Clara has been here for nearly one month and I can tell you that our lives have been turned upside-down.
In a good way, of course. (mostly, of course.)
I’m not sure how it happens, but we always forget how busy the newborn phase is. The nonstop nursing, the desire to always hold the baby, the endless diapers, the piles of laundry containing 700 little pieces of clothing … there’s just not much time for anything else.
And then you factor in a demanding 19 month old. One who likes to be involved in everything single thing you do, from nursing to changing diapers to doing the laundry. (and undoing the folded laundry you just so neatly folded into beautiful little pink piles.)
And when he’s not involved in you and the baby, he’s involved in climbing on the kitchen table, playing in the toilet, typing on Dad’s computer, drawing on the walls with marker …
And then this toddler gets sick and won’t eat or drink and just cries. And cries. He sometimes doesn’t cry because he then just screams. And screeches.
In the midst of all this, Mommy gets mastitis. The worst ever with two days of high fevers, her entire breast is bright pink and it takes days to get better.
And this same Mommy? She took a two week maternity leave from work. So between all of this? She’s working. (or trying to, at least.)
And then there are two older kids. These two are pretty low maintenance, they get their own water and there are no diapers to change, they have homework and are always wanting to turn Blue’s Clues off which is the very thing that is saving their Mom’s sanity because it makes the toddler stop SCREEEECHING.
And then sometimes, right before bed, or early on a weekend, we all sit, peacefully, on the couch, just being a family.
Every morning, I wake up (reluctantly, of course) and I plan a few things that I’d like to complete for the day. On the list is always “write a post” and that’s the one thing that always gets tossed out because, well, obviously the hungry, hungry baby and the very climby toddler and our world of everything else becomes way more important. And well, it is.
I often find myself wondering how these other moms do it. How they can seem to have it all together with their clean clothes and flat bellies and clean children, their tidied homes, their shaved legs (I’m assuming) and they continue to post on their blogs as if they have a team of people helping them get through each day.
And here I sit, struggling to, not do it all, but to do maybe half of it all and I just can’t.
And all of this while Brian has been home this entire time and goes back to work TOMORROW.
(LORD HELP ME.)
So, honestly, these days, I’m doing what I can, I’m remembering how difficult these days are but also how fleeting they are. Soon, Clara will be the one on the table and tossing the laundry while Eli is away at preschool and the big kids are bigger and drifting further away no matter how hard I try to grasp at them to stay closer to their Mama.
So, I’m here. Living. Waiting. Hoping, Praying.
Surviving. All while being surrounded by these people.
These beautiful, important people.
You deserve a Mommy Medal! I have two and couldn’t imagine a baby in the house again. Now that we are such a well oiled machine, going back to the days of endless nursing and diapers would be the end of me. You should be proud that you are able to juggle 4!
I have missed your posts, Beth- but it makes me so happy to know WHY I have been missing your posts. You have an amazing family- enjoy every minute. I continue to learn so much from you. Your grace, faith and steadfast optimism is the greatest.
Beth,
Seriously, crying at my desk here. I know how you feel, because that’s how I feel too. I don’t know how everyone else is getting everything done, and I just can’t do it…and I only have ONE! I also don’t understand the flat-belly. I can’t get that either. Anyway, one thing that I know that is ALWAYS true is that we are so much harder on ourselves than on others; so I know you are doing an amazing job. Your babies (all of them) are beautiful!
Oh mama, let it go. You know what is important and what has to get done. The rest will get done when it gets done. Every mom prioritizes according to her needs, not anyone else’s. So if this is the last place you have to be or want to be, then own that. We know you’ll come back when you can. Your family is beautiful. You are fabulous.
Beth, I was just where you are right now. My baby girl is now 4 1/2 months old and I thought the same thing…HOW DO THEY DO IT!!??! I assure you that THEY are NOT doing all that you think they are doing. Now that I am more rested and on a better schedule, I am learning that no one can do it all. Some moms appear to have everything in perfect little tidy bundles of togetherness but it’s only the appearance of perfection. Keep your head up and enjoy this time with your beautiful family!
Yep. That sounds about right. Four is INSANITY. Three was hard but four really kicked my butt. And those people that say, “If you can handle three kids you can handle any number” make me crazy. That just DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! And I bet five is even CRAZIER. BUT, I hear it gets easier.
Right after our fourth was born the hubby and I were at a school function for our first grader and one of the moms asked us if we noticed a big difference between three and four and before I could open my mouth my hubby says, “Oh no! It’s a piece of cake!” I wanted to punch him in his face. I looked at the mom and said, “Um, actually it is CRAZY. It is a HUGE difference.” Of course it isn’t a big deal to my hubs cuz he is at work all day! UGH.
ANYWAY, hang in there! You’ll be sailing along before you know it.
I love that last pic. Perfect!
You are wonderful and amazing, and before you know it, you’ll realize it’s all running pretty smoothly. Having a newborn and any number of other children is just plain hard, but the bumpiness will even out! Treasure those peaceful moments, and accept help from friends who offer!
I love this post! You’re right, Eli does have the most impressing screech! LOL.
But, one day, sooner than later, everything will calm down…and you’ll be like “oh, that really wasn’t so bad after all.”
You’ll see.
This is what I needed today. I’m pregnant with twins right now and it feels like I’m always complaining. Thanks for giving me some perspective. I should ENJOY the time they are inside me, safe, and healthy. I should ENJOY these moments of me being the only one able to feel them move. I can look forward to when they are here, but for now I will enjoy this time. Because soon it will be gone.
beth, i want to help you so badly! i am here in hobart, in…if you ever need anything. i struggled when my twins were babies, and the bigs were at school, and hubby was at work. i cried alot, but i managed. i wish i would have had someone here to help me. so, please don’t hesitate to ask for help. the last pic on this post of your family is so beautiful! i can feel the enormous love you have for them. they are lucky to have you, just as you are lucky to have them. don’t worry about the laundry…it can wait until tonight. at least, that is what i use to tell myself.
Family comes first and as I’ve been telling my friend who just had her 4th baby, it’s just for a time that this craziness will last, then it will be more, different craziness. For now…just relax and enjoy those babies!
Oh I know it. This newborn phase is SO hard. I feel like I’m right back in it right now because Elliott is sick. So, Mr. Crankypants doesn’t want me to put him down and needs unlimited access to my breast to keep him happy.
Also…my belly is FAR from flat. Just sayin.
xoxo
Beth,
If you figure out how to do it, please share! Maybe they don’t have it all together – just their blog posts give that impression. I just have one and am slowly learning just to let things go. Thinking about having another baby in the house (in another year and a half or so) makes me nervous!
Signed,
Charlene (I’ve only shaved my legs once since giving birth three months ago) Poulin
virtual hug until i can give you a real one. and hold sweet little clara so you can take a nap. xoxo
I’am crying at the boob in the pic, lol. Been there and done that 3 times, my boob was always out! Nothing like keeping it real.
(That is a boob, right?)
HUGS!
Amen. Just do what you’re doing and put what really matters first. They are all so beautiful and worthy, and so are you! I think those of us who have been there (and with a few fewer kids, even!) give a little cheer when you DO post, and another sort of little cheer when you don’t!
Hi Beth! I’m a regular reader, but I don’t often comment…
Today I HAD to though! This post is so spot on for me! My second child arrived on October 7th and so as I closely followed your pregnancy and delivery I was also savoring mine.
These days I feel the same as you express here- so grateful, so full of love and so very swamped with things to do (mind you I only have 2 children!). I think the same things of other new Mamas in the blog world and find it so refreshing to read your thoughts. You are amazing, you are accomplishing way more than I’m sure you give yourself credit for and YOU ARE FOR REAL
Thanks for that!
I only have two and today I just shaved my legs for the first time in months. You’re doing just fine.
((HUGS))
Goodness! Getting out of bed every day right now is a major accomplishment for you. I think you are doing a marvelous job. You could show me the sink full of dirty dishes and I would still be impressed. That’s at least the good thing about blogs~life in macro cuts out the dirty dishes and socks on the floor. You are just more honest than those other moms you think are doing a better job. Mastitis is not good. Blessings and I hope you are feeling better.
If it makes you feel any better, I just shaved my legs (all the way!!) for the first time in WEEKS.
You’re doing great. Hugs, girl.
i remember those days you described so well, but now as I sit surrounded by wedding invites as i and my adult children, I am reminisching , but would not swap the march of time.
I was blessed to have children who loved me then and still do ,
Thank you for reminding me about those days as \I await my first grandchild
I wonder myself the same things and I only have 1 1/2 kids. I don’t know how you do it! I’m already feeling like a failure as a mom most days and I have no idea what I’m going to do when the new one comes. Everyone else seems to have it more together than I do and I feel like I’m just trying to make it through each day.
It’s always nice to remember I’m not alone.
4 is hard. It’s wonderful to be blessed with 4 little people, but it is a lot of work. Glad to know Eli is a screecher too… my William (25 m, baby 3) can definitely cry and screech and drive us all crazy. Crackers and the Wiggles are usually the only ways to calm him down. My big kids are so sick of the Wiggles. But I do what I must to keep my sanity. No mom out there is doing it all. If they are, there is no way they are doing any of it well. Shaved legs, clean laundry, scrubbed toilets can wait. Believe me, my 4th just turned 1 in August and it was the fastest year of my life. Savor every moment (even the maddening ones!) you can with Clara and Eli. You’ll blink and they will be 1 and 2 1/2. Hang in there Beth!
You’re doing just fine, Beth! .I’ve been right where you are. Four kids here…two boys, two girls and I sat on my couch feeding one with the other three draped around me in some manner too. It’s a crazy time in life but man oh man, does it go fast! Try to be in the moment as much as possible. You know how fast it all changes!
Hi sweet Beth,
I’ve been reading your blog for years, and I agree with everyone else. Who cares about those flat tummied showered over achievers, some days the most important thing you can do is step over the piles of toys and laundry ignore the sink full of dishes order take out and enjoy your babies. Don’t blink, keep that fantastic camera handy and breathe you rock your family is amazingly blessed and the rest doesn’t matter!!!
Hugs from someone who feels like she knows you!
Aimee
i have missed having your voice in my blog-reading time each day, but we all know that being a mom is the most important task you will ever face – not being a blogger.
you will find your new rhythm; i mean, it’s only been a month, after all. in the meantime, though, i totally think you’re a rock star. just saying.
my baby is nearly 14 and I am only 10 pounds overweight and even when I am where I need to be weight wise I still don’t have a flat belly and it’s cooling off here in Ohio…so no shaved legs
Wow, beautiful family! I, as the others have/will comment, missed you! I hesitated to even make a comment because then it gives you one more thing to read and right now that is probably hard! So I’ll leave you with – you have a newborn – give yourself a little slack and a lot of credit. Hang in there!!
Bless you! I stopped at two. But you have some beautiful babies!!
Mastitis is THE worst. The only good thing about it is that it means you have a beautiful new baby. Oh, and I got a nice heating pad out of it. Seriously, it is the worst ever. I’ve had it three (well sort of four times when it came back once…make sure you finish your meds!). Hang in there, readers will always be here, but “babies don’t keep.” God Bless!
Thanks for making me feel better
I am right there with you, I don’t even bother to fold laundry while my two year old is awake because she will unfold every single piece and throw them all around the room while I am breastfeeding her 6 week old brother. Right now every toy she owns is littering the floor at my feet. Many days we make it to 3pm (her naptime) and all I have done is feed people, change their diapers and keep them out of trouble, with nothing else at all accomplished. And you manage to run a business in the middle of all this! I want to be you when I grow up 
You have a beautiful family 