Like, getting way better.
It’s hard to believe that just three weeks ago I was in so much pain that I couldn’t walk or really, MOVE. Thanks to physical therapy, I’m feeling like a typical pregnant lady.
I love that.
So, yes. We are in the home stretch and I’m starting to panic a little bit. I’m not panicked about her arrival. I can’t wait. I can’t wait for those baby squeaks and seedy diapers, the middle of the night feedings, the nursing struggles, the shared time with the siblings, the balancing act that will have to occur between her and three other children and recovering from a c-section.
I’m ready for that. And I’m going to cherish it, too. I may have tears running down my face and be frustrated and want to quit but deep down in my heart I’ll know that this is it for this chapter. This baby-ness, this new-ness and it will go by so quickly, so I want it to come and rest on our family and let us carry it the way that we do.
I’m not so much ready for this pregnancy to end. As difficult as these past few weeks have been. Another mild concern (???) is that we, uh, she, keeps failing her NSTs. I have weekly NSTs due to my high blood pressure and my history with James and Jake. (by the way, my blood pressure has been STELLAR, I’m on half of the meds I was on with Eli and my blood pressure has remained perfect, although, it’s slowly creeping up, it’s still … STELLAR.)
So, each week, I waddle through the hospital parking garage, cross the street, climb the stairs and walk through endless hallways to reach Labor and Delivery. Every time people wish me “good luck,” thinking I’m about to deliver, some people make comments about my hugeness. Yesterday, as I was leaving Labor and Delivery, a doctor was heading in my direction and he jokingly said “uhhh, I think you are heading in the wrong direction.” I laughed because it’s true. I’m large. (but I love it.)
(I only get angry at people’s comments when they insist that I must be wrong about a.) the number of babies residing in my belly or b.) that my due date is incorrect. Those are the people that are risking their lives just by continuing to speak to me.)
(sometimes, I dream of having a spray bottle filled with water and when they won’t stop talking about my size, I can just start spraying them, like you do with cats that won’t stop climbing your screens.)
Anyway. The baby’s heart, well, it just won’t accelerate the way they like. Her heart rate is great but after movement they like to see the heart react, like it would, if say, you climbed a bunch of stairs, your heart rate increases and then it eventually slows. Well, hers is just sorta anti-climatic. It has been since Week 28, when I began my NSTs. But back then, because she was younger, they weren’t all that worried but now that she’s older they have to take measures to make sure she’s okay.
So, after each failed NST, I have to go down to ultrasound and have a Biophysical Profile done. So far, she’s passed every single one. Although, each time, she barely passes.
What can I say? She’s easy going. She takes after her father. When he’s super angry or just finished running three miles, his heart rate is 45. Resting it’s 8.
Or something like that.
So, she’s calm and maybe that means she’ll be calm when she’s born or maybe she’s saving all of her energy to share with us. Who knows?
Back to the panicking. I’m beginning to panic about work and being too far behind and still having a few sessions left. I’m worried about the state of the baby’s room (not that it matters but if I can’t finish it now, there’s no way I’ll finish it with a newborn.)
Anna and Noah’s room is soooo close to being finished. Like, I think I could finish it today, if I put my mind to it. (or if my body allowed me to do it.)
All this to say that something tells me that it will all fall into place. Brian has been amazing, doing everything around the house, including childcare and these added projects like painting and installing shelves and carrying everything heavy and awkward. (he’s also very good at making Pop Tarts.)
My parents have been so dreamy. They came over to help paint on Saturday and when I mentioned painting the bathroom, when they were almost finished with the nursery, they grabbed the tape and started painting the bathroom and now that looming project is done. (oh and they brought dinner over for us, when they came over to paint.) (oh and my Mom is also very good at making Pop Tarts.)
Brian’s parents have brought meals and watched Eli and watched the kids and honestly, we just can’t get over how lucky we are to have our parents nearby. But also to have parents so willing to help when we really, really need it.
(by the way, I still can’t carry Eli, I’m really hoping this changes soon.)
I guess that’s it. There’s my update for you guys. I can’t wait to share the nursery with you and Anna and Noah’s new shared room and of course, pictures of this little girl. I love that you’re here for me to share these things with, you make me feel even more grateful for all of the great things in my life.
So, thank you.
poptarts are important.
NSTs and biophysical profiles and high blood pressure…you’re speaking my language! I went through that with both of my boys. I hope everything continues to be stellar for you and I can’t wait to see pictures of that tiny baby girl!
Thanks for sharing it all with us! For those of us who are done having babies, we’re kind of living vicariously through you. I loved being pregnant and miss it…a little bit. Four is a wonderful number! When I was pregnant with #4 people would ask how I was feeling and my reply was, “I feel like I’m sitting in the front seat of a roller coaster and we’ve reached the top of that very first steep climb, ready to take that big plunge, but I’m not buckled in.” Basically, I knew it was going to be fun and I was looking forward to it but was a little bit afraid that I might fall out. So far, I haven’t fallen out.
She’s coming soon! You’re going to do great!
The high blood pressure, NSTs and biophysical profiles are all very familiar to me too. I had high blood pressure but well controlled during both pregnancies. With my last pregnancy I was doing NSTs twice a week by week 35 and frequently my little girl would fail and I would head for ultrasound. Twice she didn’t pass the ultrasound/BPP and I was told to drink some caffeine and they would rescan me in 45 minutes to an hour. She is now a healthy three year old, full of energy and life but she is a little stubborn:)
I have been following your blog for a few years now and I am so happy for you and your family!
So glad you are feeling much better! Thank goodness you have all those awesome helpers!
So glad you are feeling better. Thinking of you!
I feel for you! My daughter (now 6 months old) failed her NST’s almost weekly. I started NST’s early too and felt like I was always coming or going from the hospital. They switched it up quite a bit. Sometimes I’d get a biophysical profile and sometimes they’d admit me and do an extended NST. The bright spot is I got to see my baby girl via ultrasound every week which is very comforting! Glad the PT is working! Hope you get some relief in your finals weeks being preggo!
I love everything about this post, ESPECIALLY that you are feeling better and are happy and have help and things are getting done. But my very most favorite part is the spray bottle idea–I laughed out loud! I totally want to do that, HA! xoxoxo
I’m so glad you’re getting better.
So glad your family is so helpful (AND that they make great poptarts.)
I think you’re right- everything will fall into place.
Also? I really like your spray bottle idea. I just may need to steal that for myself.
I like the idea of baby girl just hangin’ out, feet up, chill-axing in your bellay. So that’s what I think the NSTs are all about.
And I like that the physical therapy has helped. (I married a P.T., smart, no?)
And I can’t wait to see the new bedrooms!
You seriously need to add a “like” button! Glad things are going better for you..you are in the home stretch! Cannot wait to see photos of everything
I’m so happy you are feeling better. I can’t wait to see pictures of everything, but most especially that beautiful new baby girl. If you would let me, I’d love to make you dinner one night (or at least make you a Pop Tart). Just email me a day and it’s done. XOXO
I think of you often and hope you are well and resting and happy! I can’t wait to see pictures of this baby girl and learn what her name is! Can’t wait to see the new bedrooms!
I’m just getting so excited for this baby girl to come into the family. I think your description of her being just like Brian is right on! She’s just like, “ya, whateva, dude” Take care of yourself!
I’m glad you are feeling better and baby is passing her NTS’s. No need to panick as what gets done gets done and what doesn’t, well, everyone will understand. Besides, how many new borns actually use their rooms in the first few weeks anyhow?
I used to get the same comments about being wrong about the # of babies in my belly or due date. Some people!
It all sounds wonderful and I’m just SO glad you’re feeling better!!
And now you’ve me want to paint something.
Hang in there! Thank you for sharing your beautiful life.
So glad to hear you are getting better. I’m sure she must just take after her daddy with her nice calm temperament! I am looking forward to seeing her.