Adam: How in the name of Ryan Seacrest’s immaculate hair poof did we get here? The finale? Two contestants? A Tuesday night? Jessica and Phillip and Phillips and no Joshua? And, more importantly, still no Colton? Beth, I feel like we’re on fast forward, J-Lo looks like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story, and the show is only an hour. Could you be more excited? /Chandler
You are so good at the details. I actually had to rewind and look at the Leg Lamp herself once you mentioned it and by golly, you are right, Chandler. The season did fly by, probably because it wasn’t a very good season. *shrugs* But let me tell you something. If I had a ton of money like J-Lo, I wouldn’t make my tops out of electrical tape, Just seems totally unnecessary.
Adam: Jessica started things off on a grand note with a dress so long she had to hold it, a Whitney song that was probably just a touch too big for her, and wearing what I can only assume was a bedazzled ring pop. It was just kind of meh for me. The producers and judges need to stop feeding her super-diva songs. It’s really not fair. She’s 16, not Celine Dion.
This is such a good song but I felt like she was like an angry Mama yelling at her kids at Target. Sometimes, she was singing, but other times her growls were just a little too grrrrrrrrrrr for me. My favorite note of hers was her last because she actually sang it. And also because it was her last.
Phillip Phillips McPhilliperson is singing Stand By Me for the first round. Just a great choice of song for him. I loved how he made it more current, loved the acoustic guitar, but I wasn’t totally wowed and in love with him. And that facial expression that he makes that looks like he’s trying to poop? I don’t know, call me crazy but I can’t get used to it.
Adam: Phillip lost me on the chorus. I didn’t feel like he was standing by me so much as meandering aimlessly around me. Probably looking for a place to poop. Phillip, it’s the finale. You probably should start thinking about being in it to win it. Also: J-Lo’s eyebrows are bothering me.
Jessica’s second song is The Prayer. Oh man, I’m just not wowed by Jessica tonight. Vocally it was okay, but artistically? Jessica was a messica. It’s a slow song to begin with, and slowing it down, stripping it of its well rounded power, and throwing unwarranted runs into random places just did not help me love this.
Say what?! Messica? (awesome, by the way) I loved this performance. Not only did I find it a great performance but her dress was perfection. Which is really what’s most important. Well, what’s really most important is that she appeared to have eaten her ring pop between songs. Such a smart girl.
Phillip is back up with Moving Out. So. He sounded the same as usual. Nothing spectacular but there is just something about his facial expressions tonight that are really bugging me. But mostly what bugs me is that I haven’t had nachos in seven days.
Adam: I liked this. I remember not liking his original performance of this song nearly as much, but this seemed fresh somehow. The creepy looks are out of control, and I can’t even comment on the nacho drought without crying, so maybe we should just move on to round three.
Okay, round three. Um . . . can we go back to the happy times of creepy faces and longing for queso? The song was lame. Jessica’s voice sounded strained. She looked bored. Where in the David Archuleta loving world did Jessica misplace all her cute? I’m not happy with this finale.
First of all, Steven is such a pretty woman tonight. I don’t know how he does it. I didn’t hate this performance but I found myself happily distracted by her bedhead and the acrylic steps beside the piano and also my stomach was growling.
Adam, you must know that from just the guitar part at the beginning that I would love this song. You know this right? HOLY FREAKING CRAP, I love love loved this song. It’s right up my alley, totally something I’d listen to, happily, a million times. I loved it. By far, THE BEST performance, wait for it … of the season. By anyone.
Adam: Shhh. I’m listening again.
Who’s going to win?
Beth: after that last performance, it better be Phillip, dammit.
Adam: I’m thinking Phillip wins, based solely on the last performance. I’m voting now.
Me, too. Adam. Me too.
Chime in and tell us who you guys think will win!
…that’s it for Idol Chat. Maybe we’ll see you next year!