Adam: Well, friends, we’re down to 10. I’m so excited that Jennifer Lopez is wearing a leotard and a leather couch and that Tommy Hilfiger is on to explain to us why that’s awesome. But mostly I’m excited about Billy Joel night. Are you a fan of the Piano Man, Beth?
You know, I am. And the older I get, the more I like him. My favorite song of his is “Uptown Girl.” Hey, Adam, if you want to have a good time, go to You Tube and watch his videos. Oh man, those 80′s were cray-cray.
Adam: Diddy is mentoring the contestants on how to sing Billy Joel songs. I’m already confused. I’m about ready to quit right now. Deandre maybe should have joined me, because he’s singing Only the Good Die Young into the ground. The dry, boring ground. I didn’t believe a word he sang. Wrong choice, Curly Sue.
So, listen. You could just mute the sound and this performance could easily be passed off as a performance of “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” what with the patterns and the flourescent colrs and the bouncing. And also, muting it would make the horrible sound stop coming out of his mouth. GAH.
Hey Adam. You know how I eat a lot of nachos?
What? That’s all. Just saying I eat a lot of nachos. So, Erica Van Pelt is up and she cut her hair off and colored it black all thanks to Tommy Hilfiger telling her to do so. Good thing he didn’t tell her to jump off a damn bridge. Also, I’m glad she didn’t say she Idolized DeAndre because we don’t need two crazy-haired contestants. Regarding her performance, I thought she sounded good but I was bored. No really. I was bored.
Adam: Erika looks good in black, especially with the purple light dancing along the crest of her new raven locks. She’s still oversinging, but her song choice showcased what’s best about her voice. But she still goes on run without purpose or direction. She’s still pancake syrup to me.
Joshua. He’s never heard She’s Got a Way. So . . . sing that one? Sure, makes total sense. You know what also makes sense? Singing it in a tight black suit sitting backwards in the swamp by Yoda’s house. This whole performance makes complete and total sense. A vocal explosion of a quiet little meaningless song. Sure.
Beth, I’ve got a hole in my temple from all the head scratching I just did.
That sucks, Adam. Here. Have a beer.
I’m just thinking that he’ll never really go off key. He started a tiny bit rough, like in the first line but after that, Joshua hit every.single.note. I thought it was good.
Skylar Laine. Those people standing around her awkwardly clapping? Horrifying. This performance was pretty horrifying, too. I have no other words except I think Idol needs to make sure she’s not really Rachel Dratch.
Adam: Diddy said he felt like he was in church. I did too . . . kinda bored. Tommy Hilfiger apparently thought she’d feel more confident dressed as a designer rain storm. Oh, Rachel. You looked awkward up there, kinda like Debbie Downer. Seriously, Skylar just made me sad tonight. This show has been fantastic!
If the contestants are any indication of the voting audience, there’s no harm in singing a song no one knows because NO ONE KNOWS WHO BILLY JOEL EVEN IS. So the fact that Elise sang a song I don’t even know might not matter. I liked the performance. But I can’t remember it (and she’s still singing).
Remember back in the day when the Idol judges rarely did standing ovations and now it’s like at least one person gets one per show? This bothers me. C’mon, judges! Show your hate! Compare their voices to screeching cats! ugh. I miss Simon. In other news, Randy’s beaded, preschool brooch is off the hook.
Oh, Elise sounded good! She did. ABOUT TIME.
Philly Philliperson is up next. He’s singing Moving Out. I super love this song, Adam. I’m not sure How I feel about Dave Matthews Junior singing it except that I actually REALLY liked it. My favorite performance so far tonight. oh and Randy just said those that do should and shouldn’t do couldn’t wouldn’t do should. Wise words.
Adam: Phillip Philharmonic scared me a little tonight, Beth. I thought he was going to be killed by lasers. I happen to completely disagree with Randy. I thought he should have taken the advice of everyone, because that song dragged for me. I think he’s a caricature of himself. I can’t listen to that again. I must be in a bad mood.
Beth, I should probably just stop talking about the performances at all. Honesty? Honestly? I don’t get that, Hollie. If that song came up on shuffle in my iTunes, I’d skip that business in two seconds. But I LOVE Randy’s color. The polka dots are my new best friends.
Whoa! Hollie is Wonder Woman! Fantastic! And not only is she Wonder Woman but she’s aged 42 years since her rehearsal. Her voice is so good but I’m seriously distracted by the off-beat finger tapping and the ridiculous outfit. Someone should punch Tommy Hilfiger in the face.
Heejun is up next! He’s so funny! And his voice is so good! But you know what ruins it for me? Glasses without lenses. I hope he wears lenses tonight. To be honest, I really love this song but he seemed to yell a lot? I don’t know, Adam. He confuses me.
Adam: I’m glad Heejun had fun with the performance, but I’m as disappointed as Steven was that he turned it into a joke. I noticed he has lenses sometimes and not others. I presume he’s concerned about glare. Not so much about hitting all the notes. Still, I wasn’t bored! Heejun is my bosom buddy.
Jessica is singing a song originally performed by Billy Joe. I have no idea. Beth, can you pass the queso? I can’t move.
I’m so sorry to hear you can’t move. Of course, here’s the que … oh wait. Sorry. I ate it all. Plain chip?
I seriously loved and agreed with everything Diddy said when it came to advising Jessica. He’s a smart fellow, that Diddy is. Okay, so you know how during the season finale, the winner has to sing that horribly corny song once they’re crowned Miss American Idol? That’s what this song feels like for me. She has amazing vocals but I found it to be really corny. LOOK! A STAND OVATION! I’M COMPLETELY SURPRISED.
Oh, Colton is up. Your favorite. He’s singing Piano Man tonight. You know, it’s all very dramatic and he really does have a good voice but every time he makes his voice break, or squeak or whatever it is, it makes me twitch. I can not handle it. I do love the piano in this song. He did well tonight. Besides the whole Peter Brady-ness of it all.
Adam: You know what the amazing thing about Colton’s performance was, Beth? He wasn’t even planning to perform tonight! It was just supposed to be his sister! Can you believe it? He squeaks too much, you nailed it. His false modesty is fooling no one. On this couch, at least.
Who’s going home?
Beth says Erika
Adam says Hollie
What do you guys think? YES. YOU.