Adam, sometimes I just can’t do it all and the rest of the time I just pretend like I can. Today is one of those days where I can’t do it all and I am definitely not going to pretend because I’m too tired and I still have a to-do list as long as Randy’s cereal necklace. And listen, I know that doesn’t make any sense but please, just pretend.
With that, I appreciate you taking the reins tonight and offering your expertise on Idol and allowing me to take a step back a bit from tonight’s show. You’re the best. Well, nachos are the best, but you’re a close second.
Adam: It is now my mission in life to eat all the nachos so that I can be the best. Or a second best, to you, if you’ll help me finish all the nachos.
Beth, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I’m not 100% fond of Colton Dixon. But after tonight’s performance, I have to say that I still hate him. The song is boring. His pitch, I’m sorry, Steven, was not perfect (unless by “perfect” he meant “all over the place”). It was self-absorbed, shallow, flat, and trite. And FAKE. TEARS. What’s with the fist shaking? It looks like he’s playing the most emotional game of Yahtzee in history.
Skylar got to sing with Stevie Nicks. For that, I feel so happy for her. She also looked pretty nice in her Tommy Hilfiger round 2 duds, except that it looked like she was wearing the dust ruffle from a Twilight bed in a bag. She sounded great, too. So there’s that. I don’t know how to feel about this Rachel Dratch character.
Beth: Heejun Han is taking a serious turn tonight (about time). I love the song he’s singing and I really hope he doesn’t make me cry because I just had a beer (about time) and I tend to cry easily when I’ve had beer. I thought he sounded pretty good, he sounded a bit like Michael McDonald (I’m old). It was good. I approve. And I often want to call him Hey Jude. I hope that’s okay.
Adam: It’s okay, Beth. I always want to call him “Heejun, don’t sing it bad. Take a sad song, please sing it better. Remember to put lenses in your glasses . . . and that’s it.
Adam: Mini-Gwyneth is cute, but she seemed to struggle with the song. The lower notes. The bigger notes. The higher notes. The briskly flowing lyrics in the verses. I just don’t think Hollie was very well suited for that song . . . at least she wasn’t quite prepared to kill it tonight. Also: why was she singing in the snow? I’m so confused.
Why is everybody crying? I’ve had enough crying for today, Beth. I don’t need DeAndre Brackensick raining down the falsetto tears all up in my living room. I just want some Skittles. But the singing was good. His hair is in control of my world right now. And I’m glad the singing is better this week. This is a good show.
Adam, I’m going to have to take your word for it, I’m just skipping around.
Speaking of skipping around, Jessica Sanchez is covering Beautiful Nightmare by Beyonce. She’s definitely taking the song and doing some interesting things to it. Adding some drama, some serious singing and well, some pitchiness. She sounded good. I wasn’t crazy about it or her dress but I’ve seen worse. (HOLLIE)
Adam: I probably enjoyed this song as much as any performance all year. Right up until the MJ medley. I loved that business.
The secret to me enjoying Phillip Phillips Phillipses (I want to start a band named Points of Phillipses now) is to not look. All of his faces, every single one of them, would indicate he’s about to play a really mean (but kind of hilarious) trick on me. But his voice is good, and this performance was pretty funky cool. And then I look, and HE’S crying. What the Eff Effs Effses?
Beth: He kinda looks like he’s trying to take a big poop and that is just not good business. It makes people uncomfortable watching others poop. Next time I’ll look away. Good advice.
Adam: Beth, we’re not going to get through a single week without Mariah Carey threatening to disturb the delicate balance of Idol Chat. Joshua is singing “Without You.” And crying, because DUH. I liked it. A little over the top, but hey. It wasn’t Jacob Lusk.
Beth: Loved it. Love him. At this point, I hope he wins, dammit.
Elise is tackling some Led Zepplin, I admire this choice because it’s so out there, so different. 20 seconds into it I can tell you that it’s my favorite performance of hers ever. Doesn’t say much but at least I’m not complaining about her looking like Mariah tonight! But I did Adam, I actually liked it!
Adam: I liked it, too! I actually liked tonight a lot! I really hope Hollie can be on her merry, Mini-Gwyneth way, and I think this week is the week. (And by Hollie, I mean Colton, but I don’t think I’m that lucky.)
Who’s going home tonight?
Beth: Hollie (let’s not forget that I’ve been correct for three weeks straight. Thanks for listening to me, America!)
What do you guys think?