.
I’m a longtime reader, but rarely comment, and wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you during this very difficult time. Sending you sunshine today.
Strep is the worst! Hope you get better soon.
Thank you for the reminder that the storms are purposeful. It’s a good way to look at it all. There are always things to be learned from every storm.
Andrea
what a great post, beth. i needed this…
I’m not writing in sympathy but in empathy. I feel the worse before the daylight. I sometimes wonder why God lets me feel that way when I am most trying to be everything to Him, to my family to His ministries. Anyway, not even sure if you’re religious but what the heck. I’m now back centered and feeling balanced so I’m just sayin’. . . the time will come for you too.
very well said…keeping you close!!! xoxo
Very funny!!!
We all go throw some rough patches and it can be hard to accept and hard to go through, especially when we are trying sooooo hard to be positive. One thing I find that works is to write down (or at least mentally visualize) a few “simple” things that went well or that brought a smile to your face or your child’s face. I try to go to bed reminding myself about these simple things instead of focusing on all that I didn’t do.
Hoping you feel better soon! HUGS!